Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 I've just made an amazing discovery about myself. I'm not one person, but two! I am two people ruled by two different masters, born into one body. I had always wondered why I had such different personalities at different times: why as a child, I was jealous one minute but generous the next; why I could be so competitive one day and so compassionate the next day; why some days I'd clean house like crazy, but the next month I'd loll around lazily; why I'd be cold as steel to a team member sometimes, but so caring and understanding to the same person another time; why I'm so shy and reserved most times, but open and extrovertive some times; why I'm so minutely logical and painfully reasoning sometimes, but so expansive and universal at other times; why I'm so particular about fairness and judgment sometimes, but so ready to forgive and love at the same time; why my mind tries to dwell on the past or worry about the future sometimes, but I'd rather forget time and live in the present sometimes. While I've been pondering these inconsistencies, I've also been reading up about how each person is composed of Jiva and Atma; ego and soul. While I thought I understood the concept, I didn't think it actually applied to me yet. I thought I was all ego and no soul - as of now. I thought the soul they say I must have is covered up by my ego, and not apparent just yet. I thought if I was lucky, some faraway day I'd feel my soul. But now putting two and two together, it appears that my soul has been just as active a part of me all along too - this is an exciting discovery for me. The love, compassion, forgiveness, generosity, non-judgment are all trademarks of my soul, my Atma. While I still harbor my ego, the Jiva - the one who counts, worries, keeps tabs, compares and complains, I'm happy that it's at the most at an equal footing with my soul, not greater. I'm thrilled that my soul is not just a distant observer - it is an observer and it is detached and non-judgmental, but not distant at all. It is as much a part of me as my ego - and it feels good to feel it. It gives me hope that my ego can start taking note of my soul, and start respecting it, rather than try to run my life on its own. Now that I can actually sense my soul's presence, I can try to follow where its voice leads me. And even though my ego is not going away anytime soon (it won't give up that easily), even though my ego seems easier to get in touch with than my soul, and even though my soul still has a long journey ahead to grow and progress, I'm not at all worried. If anything, I'm loving this journey, and its little discoveries along the way!! I wrote the above yesterday, and this morning, what do I read in Sananthana Sarathi, but Swami speaking to me directly, giving me a deeper insight - Man is a mixture of two strands of the same substance - Maya and Madhava, Bhrama (illusion) and Rama, Deha (body) and Dehi (Atma), Jada (inert matter) and Chit (consciousness), Sarira (body) and Sariri (embodied soul), Jiva and Brahman. Like the two stones of the grinding mill, the Brahman stone is stable, the Jiva stone is revolving. The stable stone (Brahman) is the base, the revolving stone (Jiva) is the dependent.. -- Baba (Gurupurnima, 13 July 1965) Sai Ram and Love sai_sravanthi_999 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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