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My journal: I can tell he's listening!

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“If you take one step towards me, I’ll take a thousand steps towards you.â€

- Baba

 

It’s amazing when I think of God actually listening to me, paying attention – to this little me, one of six billion people on earth. But I just have to stop and think about it, and know it to be true – Swami does mean what he says.

 

Anger is one of the things I’ve always had to grapple with. I used to unconsciously give in to anger whenever a situation arose that didn’t go my way. So it was naturally one of the first things I’m trying to consciously challenge in this past year. And I begged Swami to help and he responded! With situation after situation that would generate anger within me. For a while, I didn’t understand what was going on – why does my life seem distorted around these angry situations? Then I realized it was Swami’s work – his sense of humor, his compassion – putting me into those situations, encouraging me to challenge my innate anger, and see if I can win over it or give in. Each time I challenge it and not give in, the anger loses its power. And now, although there are situations everyday that go awry, I take

the time to stop and think and decide whether to react with anger, or with love.

 

Another example is his guidance. I don’t have a Guru, nor a spiritual education, other than my parents telling me to follow Swami – that was my only direction. And so I started praying to him for his direction and guidance. Before, I used to pray for a certain outcome, or pour out my long wish list for him to satisfy. But now, each morning, I just pray to him to guide me in the direction he wants me to go. And everyday since, he has responded – with a book, with a word, with a sentence, with a situation, with a person – he is the greatest Guru, the only Guru! He knows what I need without me even asking for it.

 

One other thing that I beg Swami for is his love. It’s what every human being craves for – we are born craving for love. We go through phases and ages of looking for love in all the wrong places. I finally figured out that the love I was really looking for is God’s. Pure, unconditional, divine love. I saw and felt bits and pieces of love – with underlying expectations and desires and conditions, but for the first time ever, I have realized that I don’t need to depend on human love. All I need to do is love my God, and he loves me back – he shows me his love through his people, through nature, through dreams, through intuition – in millions of little ways. It is the best feeling in the world – I feel it in my heart and soul all the time now, incessantly. And I

know his love is eternal. In Swami’s own words, his love is like the love of a thousand mothers, and I feel it!

 

Sai Ram and love

sai_sravanthi_999

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