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My journal: Omniscient Sai

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09 Mar '08

 

This is my 5th accident to-date – 2 big ones. The first time I fell asleep at the wheel, and veered off the road into a tree. That woke me up, and the first thing I noticed, after pushing down the inflated airbag, was that the Sai Bhajans tape had automatically pushed itself into the tape player (this was when there were tape players in cars), and started playing! The car was irrevocably damaged and deemed a total loss, but I was safe as a baby sleeping in the midst of a war, because its mother carried it on her back, in a safe pouch.

 

The second big one was today, when my car was sandwiched between two SUVs. I could see the red Jeep coming at a speed behind me – inevitable that it was going to crash into me (I didn’t think it would hit that hard!) and so, into the SUV in front of me, but I couldn’t do a thing about it, except watch it coming – no fear, so calm – and now I see – watching it as a witness would – it was my inner-self, inner-witness, although it almost felt like I was an outside-witness. Akhil [my son, 8 at that time], who was asleep, had woken up and started crying as he could feel the Jeep repeatedly ramming into us, but once the dust settled, we were perfectly safe – unscathed! The car was crumpled, all kinds of fluids leaking out from underneath, the engine wouldn’t even start – but we were in a perfect

little bubble amongst all that rubble – we were amazingly smiling!

 

I wondered why now, when I feel so conscious of God’s presence, did this happen? Why have I been in so many accidents? Have I been so asleep that I needed such a strong wake up call (or I should say calls)? What do they mean? And why have I been saved each time? Surely there must be a reason for both. I wondered if it was symbolic of crushing my ego – that associated itself with the pretty car (it didn’t look that pretty after the crash – it was a pitiful sight). I still don’t know the why’s and the how’s, if it might be some unknown karma in some past life that I’m paying for.

 

But one lesson I took away from it came tonight – in a discourse that I listened and watched online – when Swami animatedly said to the audience – I’m always in you, with you, around you, above you, below you, beside you. Oh my, what a beautiful, powerful statement - I shook as I sobbed, tears streaming down my cheeks!

 

Sai Ram and Love

sai_sravanthi_999

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