My journal: Song of the soul (Mano Buddhi Ahamkara)

January 25, 2009

25 Jan 08

Ever since I had learned this little poem [by Adi Shankara] in school, it’s been my teacher, and each time I sing it, it touches me to the deepest core, and there’s not one time that my eyes don’t well up with tears. It instantly cuts through the layers and drives home the point of who I really am, or more like who I’m not.

Mano Buddhi Ahankara Chitta NinahamNacha Shrotra Jihve Na Cha Ghrana NetreNacha Vyoma Bhoomir Na Tejo Na VayuChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

When my mind is cluttered with thoughts, things to do, what people said or did, when it’s getting carried away with what it thinks its identity to be, I remember that I’m not the mind, the intellect, the ego, nor the heart; I’m not the five senses of hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing or touching, I’m not the space or the earth, or the light or the air, I am Shiva, the forever Blissful.

Na Cha Prana Sangyo Na Vai Pancha VayuNa Vaa Sapta dhatur Na Vaa Pancha KoshahNa Vak Pani Padam Na Chopastha PayuChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

This body that I have identified with all along (and still do) is nothing but a vehicle for the soul – it’s just like a car or a cell phone that is necessary to commute or communicate, but it is not part of the soul at all. Just like the car and the cell phone, it’s there to do its job for a while, and when it gets old and unusable, it gets disposed of, and replaced by a new one. So why get attached to it, and get misled into thinking it’s me? The real me is underneath it all, all along – the eternally blissful soul.

Na Me Dvesha Ragau Na Me Lobha MohauMado Naiva Me Naiva Maatsarya BhavahNa Dharmo Na Chartho Na Kamo Na MokshahChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

All these human emotions that I take for granted just because I’m ‘human’ are not at all natural to the ‘being’ part of me – the soul. So why waste time on giving space to these emotions? It would be so much easier to let them go, and instead, focus on who I really am – the real ‘emotion’ – the bliss, the serenity, the deep peace.

Na Punyam Na Papam Na Saukhyam Na DukhamNa Mantro Na Teertham Na Veda Na YajnahaAham Bhojanam Naiva Bhojyam Na BhoktaChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

The entire human existence seems to be all about doing-doing-doing – good deeds, bad deeds, and the results that come out of them – happiness and sadness. But why this endless cycle of karma, when I’m not the person ‘doing’, nor am I the experience. Be still, my beautiful soul, because that’s when I’m bliss.

Na Mrityu Na Shanka Na Me Jati BhedahPita Naiva Me Naiva Mata Na JanmaNa Bandhur Na Mitram Gurur Naiva ShishyahChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

I give such importance to the roles I play – as a mother, as a daughter, an employee, a member of the society, I put so much stock and thought into my different behaviors based on the different roles. But when I stop and think that I’m not the role, that’s when I can stop wearing those masks, take them down, and simply be me – who I really am – the blissful soul.

Aham NirvikaLpo Nirakara RoopoVibhut Vaakhya Sarvatra SarvendriyanamSada Me Samatvam Na Mukthir Na BandhahChidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

To realize I am God, the eternally blissful God, is the whole point and purpose of this birth, life, and many lives. To realize all that I’m not, and to know what I am ultimately – the blissful, the eternal God himself, is what every soul is striving to see. I long for the day when my sleep-laden eyes open and I am given this vision, this realization - that I am indeed, that eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva, love and pure consciousness.

For reference:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atma_Shatakam for the lyrics and the translation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H757DLOHyo & feature=related to listen to one version (search for Atma Shatakam if you'd like to hear other versions)