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Love is not a need!!!

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It is the biggest challenge in life, I think, to learn fully about

love—much less to experience it. In the end, love-real

love-wants nothing. That is because real love NEEDS nothing, so what

could it possibly want?

 

 

The difficulty is in understanding Who We Really Are. When we fully

identify with our Real Selves, we no longer have the problem you are

talking about here. But until we understand, truly, Who and What We

Really Are, we imagine that we are something quite a bit less. We

imagine that we are less than Divine, and that there is something we

need.

 

This is an illusion. It is the First Illusion of Humans. It is a very

powerful illusion-and it is not real. What makes it not real is

the fact that we are One with God. If we were not One with God, the

experience of Need would be very real. But we ARE One with God, and

God needs nothing at all. Therefore, WE need nothing at all, and the

idea that we need something or someone to be happy is an illusion.

 

 

Only when we understand that there is nothing that we need to be truly

happy can we begin to love another in the highest way, in the highest

sense. Only then can we see that the relationship of Love was given to

us as a gift, not so that we may RECEIVE something, but so that we may

GIVE something. For it is in the GIVING of Who We Really Are that we

experience it.

 

And the purpose of all of Life is exactly that: to experience Who We

Really Are.

 

God has created Life so that God may experience Itself.

 

That simple and single sentence explains it all. It makes everything

really very easy to understand. Now, here is how to step out of the

Illusion of Need, and to recreate Love in a way that allows you to

experience it without expecting anything from your beloved:

 

Make EVERYONE your beloved. Make every ONE and every THING your

beloved.

 

Go through Life with one objective and one purpose only: to give love

to everything and everyone.

 

If you do this, you will be so happy by the end of one week that

everyone will think you are on drugs. They will wonder what has

happened to you, what you are " taking " that is making you so crazy.

 

Loving everyone and everything may not be as easy as it sounds. It

will require you to let go of every one of your judgments. You will

have to see everyone and everything as beautiful. I always like to

say, " You will have to learn to love spinach. " I always think that if

you can learn to love over-cooked spinach, you can love anything.

 

Do you know what I mean?

 

So practice with yourself. That is a good place to begin. In fact,

that is the ONLY place you can begin. Because if you cannot love

yourself,utterly and completely, you cannot love anyone or anything

else. All failure to love another, fully and freely, is nothing more

than a form of self-loathing. Only when we stop loathing ourselves,

or any PART of ourselves, can we begin to stop loathing another.

 

The end of self-loathing begins with self-acceptance. We must look at

ourselves completely and accept ourselves absolutely. We must embrace

every bit of ourselves, even our dark side, even our selfish side,

even our " needy " side, even our angry and violent side. Only love can

heal these wounds. Only love can make them go away. But this love will

not come from another person. If you depend on another person's love

to be healed then it again a NEED. This love has to come from within

yourself for yourself. What you resist, persists. What you look at

disappears. It ceases to have its illusory form.

 

So begin your journey to non-expecting love by looking at your SELF in

the mirror, and stop expecting things from your SELF. That is the

first step. It is the biggest step.

 

Now the only way that you will ever be able to stop expecting things

from your Self is to stop imaging that there is someone ELSE, someone

higher than you, someone above you (such as a parent, or God), who

has a right to expect things from YOU.

 

You see, it is our idea that God expects things from us --- things

that are so huge and so big that we cannot possibly give those things

to Him - that sets up the dynamic of all human relationships. This is

what we call Love. We have called Expectation " love " because we have

been taught that this is what Love is. Every religion on the planet

tells us this. Love EXPECTS THINGS. Doesn't God? And isn't it said

that God loves us?

 

So there you have it. In order to stop expecting things from the

people you love, you are going to have to stop imagining a God who

expects things from you.

 

So let us stand in front of that mirror, and say to ourselves, " I

love you. I see Who You Really Are, and I love you without

expectation. I accept you as a thing of Perfection and Beauty, just

exactly the way you are. "

 

This is how God accepts us. In truth, this is how God accepts all of

us. And never let anyone ever tell you anything different.

 

Now, after doing this Mirror Exercise for three or four weeks, you are

ready to go out and try it with the world. What you will be doing is

MAKING THE WORLD YOUR MIRROR. Simply give to the world the Love you

are so wanting to give to yourself. Give your love to everyone and

everything. Soon, you will feel love starting to come back to you.

 

Expect nothing, and give everything, and watch yourself falling in

love, for the first time, without expectation. It will be the wonder

of your life. And you will become the Wonder in everyone else's life.

You will be FULL of wonder. And everyone will say that you are WONDER-

FULL.

 

And this will be not a new thing that is true about you, but something

that has been true about you from the very beginning --- yet something

you forgot, until now.

 

Spend your time not looking for love, but looking for someone who is

looking for love (that means everyone). Then give them all the love

for which they are looking. As you give, so shall you receive.

 

You may not receive love back from that particular person, but you

will receive it from the universe. You cannot WANT to receive love

back from that particular person, or you are not truly loving them

without expectation. You see?

 

 

So the trick is to love without requiring anything in return from that

particular person.

 

 

This does not mean, by the way, that we should stay in abusive

relationships, or remain in an exclusive relationship with someone

that we love without getting anything back. If this is happening to

you, you must then change the nature of your relationship of love,

and move far enough away, in the physical sense, that it no longer

demands of you any sort of exclusivity -- which means limitation.

Because if you are limited to loving someone who does not know how to

love you, you will never experience being loved. We all deserve that

experience. This is not the same as expecting something in return.

This is simply creating life in a way that allows what goes around to

come around. If you have closed yourself in to a relationship that

stops your own love from coming back to you, open up that

relationship by creating space within it for you to receive your own

love back through the world, and the other people, around you.

 

This doesn't mean that you stop loving the person you have been with.

Nor does it mean that you are loving with expectation. It merely means

that, as you continue to love the person you have been with, you

decide not to LIMIT your love to that person by continuing to be in a

closed, exclusive relationship. It means not that you stop loving,

but that you CHANGE THE NATURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP so that you may

love others we well, and perhaps even find another through whom your

own love for the world can flow back to you!

 

Non-expectation is the key. And we all can get there. Yet the journey

is challenging. But love is worth the challenge. Love is God. Live in

Love.

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Sai Ram

 

Bro.Swamy Mahadevan

 

Very nicely you explained.Very good explanation from your part

 

Very well quoted

 

" It is the biggest challenge in life, I think, to learn fully about

love—much less to experience it. In the end, love-real

love-wants nothing. That is because real love NEEDS nothing, so what

could it possibly want? "

 

There is nothing greater on earth than love. Anything can be

accomplished through love. Therefore, make every effort to promote

love. True devotion consists in offering all your thoughts and

actions to God and yearning for His grace. Bhakti has been described

as a state of non-separation from God. Regardless of time, space or

circumstance, one should feel closeness to God – that is true

devotion (Bhakti). Devotion confined to a brief spell in the puja

room or temple is not true devotion. During that time, devotion seems

to swell within you and you feel at peace but, once outside, the

peace is lost and anger takes its place. This cannot be called

devotion. True devotion transcends the limitations imposed by one's

daily routines and the obligations of life. Love for the Divine

should be present in any situation. Strive to cultivate such love and

experience the joy of sharing it with others

 

Sai Ram

With love

Dr.pooja Sai Bhatia

Puttaparthi

 

, " Swamy Mahadevan "

<mahadevanvnswamy wrote:

>

>

> It is the biggest challenge in life, I think, to learn fully about

> love—much less to experience it. In the end, love-real

> love-wants nothing. That is because real love NEEDS nothing, so what

> could it possibly want?

>

>

> The difficulty is in understanding Who We Really Are. When we fully

> identify with our Real Selves, we no longer have the problem you are

> talking about here. But until we understand, truly, Who and What We

> Really Are, we imagine that we are something quite a bit less. We

> imagine that we are less than Divine, and that there is something we

> need.

>

> This is an illusion. It is the First Illusion of Humans. It is a

very

> powerful illusion-and it is not real. What makes it not real is

> the fact that we are One with God. If we were not One with God, the

> experience of Need would be very real. But we ARE One with God, and

> God needs nothing at all. Therefore, WE need nothing at all, and the

> idea that we need something or someone to be happy is an illusion.

>

>

> Only when we understand that there is nothing that we need to be

truly

> happy can we begin to love another in the highest way, in the

highest

> sense. Only then can we see that the relationship of Love was given

to

> us as a gift, not so that we may RECEIVE something, but so that we

may

> GIVE something. For it is in the GIVING of Who We Really Are that we

> experience it.

>

> And the purpose of all of Life is exactly that: to experience Who We

> Really Are.

>

> God has created Life so that God may experience Itself.

>

> That simple and single sentence explains it all. It makes everything

> really very easy to understand. Now, here is how to step out of the

> Illusion of Need, and to recreate Love in a way that allows you to

> experience it without expecting anything from your beloved:

>

> Make EVERYONE your beloved. Make every ONE and every THING your

> beloved.

>

> Go through Life with one objective and one purpose only: to give

love

> to everything and everyone.

>

> If you do this, you will be so happy by the end of one week that

> everyone will think you are on drugs. They will wonder what has

> happened to you, what you are " taking " that is making you so crazy.

>

> Loving everyone and everything may not be as easy as it sounds. It

> will require you to let go of every one of your judgments. You will

> have to see everyone and everything as beautiful. I always like to

> say, " You will have to learn to love spinach. " I always think that

if

> you can learn to love over-cooked spinach, you can love anything.

>

> Do you know what I mean?

>

> So practice with yourself. That is a good place to begin. In fact,

> that is the ONLY place you can begin. Because if you cannot love

> yourself,utterly and completely, you cannot love anyone or anything

> else. All failure to love another, fully and freely, is nothing more

> than a form of self-loathing. Only when we stop loathing ourselves,

> or any PART of ourselves, can we begin to stop loathing another.

>

> The end of self-loathing begins with self-acceptance. We must look

at

> ourselves completely and accept ourselves absolutely. We must

embrace

> every bit of ourselves, even our dark side, even our selfish side,

> even our " needy " side, even our angry and violent side. Only love

can

> heal these wounds. Only love can make them go away. But this love

will

> not come from another person. If you depend on another person's love

> to be healed then it again a NEED. This love has to come from within

> yourself for yourself. What you resist, persists. What you look at

> disappears. It ceases to have its illusory form.

>

> So begin your journey to non-expecting love by looking at your SELF

in

> the mirror, and stop expecting things from your SELF. That is the

> first step. It is the biggest step.

>

> Now the only way that you will ever be able to stop expecting things

> from your Self is to stop imaging that there is someone ELSE,

someone

> higher than you, someone above you (such as a parent, or God), who

> has a right to expect things from YOU.

>

> You see, it is our idea that God expects things from us --- things

> that are so huge and so big that we cannot possibly give those

things

> to Him - that sets up the dynamic of all human relationships. This

is

> what we call Love. We have called Expectation " love " because we have

> been taught that this is what Love is. Every religion on the planet

> tells us this. Love EXPECTS THINGS. Doesn't God? And isn't it said

> that God loves us?

>

> So there you have it. In order to stop expecting things from the

> people you love, you are going to have to stop imagining a God who

> expects things from you.

>

> So let us stand in front of that mirror, and say to ourselves, " I

> love you. I see Who You Really Are, and I love you without

> expectation. I accept you as a thing of Perfection and Beauty, just

> exactly the way you are. "

>

> This is how God accepts us. In truth, this is how God accepts all of

> us. And never let anyone ever tell you anything different.

>

> Now, after doing this Mirror Exercise for three or four weeks, you

are

> ready to go out and try it with the world. What you will be doing is

> MAKING THE WORLD YOUR MIRROR. Simply give to the world the Love you

> are so wanting to give to yourself. Give your love to everyone and

> everything. Soon, you will feel love starting to come back to you.

>

> Expect nothing, and give everything, and watch yourself falling in

> love, for the first time, without expectation. It will be the wonder

> of your life. And you will become the Wonder in everyone else's

life.

> You will be FULL of wonder. And everyone will say that you are

WONDER-

> FULL.

>

> And this will be not a new thing that is true about you, but

something

> that has been true about you from the very beginning --- yet

something

> you forgot, until now.

>

> Spend your time not looking for love, but looking for someone who is

> looking for love (that means everyone). Then give them all the love

> for which they are looking. As you give, so shall you receive.

>

> You may not receive love back from that particular person, but you

> will receive it from the universe. You cannot WANT to receive love

> back from that particular person, or you are not truly loving them

> without expectation. You see?

>

>

> So the trick is to love without requiring anything in return from

that

> particular person.

>

>

> This does not mean, by the way, that we should stay in abusive

> relationships, or remain in an exclusive relationship with someone

> that we love without getting anything back. If this is happening to

> you, you must then change the nature of your relationship of love,

> and move far enough away, in the physical sense, that it no longer

> demands of you any sort of exclusivity -- which means limitation.

> Because if you are limited to loving someone who does not know how

to

> love you, you will never experience being loved. We all deserve that

> experience. This is not the same as expecting something in return.

> This is simply creating life in a way that allows what goes around

to

> come around. If you have closed yourself in to a relationship that

> stops your own love from coming back to you, open up that

> relationship by creating space within it for you to receive your own

> love back through the world, and the other people, around you.

>

> This doesn't mean that you stop loving the person you have been

with.

> Nor does it mean that you are loving with expectation. It merely

means

> that, as you continue to love the person you have been with, you

> decide not to LIMIT your love to that person by continuing to be in

a

> closed, exclusive relationship. It means not that you stop loving,

> but that you CHANGE THE NATURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP so that you may

> love others we well, and perhaps even find another through whom your

> own love for the world can flow back to you!

>

> Non-expectation is the key. And we all can get there. Yet the

journey

> is challenging. But love is worth the challenge. Love is God. Live

in

> Love.

>

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