The practice of Loving Kindness

October 27, 2009

" The practice of Loving Kindness was first taught by Buddha as an antidote tofear. He sent a group of monks to meditate in a forest that was inhabited bytree spirits. The spirits resented the presence of the monks and tried to drive

them away by appearing as horrible visions. The monks were terrified and ranback to Buddha, begging him to send them to a different forest. He said; 'I amgoing to send you back to the forest, but I will provide you with the only

protection you need.' He then gave the first teaching on metta, loving-kindness.When the monks returned to the forest and practiced loving-kindness, the treespirits were so moved by the loving energy that filled the forest that they

resolved to care for and serve the monks in whatever way they could. " —SogyalRinpocheAll the great spiritual traditions emphasize the need for compassion andunconditional love. Buddhists call this " boddichitta " --the awakened heart--which

is the aspiration for others to be happy and free from suffering. It is theessence of enlightenment, the heart of enlightened activity. True compassion iscalled the " wish-fulfilling jewel " because it has the power to give each person

precisely what he or she most needs to release suffering and be happy. But howcan you cultivate it? Here are some traditional methods for practicing lovingkindness:Develop an attitude of equanimity. Practice going beyond your fixed ideas of

friends and enemies. The idea is to develop a sense of spaciousness, letting goof rigid ideas. Over the years, anyone who has once been an enemy may now haveturned into a friend, and vice-versa. Everything is impermanent and constantly

changing. Step back and observe the dance of life with detachment. This lays theground for the practice of loving kindness.Reflect on the kindness of others. This will help you see the positive side ofany situation, regardless of how difficult. Contemplate what other people have

done for you in both large and small ways. Focus on a specific friend or familymember, and remember all the good they have done. You might want to begin byremembering the love and devotion of your mother or father or grandparents, and

then move on to everyone you know. If you are open to the idea of reincarnation,consider that anyone could have been your mother, father, sister or brother in aprevious life, so reflect on how they might have nurtured and supported you.

Remember an experience of love that someone gave you. Reflect on how it reallymoved you. Remember vividly that feeling of love and let it arise again in yourheart, filling you with gratitude. Let your heart open and allow your love to

flow out to others. See yourself unsealing a spring of love within you thatflows out to friends, family, neighbors, all those you like, all those youdislike, to every person around the world, and to all sentient beings. Let your

love deepen and become boundless.Repay the kindness of others. Take the perspective that many, many people (aswell as many plants, animals, etc.) have helped you. Everyone you meet may havehelped you in some way, directly or indirectly. Every encounter becomes an

opportunity to repay someone's kindness. This attitude can change your life.Traditionally, it's called " the great activity " because it is so vast that it'sdifficult to imagine.Contemplate the positive qualities of others. If you care for someone, you

naturally see their delightful qualities and usually ignore their negativequalities. Extend this perspective to everyone, one person at a time. Generateloving kindness towards each person and the wish for him or her to be happy.

This can help transform negative emotions such as anger or jealousy.Consider others the same as yourself. Reflect on another person, not in theirrole as a relative or friend, but simply as another " you " , with the same

feelings as you--the same desire for happiness, the same fear of suffering. Thiswill give you greater insight into how to truly help someone. It will also aidin opening up your relationships and giving them deeper meaning.

Meditate on compassion. Contemplate on both the essence and expression ofcompassion. Reflect on the benefits of compassion and the effects of itsopposite. See compassion as empathy, based on understanding the universal nature

of suffering. Each of us suffers when our ego is self-centered and grasping.Offer a blessing of kindness to all who suffer, helping them transform theirpain, and awaken to the boundless love that dwells within their own heart.

Loving-kindness meditation can be brought in to support the practice of 'bareattention' to help keep the mind open and sweet. It provides the essentialbalance to support your insight meditation practice.

It is a fact of life that many people are troubled by difficult emotional statesin the pressured societies we live in, but do little in terms of developingskills to deal with them. Yet even when the mind goes sour it is within most

people's capacity to arouse positive feelings to sweeten it. Loving-kindness isa meditation practice taught by the Buddha to develop the mental habit ofselfless or altruistic love. In the Dhammapada can be found the saying: " Hatred

cannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if supplanted with thoughtsbased on loving-kindness. " Loving-kindness is a meditation practice, which brings about positiveattitudinal changes as it systematically develops the quality of

'loving-acceptance'. It acts, as it were, as a form of self-psychotherapy, a wayof healing the troubled mind to free it from its pain and confusion. Of allBuddhist meditations, loving-kindness has the immediate benefit of sweetening

and changing old habituated negative patterns of mind.To put it into its context, Loving-kindness is the first of a series ofmeditations that produce four qualities of love: Friendliness (metta),Compassion (karuna), Appreciative Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). The

quality of 'friendliness' is expressed as warmth that reaches out and embracesothers. When loving-kindness practice matures it naturally overflows intocompassion, as one empathises with other people's difficulties; on the other

hand one needs to be wary of pity, as its near enemy, as it merely mimics thequality of concern without empathy. The positive expression of empathy is anappreciation of other people's good qualities or good fortune, or appreciative

joy, rather than feelings of jealousy towards them. This series of meditationscomes to maturity as 'on-looking equanimity'. This 'engaged equanimity' must becultivated within the context of this series of meditations, or there is a risk

of it manifesting as its near enemy, indifference or aloofness. So, ultimatelyyou remain kindly disposed and caring toward everybody with an equal spread ofloving feelings and acceptance in all situations and relationships.

How to do it . . .The practice always begins with developing a loving acceptance of yourself. Ifresistance is experienced then it indicates that feelings of unworthiness arepresent. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practice itself

is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Then you areready to systematically develop loving-kindness towards others.Four Types of Persons to develop loving-kindness towards:• a respected, beloved person - such as a spiritual teacher;

• a dearly beloved - which could be a close family member or friend;• a neutral person - somebody you know, but have no special feelings towards,e.g.: a person who serves you in a shop;• a hostile person - someone you are currently having difficulty with.

Starting with yourself, then systematically sending loving-kindness from personto person in the above order will have the effect of breaking down the barriersbetween the four types of people and yourself. This will have the effect of

breaking down the divisions within your own mind, the source of much of theconflict we experience. If you are practicing intensively, just a word ofcaution, it is best if you choose a member of the same sex or, if you have a

sexual bias to your own sex, a person of the opposite sex. This is because ofthe risk that the near enemy of loving-kindness, lust, can be aroused. Trydifferent people to practice on, as some people do not easily fit into the above

categories, but do try to keep to the prescribed order.Ways of arousing feelings of loving-kindness:1. Visualization - Bring up a mental picture. See yourself or the person thefeeling is directed at smiling back at you or just being joyous.

2. By reflection - Reflect on the positive qualities of a person and the acts ofkindness they have done. And to yourself, making an affirmation, a positivestatement about yourself, using your own words.3. Auditory - This is the simplest way but probably the most effective. Repeat

an internalized mantra or phrase such as 'loving-kindness'.The visualizations, reflections and the repetition of loving-kindness aredevices to help you arouse positive feelings of loving-kindness. You can use all

of them or one that works best for you. When the positive feeling arise, switchfrom the devices to the feeling, as it is the feeling that is the primary focus.Keep the mind fixed on the feeling, if it strays bring it back to the device, or

if the feelings weaken or are lost then return to the device, i.e. use thevisualisation to bring back or strengthen the feeling.The second stage is Directional Pervasion where you systematically project the

aroused feeling of loving-kindness to all points of the compass: north, south,east and west, up and down, and all around. This directional pervasion will beenhanced by bringing to mind loving friends and like-minded communities you know

in the cities, towns and countries around the world.Non-specific Pervasion tends to spontaneously happen as the practice matures. Itis not discriminating. It has no specific object and involves just naturally

radiating feelings of universal love. When it arises the practice has then cometo maturity in that it has changed particular, preferential love, which is anattached love, to an all-embracing unconditional love!

Loving-kindness is a heart meditation and should not to be seen as just a formalsitting practice removed from everyday life. So take your good vibes outsideinto the streets, at home, at work and into your relationships. Applying the

practice to daily life is a matter of directing a friendly attitude and havingopenness toward everybody you relate to, without discrimination.There are as many different ways of doing it as there are levels of intensity in

the practice. This introduction is intended to help you familiarize yourselfwith the basic technique, so that you can become established in the practicebefore going on, if you wish, to the deeper, systematic practice - to the level

of meditative absorption.May you be happy hearted!

.. -- " O Shirdi Sai Nath, Give me the guidance to know when to hold on and when to let go and the Grace to make right decision with dignity "

" The Future Belongs To Those Who Believe In The Beauty Of Their Dreams " Om Sai Ram~ anil - chandrot ~