Guest guest Posted October 29, 2009 Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 ---------- Forwarded message ----------അനിലàµâ€ I Anil <chandrot2009/10/29 Put away the Hammeranilchandrot Put away the HammerNo toolkit is complete without a hammer and a hammer is a great tool forforcing objects into places where they ordinarily would not go. This works finewith nails and boards, but when we try to use them to get our mates to do something or be something they are not, trouble looms near. Marriage hammerscome in all forms. Sometimes we use withdrawal hammers. Rather than discussinga problem and trying to see each other's perspective, we try to force our will on the other person by retreating into our cave until our partner sees thelight, which of course is usually our side of the situation. You interact justenough with your partner to remain civil and get the business of the family done, but not enough to nurture and promote intimacy, the living water of ahealthy marriage relationship.We also use words as hammers to drive our mates to fit our preconceived imagesabout marriage and what a wonderful mate looks like. We all carry around these images in our heads and in some case our subconscious mind. We think toourselves: " If my husband or wife would only....... " Usually we fill in theblank with a behavior or attitude we want them to have.  When we use words as hammers to try to change our partners, very rarely do the words affirm,encourage, nurture, or support who they are. Instead the words become subtleput downs, criticisms, and attacks on the person's sense of self. If you are the person sending the word hammers, you don't see anything wrong with whatyou're doing. Maybe you saw one of your parents use words this way. But ifyou’re on the receiving end of those hammers, before long you start feeling that you don't quite measure up.The objects in a toolkit are designed to modify and change things. But when itcomes to people, tools don't work, especially hammers. So the next time youfeel the urge to hurl a negative comment at your spouse, remember that you maybe trying to rebuild someone that God designed just right in the first place  -- " O Shirdi Sai Nath, Give me the guidance to know when to hold on and when to let go and the Grace to make right decision with dignity " " The Future Belongs To Those Who Believe In The Beauty Of Their Dreams " Om Sai Ram~Anil - chandrot~ -- " O Shirdi Sai Nath, Give me the guidance to know when to hold on and when to let go and the Grace to make right decision with dignity " " The Future Belongs To Those Who Believe In The Beauty Of Their Dreams " Om Sai Ram~ anil - chandrot ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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