We all need these!

[Guest guest]

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework,

or a spouse to complete his project, or a love to complain less and

act more. How can we encourage without criticizing, berating or

pushing too hard?

 

Here are three techniques that can help you nudge without nagging.

 

* Show appreciation.

 

Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the

extraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting the

publisher's office, Bennett asked her: " Your boss claims you're

extremely efficient. What's your secret? "

 

" It's not my secret, " said the assistant, " it's his. " She went on to

tell him that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everything

she did, regardless how insignificant. That was why she worked so hard

for him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her toward constant improvement.

 

* If possible, keep it light-hearted.

 

The careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudging

may be required. One wife used it effectively when she found herself

on the verge of nagging her husband to repair the lawn mower. He had

promised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while he

procrastinated.

 

Then one day he came home and found her seated on the ground snipping

grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in

amazement and then went into the house. When he returned, he handed

her a toothbrush. " Honey, " he said, " when you finish cutting the grass

would you mind sweeping the sidewalks? "

 

They both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.

 

* Be polite and respectful.

 

Sometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. People

respond best when they are respected and valued.

 

Elizabeth Harrison stated, " Those who are lifting the world upward and

onward are those who encourage more than criticize. " Try these simple

techniques next time you want to nudge without nagging.