Devotee's Experience - Contributed by Renu

[Guest guest]

Devotee's Experience - Contributed by Renu

 

 

SAI RAM.

 

Hello.. My name is Renu and today I am going to share

something that I will never forget as long as I'm

alive. We are a very happy family, mother, father,

sister and myself. We are all highly spiritual and

god-fearing and believer in SaiBaba. To me, SaiBaba is

more than just God. He is my friend and only companion

for anything. I used to talk and cry to Him whenever

there were problems. My mother was very sick... and

every time her condition became worse, I used to chat

Baba's name repeatedly, apply udi on my amma's

forehead and chest.

 

I used to sing Baba's songs in faith that my amma

would become all right... maybe it was because of

Baba's grace that she survived many times... but..

march 30th, we admitted her in the hospital due to

grave conditions... they kept her in the ICU and did

not allow me, my sis or my appa to see her also. we

were worried a lot.. I wanted her to survive.. I loved

her a lot.. all the faith that I have today is only

because of her upbringing. Evening went and I last saw

her at 7:15. I was outside and crying and praying to

Baba to make a miracle happen that day... I was

singing His song... I always have Baba's photo with

me.. I asked the nurse to keep baba's photo under the

pillow on my mother's bed and she did.. while I was

praying outside the ICU, there was another relative

for someone in the ICU and seeing me chanting and

singing Baba's songs, he came up to me and gave me

Baba's udi and told me not to fear.. I thought this

was an indication that my mother had Baba's blessings

and that she was going to get better. I kept the udi

packet in my left hand with my fist closed. I did not

remove it at all.. I did not move my fingers too.

 

Night came and at 11:05 my mother was dying... the

doctors called us and said that her brain has

failed... I cried to him and then no news at all....

the doctors closed the ICU and did not allow us to see

her. Throughout the night I prayed, cried and begged

Baba for help for my amma. Early morning between 2:30

and 3:00, I was thinking of Baba very deeply in my

mind and was wanting for some miracle to happen... and

glory to Him.... I saw him... I was able to see Baba

in orange dress walking up the staircase with a stick

in His hand and looking slowly at each step as He

climbed up... and then He turned towards me and walked

towards me... I was over confident that my mother is

going to experience a miracle and I'll get her back..

but that did not happen... I lost her... I was

shattered... for a few minutes, I even thought Baba

ditched me.... but I can't even think that way..

because I don't have anybody else also... so again I

went back to him.... and I told myself.. maybe my

mother was lucky.. Baba himself came to take her with

Him. She was lucky. I keep telling myself that Baba's

udi and His photo under her pillow did this.

 

Yes.. I lost my mother and even as I'm typing this

experience I am crying for 2 reasons... one because I

lost her forever... my beloved mother.. my chellam...

but another reason because I was able to see Baba...

I'm crying with the feeling that Baba graced me and my

mother.. He showed His darshan to me.. he loves me I

know that... he will love me... and I love him too.

 

I am not old enough to comment about any principles or

sayings... but I know that anyone who believes in Him

strongly... He will show up and maybe He may not

always grant us what we ask for... but He'll be there

with us.. for us..

 

I love you Baba.

 

Renu