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The God Who Loves You -- Carl Dennis

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The God Who Loves You

 

It must be troubling for the god who loves youTo ponder how much happier you'd be todayHad you been able to glimpse your many futures.It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings

Driving home from the office, content with your week—Three fine houses sold to deserving families—Knowing as he does exactly what would have happenedHad you gone to your second choice for college,Knowing the roommate you'd have been allotted

Whose ardent opinions on painting and music Would have kindled in you a lifelong passion.A life thirty points above the life you're livingOn any scale of satisfaction. And every point A thorn in the side of the god who loves you.

You don't want that, a large-souled man like youWho tries to withhold from your wife the day's disappointmentsSo she can save her empathy for the children.And would you want this god to compare your wife

With the woman you were destined to meet on the other campus?It hurts you to think of him ranking the conversationYou'd have enjoyed over there higher in insightThan the conversation you're used to.

And think how this loving god would feelKnowing that the man next in line for your wifeWould have pleased her more than you ever willEven on your best days, when you really try.Can you sleep at night believing a god like that

Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternativesYou're spared by ignorance? The difference between what isAnd what could have been will remain alive for himEven after you cease existing, after you catch a chill

Running out in the snow for the morning paper,Losing eleven years that the god who loves youWill feel compelled to imagine scene by sceneUnless you come to the rescue by imagining himNo wiser than you are, no god at all, only a friend

No closer than the actual friend you made at college,The one you haven't written in months. Sit down tonightAnd write him about the life you can talk aboutWith a claim to authority, the life you've witnessed,

Which for all you know is the life you've chosen.

 

~ Carl Dennis ~

 

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