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Your First Mahashivaratri

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Do you remember your first Mahashivaratri?

 

Mine was in the Hindu Temple in Flushing, Queens, NY. I was 39 years old. I was

getting ready to go the live in an ashram the following November. I had no idea

what I was supposed to do for the feast so I chanted Om Namah Shivaya all night

and watched all the pujas. I knew somehow -- maybe the pujari explained -- that

at the midnight puja they would do a special chant to welcome all the new

swamis, the people who had taken vows of renunciation on that night, the

traditional time to do that. Then they chanted the same chant they say when

Amma enters the hall everywhere --

 

Na karmanaa na prajayaa dhanena

tyage naike amritatwa maa nashuh

 

Not by action or progeny or gifts but only by renunciation is immortality

attained.

 

I've never forgotten that first Mahashivaratri. As the night wore on, I became

more and more calm. I noticed that my fear and anxiety were gone and I

understood that they were feelings I put on like a coat. I decided not to put

them on again.

 

At the end of the night as the sun came up, it began to snow just a little. It

was as though the world was getting a slight dusting of vihuti.

 

The next day I locked myself out of my apartment and decided that some

anxiety--such as about not forgetting the keys -- had its usefulness.

 

What was your first Mahashivatratri like?

 

Aikya

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