Service and Understanding

[Guest guest]

> They are not encouraged to fraternize with those in the world, even

>their own families.

 

There is a very good reason for it. That is to forestall painful

situations like yours!

 

But he disregarded this, and you did too. Now you are blaming Amma

for not interfering with your choices, and even projecting your

responsibility onto her. What you've written above underlines what we

know from her teachings: that Amma would not push a brahmachari to

break vows.

 

I'm truly sorry that you have gone through such pain. Something like

this happened to a woman very close to me, who fell in love with a

Catholic priest, and he with her, but his superiors sent him back to

his homeland, and he complied.

 

I've spent time meditating about all this, and i pray for your

healing and peace of mind. As the saying goes, your heart was broken,

but it will grow back.

 

Stacy(sgarage) said something profound, that everything is Prasaad. I

think of such experiences as Bhairavi Prasaad, because they tear

through our lives and are ravaging. My own illness certainly was, and

i never got any direct advice from Amma during the time i was

suffering. It was sometimes painful when people would give satsangs

and say, Amma told me this, and gave me that, and advised such and

such. Sometimes we are thrown back on our own resources, and have to

cry to Kali, to open up new channels for nectar to flow.

 

What i learned was that Bhairavi is also Bhagamalini -- Bhanu

mandalaa Madhyastaa Bhairavi Bhagamaalini (in the Lalitaa

Sahasranaama) --and so there is grace and growth to be had even from

such dark-night-of-the-soul experiences. May it be so for you.

 

jai Maa

Max