The swami's river

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The swami's river

 

Amma's hugs are free but nothing else is

 

By MIKE STROBEL

 

Last Updated: 17th July 2009, 5:01am

 

What's with that Hugging Saint? Is she just squishy? Or is something fishy?

 

You know her, of course.

 

Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi.

 

Her North American tour stops at a Richmond Hill hotel July 20. People will line

up for hours to get a hug from her.

 

The Mother of Immortal Bliss.

 

Amma, for short. The Hugging Saint.

 

She's also called the Divine Mother, which worries me. Nothing good ever comes

of humans playing God.

 

But where's the harm in a hug?

 

Amma, 55, has dispensed nearly 26 million of them since she was 18. That's 1,925

hugs a day, every day, all over the world.

 

And they wonder how swine flu got pandemic.

 

Just kidding. Hugs are healthy. They trigger the " cuddle hormone, " oxytocin,

which helps your blood pressure, among other things. Plus, beta-endorphin and

dopamine, which make your brain happy.

 

The effect is magnified when everyone around you is freshly hugged, or about to

be.

 

Why do you think group hugs were all the rage?

 

Anyone can hug, except the pathologically antisocial, so what's so special about

Amma's embrace?

 

I ask a Toronto devotee, Jonathan " Rishi " Gerald, 39.

 

" It's like getting hugs from 1,000 grandmas combined, " says Rishi.

 

Holy cow. Suddenly, I feel warm and cinnamony.

 

All those free hugs.

 

But I wonder where Amma gets the millions required to travel the world and run

her far-flung empire.

 

She has temples all over India and branches in 33 lands.

 

Her main centres are in California, Barcelona, Paris, Frankfurt, Tokyo,

Melbourne and the Indian Ocean isle of Mauritius.

 

She claims millions of devotees, many of whom live in ashrams. The newest is a

farm near Georgetown.

 

Sure the hugs are free, but...

 

There are donation boxes. And if you want to stay for the two-day retreat, it's

$345.

 

Or you can buy Amma's books, of which there are dozens, with such titles as

Eternal Wisdom and Awaken, Children. Her shop also offers CDs, DVDs, calendars,

greeting cards.

 

And photographs. Of Amma chopping onions, " thoughtfully gazing " or swimming. Of

Amma's feet. You can even buy an image of Jesus Christ for $2.

 

Look out, Oprah.

 

Amma has her own slick TV network, with an Eastern spiritual slant. Trancing

With the Stars? How I Met Your Yogi? Desperate Swamis? Zen and the City? Last

Mystic Standing? (Oh, stop, Mikey, you cynic.)

 

And she has a glossy magazine called Eternal Bliss.

 

She has a line of clothing, oils, handbags, shawls, scarves, statues, jewels,

baseball caps, even a " Pray and Serve " licence plate frame.

 

Best of all, for $180, there's an Amma doll. Very huggable.

 

Want to do more? Amma's website helpfully tells you how to donate your house or

your estate.

 

No, we won't be holding any red-tag sales for the Hugging Saint. She's a smart,

though cuddly, cookie.

 

Let's let her run Chrysler.

 

Her non-profit corporation spends millions on tsunami and poverty relief and the

like.

 

Rishi tells me local devotees run soup kitchens and volunteer at shelters.

 

But critics and ex-devotee groups scoff at " Ammabots " and question where all the

money goes.

 

Let's not quibble. The Hugging Saint has found a niche and is working it.

 

Who couldn't use a hug in this crazy, mixed-up world?

 

There's that God thing, though.

 

I ask Rishi, who seems quite sane: Do you really think she's a god?

 

" When you print that, it looks scary.

 

" But I do. To me, she's much more than a saint.

 

" She is the closest portal we have to a God-like state. "

 

I don't know about that, but I like her schtick.

 

In that spirit, I offer my own services. Today, at Betty's bar, I will hug

anyone who asks. For free. No need to buy a doll or a keychain.

 

Or, if you prefer, I will pat you on the head, clasp your hand, slap you on the

behind, clap you on the back, squeeze your cheek, or cootchie-coo your chin.

 

If that doesn't get your happy hormones flowing, you're past all help.

 

Oh, and listen, if I'm not there, don't wait.

 

Hug each other, my children.

 

MIKE.STROBEL OR 416-947-2265.

 

 

The above piece appeared in the Toronto Sun, a tabloid that has thumbed its nose

at liberals, feminists and PC do-gooders for decades. Fortunately veteran Sun

cold warrior columnist Lubor J. Zink is no longer alive to label Amma a

Moscow-toadying pinko.

 

Keval