to temba, via marci, about positive changes

[Guest guest]

Dear temba ~ ditto what marci said. I also grew up abused, and when my

father died, we had made peace. When my mother died it was after a period of

prolonged estrangement, and my heart still aches from that. It is wonderful to

hear about the positive affects that Obama's election has had on so many people,

including the intimate level of this group. The blessings just continue to

unfold, and I can't imagine not sharing them.

~ Linda

 

 

marci wrote:

 

dear Temba....i am in tears from reading about what you wrote about your

Mom. . .how precious your Mom found the opening of heart to let in her dear

son. . . beautiful and so precious and surely that was Amma's divine grace

and all the growth and light that you have grown into since you came to your

spiritual Mother. . . .sorry you went through abuse. . .but so happy you

have landed in Amma's lap. . .

Aum Amriteswarayi Namaha

 

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[Guest guest]

Namaste

 

I have a Amma story about this subject matter. . .and it is that i hold

most tender in my own heart as to Amma's vast love. . .even thinking

about writing it i tear at Her mercy. . .

 

i too grew up in a home that had lots of abuse from my Dad. . .he was a

wounded man and he was a good man that was known as the Best Moral Man

of Donley County. . .he used his fist and was an had an inability to

contain his anger. . .he was explosive. . .without going into details. .

..he would often kill my pet animals as a means to silence my voice. . .

and i was and still am a true love of all animals. . .i spent a number

of years working through my stuff and and can truly say i am grateful

for all of it for it left me with deep enough holes that only God can

fill. . . Initiating from those wounds i truly searched for Amma. . .

after sorting through the abuse made the decision i needed and wanted

to speak to my Dad about the abuse. . . took the trip home and found him

sitting alone on the porch. . .Told him with gentleness and respect that

i had come home to speak forth that which was never to be spoken. . .at

first he braced up and i thought he was going to strike me with his

cane. . .and then he fell back into his chair and started weeping. . .he

said for the last seven years he had gone out to the work shed and

sanded furniture and all he had seen during that time were the images

of the horrific abuse that he had done. . .(my Dad had a sun stroke

while trying to kill my last horse because he feared i would reveal the

darkness of the past). . .so once he was blind he began to see the

horrible images of being an abuser. . .He cried and told me about the

images and how he felt like he was possessed by the Devil during those

times and how he could not ask me to forgive him. . .for not even God

could forgive him. . .Hearing those words my heart cracked open and i

knew there was only love for my Dad. . .I told him " this day i have

forgiven you, and i know that God is so much greater than i am and God

too will forgive you. " . . .I told my Dad for the first time that I loved

him and for the first time that day my Dad told me he loved me. . .it

was such healing and from that day on my Dad was truly changed for he

started coming into his heart and became a humble man. . . .There is so

very much healing in forgiveness. . .

 

Then he made his transition in 1990 and in 2003 i met Amma. . . .One

evening was meditating and could feel the presence of Amma. . . then

was shown an image of my Dad and it was like he was between worlds and

was so very alone. . .the image was of him sitting on a park bench all

alone. . .his body and hair was unkept and the finger nails where long

and curled. . .he sat alone in deep despair and was completely guilt

ridden. . . .When i saw the image. . .i prayed for Amma to please help

my Dad. . .and in a short while Michael Landon came walking up and

bended down and put his loving arms around my Dad. . .light was

transmitted and glowed and then the two of them walked off into the

light together. . .(Michael Landon was my Dad's favorite actor. . .he

always watched The Ponderosa, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway

to Heaven, those shows where probably the only touch of light that my

Dad let in on a regular basis, he was not a religious man). So

everything within me believes that Amma showed me the most profound

example of mercy, love, and forgiveness that i could ever know. . .and

when She made contact with him, She knew exactly what he would respond

to. . .Her heart was so loving and open to a man that had lived such a

brutal life and their was only compassion for the many years of

isolation and deep guilt and fear of God for what he had done. . .

 

Amma found him and lead him to the light. . .That is Amma and one of the

reasons i am so in love with Her . .

 

I eke abit for this is personal. . .but all that remains for me is

Amma's profound arms of love for my Dad. . .and may we always count the

ways of Amma's love in each of our lives. . .

 

Aum Amriteswaryai Namaha

marci

 

 

Ammachi , nierika wrote:

>

> Dear temba ~ ditto what marci said. I also grew up abused, and when my

> father died, we had made peace. When my mother died it was after a

period of

> prolonged estrangement, and my heart still aches from that. It is

wonderful to

> hear about the positive affects that Obama's election has had on so

many people,

> including the intimate level of this group. The blessings just

continue to

> unfold, and I can't imagine not sharing them.

> ~ Linda

>

>

> marci wrote:

>

> dear Temba....i am in tears from reading about what you wrote about

your

> Mom. . .how precious your Mom found the opening of heart to let in

her dear

> son. . . beautiful and so precious and surely that was Amma's divine

grace

> and all the growth and light that you have grown into since you came

to your

> spiritual Mother. . . .sorry you went through abuse. . .but so happy

you

> have landed in Amma's lap. . .

> Aum Amriteswarayi Namaha

>

> **************Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Showtimes, theaters, movie

news &

>

more!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212774565x1200812037/aol?\

redir=htt

> p://toolbar.aol.com/moviefone/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000001)

>

>

>