to Pranada about spiritual practices

[Guest guest]

Dear Pranada ~

You said so much of value, I am still pouring over in my heart and mind.

What you say about just witnessing the play of resistance being the better than

forcing oneself and then feeling not fully present was so much like what my

therapist and I were talking about this morning. He mentioned the witness after

talking to me about holding the resistant child in compassion. I told him

that when I am able to Witness, the compassion is already there. I'm not sure

if he understood because he comes from a more Christian/Buddhist perspective,

but he was definitely talking about being in the moment with whatever would

be going on within me or outside of me. But that is what I have found whenever

I have been able to do it ... of course, this is yet another thing that

cannot be forced. It's a tricky wicket ... to teach oneself/learn spiritual

habits when different parts of one's self are ready to throw a tantrum.

 

I liked what you said about 6:30 am being a good time. I am usually up by

5:30 or 6:00 am. I can't help it. I didn't used to wake this early, but my body

is getting me up. I believe it is working on giving me a gentle push

because, as I sit at the computer, reading and responding to digests, I often

think,

" well, you could be doing spiritual practices right now. " I am just at the

beginning of getting my altar set up ... finally ... and I will try this, if

only to light the lights and sit for a few moments at first. Thank you for so

candidly sharing your experience. Jai Jai Ma ~ Linda

 

 

 

Pranada wrote:

 

Please keep in mind that I am speaking as someone who has not at all

mastered the struggle (I think you're doing better than I am), but

here are some thoughts:

- Are you doing your sadhana at the same time every day? Amma has

emphasized the importance of setting a schedule and sticking to it.

This has the advantage of getting you into a rhythm of " six o'clock -

time to be at the altar and light the lamps! " . When you build up

that habit, it becomes more comfortable and automatic to just plunk

down at the altar and do the sadhana.

- It was suggested to me recently that it's a valuable sadhana just

to become more aware in every moment of whether I am feeling rooted

and expansive, or checked out and constricted. When I stay tuned in

in this way, I am more able to feel a genuine hunger to go and do

IAM meditation or chant the names, and enjoy the experience.

- I have also found it important to remember that Amma's love for us

is unconditional and that She wants us to experience real happiness.

If I am at my altar and I'm doing IAM and experiencing drudgery,

thinking of myself as lazy, and thinking that Amma will only approve

of me and love me if I can check off the sadhana to-do list for the

day, I'm not doing myself or my practice any favors. Instead, I'm in

such a constricted place that I'm only getting a fraction of the

benefit I could be getting from the practice. I might get more

spiritual nourishment from scrubbing the toilet, if while scrubbing

the toilet I'm singing bhajans and feeling real joy in my heart!

 

So, in a nutshell, I would say be gentle and loving with yourself,

and keep working on being mindful of what gives you joy and

spiritual nourishment, witnessing the thoughts that arise that try

to tell you that sadhana is not candy and you would rather be doing

something else. With me, the thought pattern sometimes boils down

to " I'm not worthy to feel that kind of joy, so I'll go and do

something more mindlessly entertaining. " I think we all have

variants on that sort of thing.

 

As you become more aware in the moment to moment, perhaps you will

find the place within yourself that says sadhana is the sweetest

candy of all!

 

 

 

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