To all married couples.

August 3, 2007

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand andsaid, "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly.Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. Shedidn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away thechopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I couldhardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovelygirl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. Sheglanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent tenyears of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for herwasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I hadsaid for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expectedto see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea ofdivorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer andclearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing somethingat the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fellasleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did notcare so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't wantanything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. Sherequested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal alife as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in amonth's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our brokenmarriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me torecall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out ofour bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was goingcrazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her oddrequest.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any bodycontact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when Icarried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our sonclapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words broughtme a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to thedoor, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyesand said softly; "don't tell our son about the divorce". I nodded,feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. Idrove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hairwas graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute Iwondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy wasgrowing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carryher as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all mydresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly ithit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in atthe moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing hisfather carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. Iturned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at thislast minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my necksoftly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like ourwedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I heldher in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. Iheld her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly withoutlocking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,

Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, Iwon't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and Ididn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love eachother any more. Now I realize that since I married her into my home onour wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart. Dewseemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed thedoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At thefloral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.

The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:I'll carry you out every morning until deaths do us apart.

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance thatmatters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannotgive happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friendand do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have areal happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, youjust might save a marriage.

August 4, 2007

Sarvam sivam, Dear Sir, This is a great thought. The need of the hour. Values of relationships are suffereing much because of carelessness the false assumption of having no time for relations. well thank you for the great lesson, that too from a knowledged and expereinced person like you. sivaya namaha sumi balu"P. Subramani" <subramani6912 wrote: To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand andsaid, "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly.Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. Shedidn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away thechopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man" That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our

marriage. But I couldhardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovelygirl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. Sheglanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent tenyears of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for herwasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I hadsaid for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expectedto see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea ofdivorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer andclearer now. The

next day, I came back home very late and found her writing somethingat the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fellasleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did notcare so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't wantanything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. Sherequested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal alife as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in amonth's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our brokenmarriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me torecall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.She

requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out ofour bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was goingcrazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her oddrequest. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any bodycontact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when Icarried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our sonclapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words broughtme a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to thedoor, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyesand said softly; "don't tell our son about the divorce". I nodded,feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. Idrove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hairwas graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute Iwondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy wasgrowing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carryher as the month

slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all mydresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly ithit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in atthe moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing hisfather carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. Iturned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at thislast minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the

bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my necksoftly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like ourwedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I heldher in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. Iheld her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly withoutlocking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, Iwon't divorce. My

marriage life was boring probably because she and Ididn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love eachother any more. Now I realize that since I married her into my home onour wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart. Dewseemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed thedoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At thefloral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:I'll carry you out every morning until deaths do us apart. The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance thatmatters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannotgive

happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friendand do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have areal happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, youjust might save a marriage.

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