More Vedic Humor

[Guest guest]

" Oh Arjuna,

 

" Among marbles I'm the Steely, among hip cats I'm Steve Jobs, among enforcers of

the law I'm Clint Eastwood, and among all things not advisable for those over

the age of 90 I'm the skate board... "

 

" ...Suffice it so say I am all this! But if you REALLY want to understand My

Supreme Powers and highest glories... Then check out this cool Swiss Army

Knife! "

 

" Know it for certain, Arjuna, that what ever is good and nice in the world is

but a reflection of my glories! And of what is bad and nasty in this world,

well, you can blame that geek in N. Korea with the funny hair style! "

 

Arjuna replied, " Oh Krishna! My illusion is now gone, and from now on I'll stop

breaking my head on friggen MS Windows and switch to using Mac computers! "

 

sacred-objects , Janardana Dasa <lightdweller wrote:

>

> I have never had a better laugh in the morning!!!!!!!! Laughter is truly the

best

medicine!!!!! I think in order to get this in its entirety you would have to be

a person well

versed in world history and well acquainted with American pop culture & history.

>

> How about, " among great runners I am Prefontaine " ? " Among womanizers

(20,000?) I

am Wilt the Stilt Chamberlain " " Among great organist I am Brian Auger " " among

guitar

players who never truly got their due I am Robin Trower "

>

> How about keeping this running!!!!!!!

> LOL!!!!

>

>

> Richard Shaw Brown <rsbj66 wrote:

> In the Hindu Bible, Srimad Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna,

>

> " Raso-aham-apsu kaunteya! " – I am the taste of water, …among animals

> I'm the lion, among birds I'm the eagle, among fish I'm the shark, and

> so on…

>

> Well, Krishna only gave a partial list, which could be updated like…

>

> Oh Arjuna, among rock bands I'm the Beatles, Among bad guys I'm Hitler,

> among fashion models I'm Twiggy, among Basketball players I'm Wilt the

> stilt,

>

> Among guns I'm the bazooka, among bombs I'm the H bomb, among great

> actors I'm a cross between Robert Di Nero & Al Pachino, among corny

> actors I'm Bombay Dev Anand,

>

> Among aging bades I'm Bridget Bardot, among left-wing commie pinko

> traitors I'm Jane Fonda, among fast food restaurants I'm Howard

> Johnsons, among things to avoid like the plague I'm the plague,

>

> Among bridges up-for-sale I'm the Brooklyn Bridge, among dogs I'm the

> son of Lassie & Rin Tin Tin, among golf players I'm the son of Ben

> Hogan and Tiger Woods' caddy, among spiders I'm the friggen Funnel

> Spider,

>

> Among smart directors I'm Tobe Hooper, Among wise-ass Vulcans I'm

> Spock, among lousy rock bands I'm the Move, among radical guitar

> players I'm Jimi Hendrix,

>

> Among bimbos I'm Brittany Spears, among playing cards I'm the Ace,

> among Motorcycles I'm Triumph, among brave soldiers I'm Audy Murphy,

>

> Among jokers I'm Cheech & Chong, among tenors I'm Mario Lanza, among

> jerks I'm Lyndon Johnson, among wackos I'm Charles Manson,

>

> Among big monkeys I'm King Kong, among Mexican knives I'm the switch

> blade, among Italian knives I'm the stilletto, among Ugandan knives I'm

> the machete,

>

> Among African-Americans I'm Rochester, among dick-heads to work for I'm

> Jack Benny, among non-lying Presidents I'm, I'm, ah, lets pass on this,

> among bystanders I'm Jack Ruby,

>

> Among monumental screw-ups I'm the partition of India into Pakistan,

> among airplanes I'm Air Force One, among racist groups I'm the Klu Klux

> Klan, as proof of a Masonic-Templar-Illuminati conspiracy I'm the $1

> bill,

>

> Among famous movie lines I'm: " Play it again, Sam! " , among horny

> bastards I'm a friggen mormon, among good jokes I'm the Polish Coyote,

> among bad jokes I'm the " knock knock " joke,

>

> Among Psychedelic music magazines I'm Ugly Things, among rock bands

> that SHOULD have " made it " I'm The Misunderstood, among poison gases

> I'm Sarin, among health foods I'm carrot juice,

>

> Among hoaxes perpetrated on the world I'm the Moon Walk, among the

> world's royalty I'm the King of Thailand, among good causes I'm Mother

> Teresa, among bad causes I'm terrorism,

>

> Among loud rock bands I'm Spinal Tap, among loud amp volumes I'm 11,

> among wild guitar players I'm Angus Young, among Las Vegas has-beens

> I'm Tom Jones,

>

> Among Las Vegas winners I'm the slot machine, among soft drinks I'm

> Cream Soda, among best-kept-secret Cool Scenes I'm Bangkok,

>

> Among Scientologists I'm Tom Cruise, among false prophets I'm Jim

> Jones, among hipster cops I'm Sonny Crockett, among absurd inventions

> I'm the pogo stick,

>

> Among Years I'm the leap year, among obnoxious surfers I'm Mickey Dora,

> among guilty SOBs I'm the illegitimate son of OJ Simpson and Mike

> Jackson, among bad movies I'm Chuck Norris's MIA,

>

> Among shit-out-of-luck ships I'm the Titanic, among those you don't

> want to piss off I'm Tony Jaa, among bad choices for a cell mate I'm

> A-Team's Mr. T, among sources of the truth I'm Deep Throat,

>

> Among disgraced comebacks I'm Pee Wee Herman, among heavyweight boxing

> champions I'm Rocky M., among nutcase big wave surfers I'm " Double D "

> (Derrick Dorner), among great fights I'm Leonard v/s Hearns, among

> lousy fights I'm Leonard v/s No Mas,

>

> Among dancers I'm Chubby Checker, among successful

> preposterous-nonsense books I'm Harry Potter, among radical surf spots

> I'm Jaws, among COOL songs I'm " Shapes of Things " by the Yardbirds,

>

> Among over-rated guitar players I'm Eric Clapton, among super guitar

> players I'm a toss up between Jeff Beck and his student Joe Satriani,

> among righteous surf conditions I'm 6 foot and glassy point break,

> among boards I'm the Phil Edwards model,

>

> Among great rubies that turned out to be spinels I'm the Timur, among

> astrologers who " just don't get it about gems & astrology " I'm Tom

> Hopke, among stolen treasures I'm the Crown Jewels of England, among

> bad tastes I'm caviar,

>

> Among attacks I'm D-Day, among great tastes I'm yummy Chocolate Peanut

> Butter Cup, among hated people I'm any IRS agent, among lawyers I'm Ken

> Starr, among mistakes I'm Viet Nam War,

>

> Among dead-as-a-doornail chicks I'm Lady Di, among things to avoid I'm

> an Ice Berg, among things not to give your kids to play with I'm

> plutonium, and among great cartoonists I'm Don Martin,

>

> Among aliens I'm THE Alien, among baby-boomers I'm the adopted Son of

> Alan Ginsberg & Richard Alpert, among gnarly massacres I'm Mai Lai,

> among good Indian sweets I'm Ras-gulla,

>

> Among super-heroes I'm The Hulk, among dumb-shit police I'm Serpico,

> among non-bullet-proof presidents I'm John Kennedy, among good deals

> I'm the Green Album,

>

> Among good reasons NOT to get born rich I'm J Paul Getty Jr., among

> dirt-bag generals I'm Westmoreland, among all pains in the neck I'm

> Elliot Ness, among sexy dudes I'm young Mel Gibson,

>

> Among ugly watches I'm Rado, among great inventions I'm the iPhone,

> Among awesome guitar solos I'm Jeff Beck on Mister Ur a Better Man than

> I, and among ALL idiotic creations ever on the face of the Earth I'm MS

> DOS.

>

> Catch My drift, Oh son of Kunti!?

>

> Now let's talk about My illusionary energy, Maya, i.e., Monika

> Lewinsky…

>

> Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.

>

>

>

>

>

>

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