Like, Misunderstood (thin slice = into the Army-PART2)

[Guest guest]

Meanwhile, out in the freezing-ass rain, it’s another kind of war. The

war on survival. My friggen survival.

 

We’re all marched in our socks onto a muddy parade ground. We’re asked

to spread arms length, in formation. Then a DI standing on a platform

orders us, ‘On your bellies!’ We all flop in the mud; then, ‘On you

backs!’ We all flop in the mud; then ‘on your side!’ We all flop in the

mud; then, ‘On your feet!’ We all stand up; then ‘on your bellies!’ We

all flop in the mud; then, ‘On you backs!’ We all flop in the mud; then

‘On your side!’ We all flop in the mud; then, ‘On your feet!’ We all

stand up… Hey, guess what happens next?

 

After 15 minutes of mud-flapping we’re ordered, ‘On your bellies! Now,

give me fifty!’ We all start doing pushups face down in the mud. It’s

pouring. The DIs are wearing ponchos to keep dry. ‘Know why you all

being punished?’ A DI barks out. ‘Cause Private Brown here, he don’t

wanna be good soldier!’

 

Sh*t! Just what I f**king need – this whole platoon wants to kick my

ass. Yeah, right! This is all my fault? I started this damn war? I

drafted you silly buggers? Anyway, is there really such a thing as a

‘good soldier?’ Solders kill people. Killing? Hey, read the Bible,

dude! Even God’s down on that sh*t!

 

Besides, I’m a vegetarian. I can’t friggen kill people! I mean, get

real! And my own life is too purposeful to simply toss away on any lost

cause. Others aren’t so forward thinking as I, and their bones

fertilize the Agent Orange disgraced Vietnam War. USSA, you done f**ked

up! Admit it, you chickenshits!

 

As Uncle Sam tries unsuccessfully to turn me into cannon fodder, back

at home my folks, Colonel and Betty Brown, sit in their living room

watching TV. Sh*t! It’s Vietnam War news. Images from real live HELL.

Mom looks at my Dad with a sorrowful face, then takes his hand and

squeezes it.

 

“Freedom of choice.” That’s what we’re fighting for! Right? OK, well I

choose not to kill people in Vietnam.

 

 

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