New book: My 1st meeting with India's President

[Guest guest]

CHAPTER 110: Meet President Giri

 

An oil lamp is burning and hundreds of bugs are buzzing around. I’m

seated on the floor listening to Gurudev.

 

‘Yes, I also once had such a test,’ he tells me. ‘It was hellish! They

forced a big pipe down my throat when I had bronchitis. Like dying,

almost.’

 

‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘It was more painful than the colitis. They had three

people holding me down. It was awful! Anyway, they want to operate.

What should I do, Gurudev?’

 

His eyes take on a golden-goose sparkle. ‘Now you are feeling better,

no? Well, first I have a mission for you. I need you and Gopesh to

visit Delhi again. I’m trying to get a grant from the UGC, but the

Chairman, Dr. Kothari, he won’t reply our request. I want you to go

meet him, if possible.’

 

‘Yes, Gurudev. When should we go?’

 

‘Vell, why not go tomorrow? You can meet with Mayor Gupta! Perhaps he

can help us, if need be.’

 

In Delhi a few days later, Gopesh and I have a meeting with Mayor

Gupta.

 

‘I don't know this Dr. Kothari,’ he tells us, ‘but University Grants

Commission I am knowing.’

 

I’m like, ‘UGC means University Grants Commission?’

 

Gupta smiles at my ignorance. ‘Yes, it is government organization. But

I do not know. Hmmm. Perhaps you can meet with my friend President

Giri. I can arrange a meeting for you. Are you prepared?’

 

The President of India? I think. Piece of cake! I already met Viv

Prince and he’s King of the whole friggen world. But that’s not what I

say. ‘Um, yes. I'm ready.’

 

‘Very good! So I will arrange it. My car will drive you. It is at

Rastrapati Bhavan. It used to be Viceroy's House, it is a very grand

building, you will see.’

 

The next day I’m seated in a black Ambassador car driving down the main

road leading to the huge red stone Rastrapati Bhavan, the Indian White

House. When we reach the gate we’re stopped by a guard. He checks a

list for my name. The list looks like it was printed on a printing

press. Wow! He waves us through.

 

On arrival I’m greeted and led by an aide down long hallways and

finally into the President's giant office. As I enter the office I see

a 75-year-old gentleman with white hair, dressed in white: India's

president. Whoa!

 

The President stands up as I approach, comes out from behind his big

desk, walks to meet me, and then bends over and touches my bare feet,

out of respect.

 

I’m totally embarrassed to have my feet touched by such a senior and

great man, and I try to stop him by moving back and putting a hand in

front of my feet. I blush and say, ‘Please, Your Excellency! You are a

great man, I am nothing.’

 

‘No, you are sadhu!’ President Giri replies. ‘You are everything!

Please take a seat.’

 

We sit together on a couch. You know, me and the Pres – just hanging

out with ‘the man’.

 

‘Your Excellency!’ I begin. ‘I am so honored to meet you. Thank you for

your time.’

 

He smiles. ‘Mayor Gupta ji has told me about your good works here in

our country. I am very pleased to meet you. So, how may I help you?’

 

I dive into my rap. ‘President Giri, you may know about our University

of Culture in Vrindavan.’

 

‘Yes, yes!’

 

‘Well, we need a grant from the UGC for special research work.’

 

The President smiles at me, ‘Yes, very good, so, what can I do?’

 

I charge forward. ‘My Gurudev has been unable to contact them. There is

one Dr. Kothari, he is the Chairman.’

 

‘Yes, I know him well,’ President Giri nods. ‘You want to meet him?’

 

‘Yes, Your Excellency, I have been unable to reach him.’

 

The President rings a bell on his desk and an aide comes running

quietly in.

 

‘I will write letter to him, and give you. Is that sufficient?’

 

‘Thank you, sir.’

 

President Giri switches gears. ‘Mayor Gupta also mentioned your health

was no good. Isn't it? Well I have one, my personal doctor, he is

homeopathic doctor, do you know homeopathy?’

 

I’m like, ‘No sir, but they want to operate so I'm ready to try

anything.’

 

The President turns to his aide. ‘Srinath, please write a letter of

introduction to Dr. Manas at Goal Market, that I request him to treat

this boy, I will cover any costs.’

 

The secretary nods. ‘Yes, sir!’

 

President Giri adds, ‘and please get Dr. Kothari on the line, I wish to

speak to him directly.’

 

I think: ‘Whoa! That badass Dr Kothari is going to sh*t his dhoti!’

 

The President turns back to me. ‘I'll ask Dr. Kothari to help you. But

in meantime please meet Dr. Manas, at Round Market. He may cure you; he

is very, very expert. Please go see him.’

 

I’m blown out. ‘Thank you, so much, Your Excellency. I don't know how

to thank you. I'll meet Dr. Manas today if he has time. Otherwise in

Vrindavan they want to cut, to operate, I can't imagine.’

 

President Giri smiles, full of warmth. ‘Well, don't worry. He will cure

you, I'm sure. Now if you have any more delay from Dr. Kothari please

contact me through my secretary, Srinath ji.’ He looks at Srinath,

like, ‘take good care of this dude’. ‘And kindly let me know about your

health after meeting my Doctor. I pray he can help you. He has always

helped keep me fit. He's very good.’

 

Meanwhile, just a few streets away at the US Embassy, Agents Arnet and

Scribble have a problem. They’ve searched and searched, and they can’t

locate my damn file. Go figger!

 

 

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