Unmasking Our Identity

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The Process

 

Whether or not a person is provided with an I-Card (identity card),

everyone has his or her own unique identity. The process of creating

our identity seems to begin with the issue of our birth-certificate

which provides the names of our parents as also the date and place of

our birth. Then comes our 'name', chosen with much care and interest

by elders reflecting their vision of child's future personality.

One's family and caste also play a role in the naming process. Later,

when we join the school, right from the junior classes onwards, we

are issued an I-Card, given a roll number and we begin to become

possessive about our identity. Nicknames that others give us also

become part of our self-identification (about some of our buddies,

all that we remember about them is their nick-name, and not

the 'real' name!). With the passage of time, as we go on gathering

our certificates of achievements in academic field or in sports or

music or drama or any other extra-curricular activities, we reinforce

our 'identity'. We generally take pride in it but at times also feel

bad for either our bad performance in some field or for not acquiring

some certificate which others have and we have missed.

 

Our identity is, thus, based on our nationality, language, hierarchy

of caste and so on. The work we do and the experience we gain through

it also add to our identity. If one is employed in a company, one

also gets one's employee-number, his bank-account number, his

insurance number and so on. A businessman may require another

identity in the form of a license to carry out his business under a

name. When we are admitted to a hospital or visit a doctor, there too

we get a patient-number. When we buy a computer, we are given a

customer-number and if we have an Internet account, we add another

tag--our email id. There is no end to our identities.

 

The process of creating an identity for oneself does not end here.

Our relationships with others also add to our sense of identity.

First we have a 'child' identity, then we acquire a boy or a girl

identity. Adulthood offers different sets of identities: a father or

a mother, or a brother-in-law or maternal uncle or paternal aunt or a

grandpa or a granny. There are also identities based on our

relationship with our province or the town we live in (like Chinese,

Assamese, Bengali and so on).

 

Our experiences in life also add to our identity. A person who goes

on encountering failures in life, develops a 'loser' identity, while

a person who goes on tasting success, gains a 'winner' identity.

These experiences in turn generate inferiority or superiority

complexes.

 

The Dichotomy

 

Sometimes the issue of our identity becomes even more complicated on

account of our hidden desires. We, then, are not what we appear to

be. What we are, in private, is different from what we appear before

others. We might gain a high reputation for being a member of an

organisation or for being the alumnus of a reputed institution but

our actions and life may not reflect the ideal for which the

institution stands. In other words, there may be a big gap between

our character and our reputation. There is also this problem of our

desire to behave like someone we admire or our desire to prove the

credentials we do not possess. This leads to contradiction in our

behaviour and actual personality. We might be wanting to appear to be

very self-sacrificing or loving but in reality it may be only a case

of ego-pampering.

 

As we wade through the mass of our identities, the question that nags

some of us is, 'Who are we?' 'What is our real identity?' 'Is there

something in us which is real, which never changes, which is the

bedrock of all our other pseudo-identities?' We run into these

queries about ourselves either when we are faced with some very

challenging situations such as death of a dear one or an instance of

great injustice and cruelty. Or, when one faces the threat of a

terminal disease like cancer or imminent death, one begins to wonder

as to what is life and death and hence wants to know one's real

identity.

 

In Search of Real Identity

 

According to spiritually illumined persons, to know oneself truly is

to unravel the very secret of life and death. What is that which

takes birth and dies? And why? This inquiry contains the seeds of

self-knowledge in its ultimate sense.

 

Sri Ramakrishna used to say that to try to find our identity is like

peeling off an onion. If you take a full-size onion, you first see

its dry reddish layer. Once you remove that you see another softer

layer, whitish-pink. When you remove this, another layer becomes

visible and it continues. And what remains at the end is nothing

precious! So is our real identity. It appears that it is hidden

beneath the heap of identities that we carry with us but the moment

you try to feel its presence, you find it nowhere. Does this mean

that at the core of our being, we are empty, non-existent? The great

seers of Upanishads say an emphatic 'no' to such an idea. Our real

identity is something positive. Our external identities are passing

and deluding. They come into being with our birth and disappear with

our death. To discover our real, unchanging identity, and not adding

to our temporary identities, is the purpose of human life. This core

identity is the source of all joy, knowledge and strength. Then what

about all these identities that we develop and carry with us?

Outlining the structure of human personality, says Swami Vivekananda,

 

'This human being is composed first of this external covering, the

body; second, the finer body, consisting of mind, intellect, and

egoism. Behind them is the real Self of man. We have seen that all

the qualities and powers of the gross body are borrowed from the

mind; and the mind, the finer body, borrows its powers and luminosity

from the soul, standing behind.'

 

All our assumed identities are thus related to 'external covering'

and the 'finer covering'--like the outer cloak and under- garment. In

other words, body-mind is the basis of all our identities. Of course

these identities confer on us our distinct status, an individuality.

But while this individuality has a functional importance, it is also

the source of our sorrow and problems as well. All our struggles,

competitions and heart-burns, our social and personal prestige are

born of these identities. And we are quite protective about

our 'individuality'. Observes Swamiji:

 

'Which state is my individuality? When I was a baby sprawling on the

floor trying to swallow my thumb? Was that the individuality I should

be sorry to lose? Fifty years hence I shall look upon this present

state and laugh, just as I [now] look upon the baby state. Which of

these individualities shall I keep?'

 

Does this rising above our individuality mean getting into a

monoculture where there will be no differences, no distinctions? Far

from it. The more we approach the centre, the more the radii meet. We

must try to recognise the divine thread that runs through us all, and

treat others as divine and not mere body-mind. This is how unity in

diversity can be practised.

 

The Phenomenon of Multiple Identities

 

Our identities influence our life by the way we respond to things of

the world. When a person acquires something, for example, he wants to

make it known to others, to affirm that he now 'possesses' it.

 

To create an identity means identification with something, gross or

abstract. When we identify ourselves as Mr or Mrs so and so, with

this or that it makes us different from others. This separateness

makes us respond in good or bad manner. In fact, it is the mind which

plays the central role in the whole process. Besides this, our

company too influences our identity. Says Sri Ramakrishna:

 

'It is all a question of the mind. Bondage and liberation are of the

mind alone. The mind will take the colour you dye it with. It is like

white clothes just returned from the laundry. . . They will take only

the colour you dip them in, whatever it may be. Haven't you noticed

that, if you read a little English, you at once begin to utter

English words: Foot fut it mit? Then you put on boots and whistle a

tune, and so on. It all goes together. . . If you are in bad company,

then you will talk and think like your companions. On the other hand,

when you are in the company of devotees, you will think and talk only

of God.'

 

Our identification with body-mind is the basis of all our other

(false) identities. There is an interesting story which illustrates

this fact:

 

A man with a number of medals pinned on his coat came on a visit to a

village. Looking at his imposing stature and manners, medals at that,

many people received him with great respect and honoured him. As he

was leaving the place, someone asked him how he had obtained so many

medals. He replied while pointing to one big medal, 'Someone gave me

this medal by mistake, and others followed!'

 

The first medal, given by mistake, is our identification with body-

mind. Why we get that first 'medal', whether by mistake or otherwise,

no one knows. In fact, what is the purpose of this creation either,

no one knows. In his famous Paper on Hinduism, presented at Chicago

Parliament of Religions, Swami Vivekananda remarked:

 

'It is a fact in everybody's consciousness that one thinks of oneself

as the body. The Hindu does not attempt to explain why one thinks one

is body. The answer that it is the will of God is no explanation.

This is nothing more than what the Hindu says, " I do not know. " '

 

When this identification begins to loosen its grip on us, we try to

wriggle out of the cocoon called our little personality and then our

true 'personality' begins to emerge, the personality based our real

nature. Then all our selfishness begins to melt down. All our cruelty

and crookedness begins to lose its meaning, and we begin to see the

need to be established in our true nature which is pure and divine.

Experiencing the Divine within is the end of all sorrow and

unhappiness. It is then that we discover our undying inner worth and

our real potential begins to manifest--the real identity that stands

behind all other identities that we otherwise cling to.

 

The more we emphasise this inner truth of our being, the greater the

chances of lasting happiness and peace in life. But then what about

our sins, our mistakes lying hidden in our sub-conscious mind? Look

at how Swamiji allays our fears:

 

'If a man stands up and says, " I am a sinner, " he makes an untrue

statement because he does not know himself. He is the most ignorant

of men; of himself he knows only one part, because his knowledge

covers only a part of the ground he is on.'

 

To dwell on one's weaknesses is to affirm our body-mind limitation.

When we think of the divine centre within, we rise above our

littleness and get connected to the reservoir of infinite

possibilities of joy and strength.

 

Overcoming Body-mind Identity

 

It is fashionable to talk of the need of love. It is quite pertinent,

however, to ask how one can love others without rising above this

body-mind complex that clutters our perception of others. If we go on

stressing our caste, language, race, family and regional or even

national characteristics, where is the possibility of our love

becoming universal and all-inclusive? Declared Swamiji:

 

'It is love and love alone that I preach, and I base my teaching on

the great Vedantic truth of the sameness and omnipresence of the Soul

of the Universe.'

 

But how do we overcome this restriction imposed on our awareness?

Overcoming body-mind awareness, paradoxically, begins with

controlling them, which means becoming aware of them in the right

perspective. One cannot rise above body-mind covering without taking

care of them. According to the Hindu concept of life, though unborn,

we are born because of this identification. We do not die with the

death of body. Until we realise our inherent divinity, our mind keeps

travelling from one 'body-mind casing' to another. Till we reach the

Goal, becoming 're-established' in our Divine identity, we keep

taking rebirths repeatedly, in human or non-human forms. And the only

way to come out of this cycle is through right action and right

thinking which is possible only in human body and mind. The human

body-mind are thus called the summit of creation. The most vital step

to overcome the body-mind misconception, therefore, lies in training

and purifying the body and mind. This process of inner training is

called austerity (tapas). Explains Swami Brahmananda, a direct

disciple of Sri Ramakrishna:

 

'Real austerity is based upon these three principles: First, take

refuge in the truth. Truth is the pillar to which you must always

hold while performing any action. Second, conquer lust. Third,

renounce all cravings. Observe these three principles. That is real

austerity, and the greatest of these is to conquer lust.'

 

Of all the important disciplines for this training, chastity is held

to be the cornerstone. For nothing binds us to body-mind more than

sex-consciousness. Sex thrives on duality. A person wanting to rise

above his body-mind awareness must live a chaste life. Truthfulness,

chastity and renunciation of all worldly cravings is what constitutes

real austerity. And this breaks open the age-old identification with

body and mind. To identify oneself as divine means treating others

with same sense of divinity. One can regard oneself as pure, free

from all worldliness or one can identify oneself as a child of God--

both amount to same.

 

In sum, although we have many identities born of physical,

intellectual and social factors, to recognise our spiritual identity,

our true, lasting identity, we need to undergo a process of inner

purification. Mere intellectual acceptance or proclamation, though a

good beginning, cannot make us discover our lasting identity.

 

(Source: The Vedanta Kesari, September 2007)