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Success in Sadhana

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With the final stage of a sadhana, comes Gurudev's most brutal test.

This is the stage where your success or failure is decided; this is

the stage even a seasoned Sadhak dreads to think about. No amount of

dedication, faith, concentration, meditation - nothing can help you

prepare for it.

 

I was performing a Mahavidya sadhana. The tests of pain, pride, lust,

disrespect and distrust had already squeezed out the last bit of my

strength. Battered, I was in no position to face what was coming. On

the final day, Gurudev suddenly disowned me and took away his

blessings - the only thing that had kept me going. Now, the whole

Universe was telling me that my Guru was a fraud and I must abandon

my useless sadhana that very moment. I could barely remember the

mantra and I still had more than a hundred rosary rounds to go. I

don't remember how long I could hang on and just as I was about to

give up, something occurred to me - the key to the puzzle - the

solution and the next moment, everything was back to normal. A few

hours later, there was only light and lightness. I was nowhere and I

was everywhere. I was nothing, yet I was everything. Even the image

of my Gurudev had turned into mine.

 

Unlike what most of my fellow disciples think, a Sadhak does not

succeed in a sadhana automatically. Success may be an inch away from

you; but, unless you know it's there, unless you reach out and grasp

it, it will be gone.

 

Mirrored at: http://chronicles-of-a-

sadhak.blogspot.com/2007/04/success-in-sadhana.html

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