A Critique of Steve Forrest Synastry Article

[Guest guest]

A Critique of Steve Forrest Synastry Article

 

Hi All,

 

The following is an article written by very well known

Western astrologer Steve Forrest, back in Summer,

2000. It originally appeared in The Mountain

Astrologer magazine, which all of you know.

 

The article has to do with a subject all of you have

expressed a keen interest in, synastry. And in

fairness, he makes some good points. But there are

some serious flies in the ointment that needs to be

challenged.

 

Among them are his personal subjective comments, put

accross as " the truth " due to his position within the

astrological community. For example, his proclamation

that " God made alot of gay people " . Really? On what

basis does he say that? What proof can he offer of

God's will and/or plan? And if that's true, then why

has there been no calculus for how astrology addresses

this before now? Hmm...

 

Similarly, Forrest goes on to make other comments that

require a " checking " if you will - his take on " there

are no bad " astrological indications insofar as

relationships are concerned, are what I consider to be

highly problematic, because it introduces the notion

of no judgements on behavior (or astrology) and the

like being made. His avoidance of everyday people

concerns are problematic as well, instead focusing on

his " niche market " folks who can afford to pay his

bills - these are his own words. One of the chief

challenges for us astrologers, whether we choose the

" impossible mission " or not, is making astrology

relevant and valuable to great unwashed, not the

advant garde.

 

His definition of even what makes a " relationship " is

highly questionable, and for those of you who are

married, you'll see what I mean, for it's hardly such

a cavalier affair. His comments, along with the

general mood of the community on these matters, is

precisely why I've move more and more away from

" synastry " as it's applied today - that is to say,

whether two people would hookup, as it were - today, I

really only look at two people who are ready to commit

to marriage, and whether their charts show an ability

to whether such an association over the longterm (20

years or longer). Doing for synastry for " dating

purposes " or as Forrest describes them below, ain't my

bag, and I think he cheapens Marriage in a big way

when he speaks about the matter in the way he does.

 

I offer this article to highlight the fact that

Astrology today - Western and more and more Vedic (as

practiced here in the USA) as well - badly lacks Peer

Review; just about anyone who has read a few Sun Sign

books on the subject can put together a site, send

some articles off to Dell Horoscope or TMA, and get

whatever published, and there is no way in which to

check their stuff by way of deep questioning and

artful but incisive critique. Or, in the case of

Forrest, a " name " astrologer can say and/or write

anything, and because they have " tenure " so to speak,

they aren't challenged. Anything explains everything.

There is " no bad " . It's " all good " . And so on. For

those of you familiar with the academic setting, no

such thing would be allowed, at least not without

serious critique.

 

I posit that our Craft is seriously being degraded as

a result of such occurances.

 

I leave it to all of you look over Forrest's words and

get back to me with your thoughts - who's on point

here? Him, or me?

 

Salaam,

Mu

 

LOVE HANDLES: Practical Synastry in Action

by Steven Forrest

This article first appeared in The Mountain

Astrologer, Jun-Jul 2000.

 

 

When is the following declaration the saddest,

bitterest thing you've

ever heard? " I will always be your friend. "

 

Sweet words, most of the time. Real friendship is

precious. But most of

us have felt that terrible sting-the word " friend "

when it comes out of

the mouth of someone with whom we are in love in a

romantic, mating way.

Being downgraded to " friend " means rejection.

Something upon which we

have staked a big piece of our lives is taken away. We

know it and our

lover knows it too.

 

True friendship is a rare and wonderful thing; I

don't mean to belittle

it. We share interests; we celebrate each other's

victories and

commiserate in failure and pain. We share values and

assumptions.

Unspoken understandings abound. Like good jazz

players, we even

interrupt each other at exactly the right, comfortable

moments. You can

feel that kind of friendship instantly. You meet

someone at a party and

there's an instantaneous sense of being on the same

page. Everything a

friend does is all right.

 

Compare that kind of easy-going friendship to the

turbulence and

emotional complexity of a sane, grown-up sexual

relationship. They're

not opposites, but they certainly feel different. We

get to our teens

and we know the distinction like we know the

difference between kissing

grandma and kissing in the back seat.

 

We don't want erotic contact with everyone we " like; "

we usually don't

desire our friends-and if those fires get kindled, we

sense we're about

to muddy the water in a serious way. On the other

hand, when our lover

says, " I will always be your friend, " we know what's

really being said:

I don't want to sleep with you anymore. I don't want

to gaze into your

eyes. I want you close but not that close. Goodbye.

 

So, we are talking about two very different kinds of

love: friendship

and mating. They sometimes overlap, but knowing the

difference helps us

keep our lives sorted out. Enter astrology. That

happy, easy, schmoozing

feeling we get with congenial strangers-what are its

astrological

correlates? Basically it boils down to easy

interaspects: trines,

sextiles, certain specific conjunctions. The term

" interaspects "

originated, as far as I know, with Ken and Joan Negus.

Obviously enough,

it refers to aspects between two charts-my Venus

trines your Sun. It's a

useful word and will undoubtedly become part of the

basic semantics of

astrological practice. Joan is gone now, but her work

will live on in

that term.

 

In determining astrological harmony between people,

let's add another

piece to the puzzle: the Seventh House. If my planets,

especially softer

ones, fall in your Seventh House, there's usually a

friendly connection

felt between us. And another: Venus-if there are

strong, easy Venus

contacts between us, we'll probably like each other on

sight.

 

Naturally most of what we've inherited in the

astrological traditions

of synastry idealizes harmony between people. The

reflexive bottom line

is the more easy interaspects, the better. And of

course the harder

aspects-squares and oppositions-are seen in the

opposite way: if you're

an Aries you should marry a Sagittarian or a Leo (the

trines) and avoid

the Capricorns and Cancers (the squares). But those

easy interaspects

correlate with friendship a lot more than they

correlate with passion.

Nowadays people often leave relationships because of a

lack of that

basic heat in the blood. How many of your friends have

withdrawn from a

sexual bond because " something was missing? " About a

zillion, right? And

how often do think you might have heard those words in

Kansas in 1910? A

lot less frequently.

 

Times change, and astrologers must sometimes get their

noses out of

their musty books and pay some attention to the

changing world. The

realities of what I call marriage in this article are

morphing rapidly;

our skills must keep up if we are to serve our clients

well and relate

effectively to their realities and to their values. My

intention in

these pages is to share some of the techniques and

attitudes that have

proven most fruitful and relevant for me in the modern

astrological

relationship counselling context-and to warn you away

from some

planetary lore that has outlived its usefulness.

 

A moment ago I said " what I will call marriage "

because I want to honor

a couple of facts: first, God made a lot of gay folks,

and I honor their

commitments and name them " marriages " in this article.

Second, among

heterosexuals, not everyone is equally serious about

filling out the

government paperwork about their relationship status.

When I say

" marriage " from now on, I just mean a committed,

open-ended sexual bond

that has lasted for more than a few dozen consecutive

weekends, and

which both people pray lasts many more.

 

One of the true paradigm shifts happening in our

culture is that

marriage is becoming optional. It wasn't always that

way. Throughout

much of human history, we were agricultural,

farm-bound people. If our

marriage was a little unsatisfying, the option of

getting an apartment

across town wasn't nearly as viable as it is today. A

man who left his

farm would become a bandit or a beggar; the woman who

did the same, a

beggar or a prostitute. I oversimplify, of

course...but not by much. In

a nutshell, throughout much of human history, marriage

could be equated

with survival. An astrologer asked to evaluate a

potential marriage

would be working within the constraints of that basic

assumption:

divorce might mean death.

 

Where marriage could be equated with survival, there

was naturally a

great premium placed on " harmony " -at whatever cost it

might come in

terms of magic, passion, and even communication.

Anything, including

honesty, that might upset the apple cart was

feared...and that was a

reasonable attitude when separation was potentially

life-threatening.

All that mattered was that the two people would not

press each others'

buttons in any ways that could endanger that

life-preserving stability.

Culturally, we're just coming out from under the thumb

of those beliefs.

 

Harmony has obvious attractions, but let's look as

penetratingly as we

can at its dark side. Those " good " aspects we're

trained to value can

get awfully sleepy. When we are in harmony with

someone, there may be a

lot of unconscious collusion in terms of lies upon

which we agree...two

drunks deciding whether they're sober enough to make

it to the 7-11 for

another six- pack before it closes might be in perfect

harmony with each

other! There are trines and sextiles in action for

you! Just as the

drunks are about to get into their car and possibly

kill themselves or

someone else, a friend appears, realizes what's

happening, swipes their

car keys and tosses them out on the darkened lawn.

It's a nasty

situation; lots of curses and maledictions-and very

possibly lives

saved. Welcome to the " bad " aspects...a worthless,

misleading term we

astrologers really need to dump.

 

A single person is a perfectly viable creature

nowadays. Marriage is

difficult. Why bother with it? Even our sexual needs

can be met in a

variety of other ways, generally without serious

recriminations in the

modern world. Nowadays, unless we are severely

constrained by practical

considerations or in severe need of psychotherapy, we

tend not to

choose to remain in a relationship in which " something

is missing. "

 

So what does it take for " something " to be present? In

a nutshell, what

it takes is a lot of the astrological mechanisms the

traditional

approaches teach us to fear, loathe, and avoid: " bad "

aspects, lots of

Pluto action, major Eighth House components.

 

Go back in your memory banks and think of a

relationship that didn't

work out. It was passionate, intense, and full of

sacred sexuality. You

were sure your life would unfold on a loftier level

from that first kiss

onward; you were destined to be together. And six

months later: poof.

Any trouble relating to this tale? I didn't think so.

Now analyze that

relationship from a traditional astrological point of

view. Almost

guaranteed, you can do an effective post-

mortem.... " Ah, yes. Look at

that. Her nasty, psychotic Pluto was square my poor,

innocent Venus, "

et cetera. A close analysis of the configuration will

yield a very

precise understanding of what went wrong-but it will

lie to you with

great authority too! It entirely ignores the higher

evolutionary

possibilities implied in that configuration. Even more

dramatically,

that kind of astrological analysis fails miserably in

accounting for

that feeling of sacred passion, however transitory it

might have been.

 

If your Pluto squares my Venus, you probably have the

capacity to see

right through any smarmy Venus games I might play.

Maybe my sweet

manipulations don't work with you; maybe my

feather-smoothing diplomacy

is as transparent as window glass. Maybe, with you, I

just can't hide.

Maybe you confront me about that...and of course, as a

result, maybe I

feel that you are " always on my case, " that you've

" appointed yourself

my psychologist, " that your " need for power and

control " squelches my

sexuality-all the usual interpretations of the

configuration. And maybe

the truth behind those words sinks our romantic ship,

just as the

fortuneteller would predict. But maybe, just maybe, I

listen to you. You

plutonify my Venus, bringing up into my conscious

awareness certain

slippery, defensive games I play. Maybe I have grace

enough in myself,

and trust you enough, to let that humble realization

happen. Maybe I

become a better person for it.

 

Maybe what I am really saying is that my soul grows

because of your

impact on me.

 

" Something is missing. " What does that mean? Lots of

people would

immediately think about sexual passion. They're right.

But what sustains

sexual passion? Lord knows it's easy enough to turn it

on! But lasting

passion-there's the Holy Grail. My premise, based on

my experience

counselling modern people, is that sexual passion is a

function of

spiritual passion, at least after the first few weeks.

What's the

half-life of hormones? Not long. And spiritual

passion is sustained by

shared spiritual growth, which in turn is more a

function of the ways we

press each other to grow (hard aspects) than it is a

function of the

ways we quietly collude in denial, sleepiness, and

endless television

(easy aspects).

 

I really want to emphasize that what I mean by

" shared spiritual

growth " has little to do with sharing belief-systems

or philosophies,

and it has zero to do with any kind of airy " Flight-

into-Light. "

Relationships based on that bank of sand last about a

month, and then

the two lovers piously declare that " their work

together is now

finished. " What I am talking about is the gutsy,

humbling work of

revealing-intentionally or otherwise-all our warts and

wounds, and

slowly unravelling them together...slowly becoming

saner and wiser

together. Without that shared journey, without that

deeper nakedness,

spiritual passion does not exist, and sexual passion

dissipates no

matter how fiery and irresistible it may have been

initially. " Something

is missing. "

 

Let's keep our feet on the ground, though. If you are

in a committed

relationship, how many " growth experiences " do you

actually want to face

in any given week? Common sense: soul-growth is

exhausting work, and a

little goes a long way. We need some trines and

sextiles and happy

conjunctions between us, just to be able to deal with

everyday reality

together.

 

Now, stretch it out a little: how many growth

experiences are

appropriate in a given year? A given decade? Do you

really want perfect,

silent, nothing-happening peace forever with your

partner? " Pass the

remote control, honey. " Remember: that kind of peace

comes at the price

of sleepiness, collusion, and shared blindness-unless

you are already

doing excellent work with lepers.

 

To me, in the realities of the astrological

counselling room, there are

two immutable premises:

 

There is no manner of astrological interaction between

two people that

is so inherently sweet that enough selfishness,

confusion about sex, or

immaturity cannot turn it sour.

 

There is no manner of astrological interaction between

two people that

is so inherently bitter that enough patience,

devotion, and humility can

not only make it last, but make it something precious

to both people.

 

Underneath those overriding principles, what I like to

see when two

people are contemplating a commitment is a lot of

basic harmony and

agreement-especially some significant conjunctions,

trines, and sextiles

among those three absolute building blocks in the

astrological chart:

The Sun, the Moon, and the Ascendent. That really

helps people " get

along. " Let me quickly add that I don't mind seeing

some significant

squares, oppositions, quincunxes or sesquiquadrates

among those three

either-that's just grist for the evolutionary mill. We

need some of

both-sleepy peace and lively tension.

 

One observation that would scare me at this very

fundamental stage of

analysis would be no major, Ptolemaic aspects among

the two sets of

Suns, Moons and Ascendents. The old horary dictum " No

aspects, no

action " applies quite reliably in synastry work,

especially there in

the " primal triad. " Lots of different kinds of

relationships work, but I

can't think of a deeper challenge than a lack of

Ptolemaic interaspects

among those three points. That would be a lot like

sleeping with

somebody from another planet. It represents not so

much conflict as a

lack of communication, engagement, and energy.

 

Moving out beyond Sun, Moon and Ascendant and

considering all the

various planetary aspects, I would say that a good

rule of thumb in

synastry is the more aspects there are between two

people, the more

" glue " holds the relationship together, for good or

for ill. I am

referring here to aspects in general, not just the

traditional " good "

ones. Even the harder aspects are " glue " -just a more

demanding, more

passionate kind. My sense is that when we interact

socially with people

with whom we just don't have much going on

aspectually, we tend mostly

to make pleasant tribal mouth noises and quickly move

on to more

interesting fields of energy. If we wind up in bed, or

worse, with

someone like that, it's the triumph of the illusions

created by simple

lust or psychological projection over attention to our

own hearts,

souls, and senses. Mostly, though, those relationships

simply don't

occur. Ram Dass commented that our sexual centers of

perception divide

the world into " the desirable, " the " competition for

those who are

desirable, " and the " irrelevant. " People with whom we

don't have much

aspectual interaction are basically the " irrelevant, "

even if they are

easy to look at.

 

Perspective: What I am writing about here, as I have

said, is my own

experience in the counselling room. I've seen

countless

astrologically-harmonious couples separate, and I've

seen some marriages

last lifetimes where a fortuneteller might have been

very pessimistic

about their prospects. But people self-select for

astrological counsel;

they are not the general population. I suppose that if

I were trying to

come up with statistical paradigms for predicting

simple stability, and

nothing more, in marriage across the human spectrum,

I'd go with the

old way of thinking: give me tons of trines and

sextiles, tons of

harmony. Then they can sit peacefully in front of the

television

together, maybe for decades, and not bother each

other very much. But

for the kinds of human beings who actually help me pay

my bills, that

kind of sleepy collusion is not what they're after.

These are generally

more dynamic, growth-oriented people-or they wouldn't

be there in my

office! Demonstrably, they'll intervene in their own

lives, and they'll

often leave relationships that aren't going anywhere.

With these kinds

of people, I focus a lot of attention on the harder

interaspects between

them. I try to be realistic; I tell them that there

are ways they may

never understand each other. I emphasize that this

kind of frustration

isn't so bad-if they handle it right, it will keep

them alert. I only

offer to try to help untangle the tangled lines of

misunderstanding.

I'll try to get Jill to honor the evolutionary reasons

behind Jack's

need for periodic emotional withdrawl; I'll support

Jack in respecting

Jill's need to probe into his inner life. I'll try to

generate a kind of

objective compassion in each toward the other. But

I'll never try to get

either to compromise their basic natures-that I would

frame as a crime

against the human spirit.

 

Even with the easier aspects, I try not to be passive.

" Oh this is

beautiful " may be an encouraging remark, but it

doesn't go very far in

terms of specific helpfulness. Say Jill has Jupiter in

Sagittarius in

her Ninth House. It trines Jack's Fifth House Aries

Sun. Everything else

being equal, there is a fair degree of

adventuresomeness in each of

them. They'll sense their energetic harmony ten

seconds after they meet;

they'll smile-unconsciously anticipating that

potential trip to India

they'll take together in nine years.

 

Now, maybe eight years later they come to me for a

synastry reading. My

job is to remind them to book that trip to India!

Maybe in the swamp of

daily life, they got bogged down in the short view and

forgot about it.

They've neglected what feeds them as a couple. They

need a little

reminder about how journeys and shared adventures

nourish the good stuff

that's at the heart of their purpose together.

 

The point is that even the " easy " aspects require care

and feeding if

they are going to develop into everything they can

be-remember: their

dark side is sleepiness. The treasure may be in the

back yard, but they

still have to dig it up.

 

I've been speaking categorically of " easy " and " hard "

aspects.

Basically, by " easy " I mean trines and sextiles. By

" hard, " I mean

squares and oppositions. We'll speak of the minor

aspects in a moment,

but right now we need to reckon with the single most

important aspect of

all: the conjunction. It follows its own separate set

of laws, and it

doesn't fit readily into an " easy " or " hard " box the

way the others do.

Here's a good way to conceptualize it:

 

Some planets naturally feel " soft: " The Moon, Venus,

Jupiter, Neptune.

 

Some naturally feel " hard: " The Sun, Mars, Saturn,

Uranus, Pluto.

 

Mercury, as usual, seems to be its own special case.

Sometimes it feels

" hard, " especially when it's contacting a hard planet.

Other times it

feels " soft, " especially when linked to a softer

planet.

 

Now, with conjunctions, the rule is simple.

Conjunctions between a hard

and a soft planet are " hard, " while conjunctions

between two " soft "

planets or two " hard " ones are easy. It's pretty

intuitive really. The

Moon likes Neptune-if your Moon conjuncts my Neptune,

that generally

feels easy and comfortable...just remember that " easy "

doesn't mean

" good. " We could collude like crazy on our emotional

illusions until the

romantic card castle fell down. But we could also feel

a flowing,

natural spiritual rapport, an easy Moon-Neptune

feeling of knowing each

other psychically and psychologically, even without

words. Real or

illusory, it feels good.

 

Parallel interactions happen when your Mars conjuncts

my Uranus. That's

" hard to hard, " and while the fireworks can be

spectacular, there's a

kind of gritty comrades-in-arms feeling that arises.

Mars and Uranus

understand each pretty well; their rough edges get

along. We " fight

well, " which is a precious skill in the real world of

grown-up intimacy.

 

If my Moon aligns with your Mars- " soft to hard " -that's

a different

kettle of fish. My sensitivities and emotional needs

(Moon) are exposed

to all your jagged edges (Mars.) Now, maybe that does

them a world of

good! Maybe you press me, wittingly or unwittingly, to

be more assertive

about what I want and need. You are martializing my

Moon. From an

evolutionary perspective, it may be a very beautiful

thing, and it's the

astrologer's task to emphasize and support that

possibility. But

Mars-Moon interaspects still often don't feel very

good. Maybe I project

onto you the idea that you are " the heavy, " while you

project onto me

the idea that I am " a wimp. " Maybe, according to you,

I'm always

" overreacting, " while, according to me, you are always

" arguing " or

" teasing. "

 

Mercury blends with anything-best to apply our " easy

aspect " logic to

any interaspectual conjunctions involving Mercury.

 

I spoke of you martializing my Moon. Earlier I used an

example of you

plutonifying my Venus. My wife, Jodie Forrest, and I

introduced this

language in 1989 in our book Skymates: The Astrology

of Love, Sex, and

Intimacy. The words sound funny, but we've found them

to be useful tools

for conceptualizing the actual energy-transactions

that occur in a

relationship. The key is to realize that any

interaspect is a two-way

street: you do something to me and I do something back

to you. If your

Sun makes any aspect to my Moon-a classic and common

synastry

connection-then you solarize my Moon while I lunarize

your Sun. You

press my emotional needs into active expression, while

I nourish and

support your pride, self-image, and confidence.

Skymates, by the way, is

currently out of print, but between the Bantam edition

and the ACS

edition, there are a lot of them around. Jodie and I

are currently

re-writing the book and hope to have a new edition out

by the middle of

2001.

 

These " martializing " or " plutonifying " energetic

transactions apply

regardless of the specific nature of the

interaspect-it doesn't matter

if it's a square or a trine; mercurialization is still

mercurialization.

The only difference is that if it's an easy aspect,

then we both like

the process, while if it's a hard aspect we feel more

stressed by it-and

maybe more passionate and alert about each other in

the long run.

 

Always, regardless of the technical interactions

between the charts, we

must recognize that, from an astrological

perspective, any relationship

can potentially be made to work. My feeling is that

once a couple is

committed to trying, the astrologer should be

committed to helping them.

I feel ill and ashamed for us all when I hear clients

tell me something

like, " the other astrologer told us our marriage was

basically

impossible. " Still, if I had to pick an " ideal, " I'd

lean toward a lot

of major Ptolemaic aspects, with an emphasis on

Sun-Moon-Ascendent

contacts. I'd put them in a mix of about two-thirds

" easy "

interaspectual transactions and one- third " hard "

ones. That provides

plenty of the basic glue that holds people together,

plus, through the

easy aspects, a real sense of friendship and

comfort-and enough

evolutionary rocket fuel to keep a sense of " process "

alive. That's the

gift of the harder aspects. In the world we seem to be

entering, that's

the formula that works most often in my experience.

 

Jodie and I went into a lot more detail about all this

in Skymates, but

here are some key concepts for the various

interaspectual transactions.

A couple of caveats: In all these thumbnail sketches,

I'm leaving out

the specific context of the planets in each person's

birthchart, which

is the eternal curse of any " cookbook " approach. To

save space, I'm also

blithely neglecting the darker possibilities, and

focussing on the

higher intentions of the interaspect.

 

If I solarize a planet in your chart, then I press it

to emerge

energetically, vividly, and actively in your life.

 

If I lunarize a planet in your chart, then I nourish

and support it,

and render it moodier and more aware of its needs.

 

If I mercurialize a planet in your chart, then I press

it to speak, to

stretch, to gather more information, to think about

itself, and to

articulate its nature.

 

If I venusify a planet in your chart, then I warm it,

seduce it, and

induce in it a desire to connect with me and exchange

energy with me. I

may also " civilize " it, and encourage it to beautify

itself.

 

If I martialize a planet in your chart, then I press

it toward courage

and assertiveness, also bringing out whatever anger or

frustration it

may contain.

 

If I jovialize a planet in your chart, then I

encourage and support it,

cheerleading it on toward wider horizons, a

willingness to take risks,

and more faith in itself.

 

If I saturnize a planet in your chart, then I invite

it to mature and

to face reality squarely. I ask it to discipline

itself, to make hard

choices decisively, and to bring its intentions into

concrete

manifestation.

 

If I uranize a planet in your chart, then I press it

toward

individuation, toward rebellion against " tribal "

mythology, and toward

free-spirited experimentation.

 

If I neptunify a planet in your chart, then I enchant

and mesmerize it,

softening it and filling it with inspiration,

spiritual renewal, and

imaginative imagery.

 

If I plutonify a planet in your chart, then I trigger

the emergence of

unconscious or wounded material connected with it,

challenging it to

grow and to implement the soul's healing intentions.

 

This language also helps codify our understanding of

House

Transpositions as well. If, for example, my Neptune

falls in your Tenth

House, I'll have a neptunifying impact upon your

career. That may be a

big deal, or a very minor part of the picture,

depending on two factors:

a) the strength of my natal Neptune, and b) the

importance of career to

you, as reflected in your birthchart. The interaction

would also be

strengthened enormously if my Neptune made some

serious aspects to your

natal planets, especially a conjunction with a Tenth

House planet of

yours, or a vigorous aspect to the ruler of your

Midheaven.

 

Some people get touchy about the term " minor aspects. "

I can see why;

those aspects can be powerful, especially the

quincunx. I concentrate

more on the major Ptolemaic aspects in my actual work,

though. They

carry so much energy. My time with a couple is limited

so I want to

focus on the most important issues, which are

generally indicated not

only more by major than by minor aspects, by also by

only the closest

major aspects. I won't even have time to speak of all

the squares and

sextiles, so I tend not to bother much in practice

with the

semi-squares, bi- noviles, and sesquiquadrates. That

doesn't mean

they're not interesting and useful; they just don't

fit very well into

 

the context of a one-shot, two-hour session, which is

how I work most of

the time. If you are drawn to work with the minors,

generally I'd say

treat them as " hard " aspects and these guidelines

should translate

effectively.

 

Classically, the Seventh House is the " House of

Marriage. " A very

common correlate of relationship is to see one

person's planets,

especially the Sun, Moon, or Ascendent, falling in the

other person's

Seventh House. It's important not to be overly caught

up in the dying

notions of " malefic " or " benefic " planets in this

regard-my Saturn

falling in your Seventh House doesn't necessarily mean

I'll be cold or

distant, or that I will abandon you. It might mean

I'll offer you a

serious, mature, growth-oriented commitment. It really

depends upon how

consciously I am responding to my own Saturn issues,

and you can't ever

see that in a birthchart. Similarly, while my Venus

falling in your

Seventh House can certainly suggest a wonderfully

tender and romantic

connection, it can also mean that I'll manipulate and

seduce you.

 

Even though the Seventh House is still reflexively

associated with

relationship by most astrologers, all the other Houses

are

relevant-we're talking about a connection between two

human wholenesses,

after all. Still, I'd encourage you to pay particular

attention to the

Eighth House, especially between people who are moving

into the newer

styles of intimacy where the richness and spiritual

relevance of the

connection means more than blind endurance. The

Seventh House really

refers to partnerships in general and the grease it

takes to keep them

afloat. The Eighth brings in the Plutonian themes of

deep, shared inner

work and psychological intensity. It's also more

connected with the

bonding dimensions of sexuality than any other

House-if you have a

planet there in your own natal chart it will very

reliably describe the

kinds of people with whom you are likely to have the

deepest and most

compellingly instinctual sense that you are " supposed

to be together. "

It's about those elusive sexual terms-chemistry and

electricity-which no

one can satisfactorily define but which everyone

recognizes, usually

from across a crowded room.

 

The Fifth House is often trivialized as the " House of

Love Affairs. "

Planets there in your natal chart actually correlate

with people in

your life with whom there is a feeling of " business

that needs to be

finished. " It's easiest for me to make sense of that

perception in

evolutionary, reincarnational terms. If you have

Neptune in your natal

Fifth House, you may really need to claim something

back from a person

who is an unreliable visionary romantic (Neptune). You

may need to

release him or just let her go, and that of course is

sometimes easier

said than done. It's unfinished business from the

karmic past, in my

view. With Mercury there in your birthchart, the

person with whom you've

got the unfinished business may be a very good talker.

With Mars,

someone whose anger is unresolved. You probably get

the idea-just think

of the darker, more seductive possibilities connected

with each planet,

and you'll be on the right track.

 

Those kinds of transpersonal, karmic themes emerge

very clearly in

interaspectual contacts involving the Nodes of the

Moon as well.

Reincarnation and the larger metaphysical,

evolutionary background

against which the astrological story unfolds is a vast

subject, really

too big to fit into the framework of this article. The

best books I can

recommend to get you going in that domain are Jeffrey

Wolf Green's

classic, Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul

Through

Relationships, and the new book he and I wrote

together, Measuring the

Night: Evolutionary Astrology and the Keys to the

Soul, Volume One. By

the way, Volume Two of that work will be available in

a few months. It

takes the material even further. While I'm plugging

books, I was very

impressed with the groundedness, style, and wisdom of

Terry Lamb's

recent synastry book, Born to be Together, which is

published by Hay

House.

 

The Fourth House is one of the most basic-and most

neglected-parts of

the synastry puzzle. Most of us learn in our first

astrology class that

it's the " House of the Home. " We then use it to speak

of our physical

dwelling places, our families of origin, and our

interior psychological

worlds. All that is valid, but let's not leave out the

notion that the

pot of gold at the end of love's rainbow is a stable,

happy bond-a sense

of " home, " created, proven, maintained, and trusted,

with a beloved

partner. That's a Fourth House reality. Planets there

in your own chart

indicate your needs and possibly your baggage in that

department. If,

for example, you have Venus in the Fourth House, then

the kind of home

that will work for you is one permeated by a peaceful,

aesthetic

Venusian spirit. That puts some constraints on how

satisfied you'll be

living with someone who's got Sun conjunct Uranus in

Gemini, square

Mars, and five planets jumping for thermonuclear joy

in Sagittarius!

 

If someone transposes a lot of their own planets into

your Fourth

House, he or she is likely to fill you with deep,

comfortable feelings

of " family. " There's just an inexplicable

" familiarity " there. Mutual

Fourth House transpositions are common between people

who go the

distance with each other, and that bedrock

astrological fact seems to

have disappeared from the more generic synastry

textbooks. Probably it's

a casualty of our pan-cultural loss of those precious

psychological

crown jewels-our Fourth House sense of community,

kinship, and absolute

commitment to each other.

 

One more comment: of all the relationship Houses, I'd

say the Fourth is

probably the most " adult. " I say that because it

relates to the stage of

relationship where it would be appropriate to consider

bringing new life

into the world. In a society where " adult " has come to

mean " visible

genitals, " we've got some collective healing to do in

that department. I

like to think of astrologers as leading rather than

following in that

great enterprise.

 

One final comment: a critical link in the synastry

chain is the

composite chart. There are a variety of ways of

calculating them. The

one that works best for me is based on the midpoints

of the planets:

halfway between my Sun and your Sun is our composite

Sun, and so on. I

like to use the latitude of the place where the

relationship started,

rather than the current residence of the couple. I'm

also very open to

the idea of just taking the midpoints of all the House

cusps, which is

another popular technique.

 

Composite charts are a big subject, and probably rate

a separate

article. Basically you interpret them in exactly the

same manner as you

would interpret a natal chart, except you remember

that you are

discussing the care and feeding of the relationship as

a whole.

Sometimes two introverts come together and begin

throwing loud parties;

sometimes two extroverts come together and move to a

cabin in Alaska.

These are not laws of the universe, only possibilities

within the

universe. The Composite chart gets at all that,

helping us understand

what kinds of shared experiences help keep the couple

vital and

alive-and that might be different from what they need

as individuals.

 

For some deeper perspectives on the Composite chart,

I'd encourage you

to find a copy of Jodie's and my Skymates. To dive

into the

evolutionary and reincarnational dimensions of the

Composite, I'd again

steer you toward Volume Two of Jeffrey Wolf Green's

Pluto series.

 

In closing, I'd like to affirm that the astrologer's

task as a

practitioner of synastry isn't to judge anyone's

relationships or to

prophesy about their longevity. Our task is to read

the symbols

honestly, to speak of love's highest possibilities and

encourage the

couple to realize them, all the while warning them

about the darker

places that misunderstanding can breed.

 

After that, we make no disempowering predictions;

instead we stand back

in a spirit of respectful, compassionate good will and

pray for the

ancient miracle-lasting, living human love...the

engine that drives the

evolution of our souls.

 

 

 

Mu'Min M. Bey

Western and Vedic Astrologer

Check out my site:

muminbey.tripod.com

" The Future of Astrology, is Here... "

AOL IM Screen Name: JediMu

Join the Pan Astrological Forum, Where Freedom in Astrological

Thought

Lives! Just send a blank email to panastroforum-