generally very confused but trying harder and harder

[Guest guest]

Dear Mark,

How did you conclude that I was born on a full moon day. According

to my mom I was born on thrayodasi, three days after full moon, in

turn a waxing moon. But she told me that she had to bear pains for

three days. I wonder if there is a significance for that.

 

Moon seems to be playing all the games. I think there is something

about the neptune in the same house too. Dont know what that means.

 

But I have felt this several times in my life and I always failed to

keep track of, I suddenly bump into these revelations and flashes of

realities of why something just happened, (intuitive u can say), or

why someone said that to me and such. And then I forget that

completely ...wiped out of memory...and then something happens

pertaining to that revelation and it occurs to me ...I knew this

would happen why didnt I stop it in the first place.

 

Once I realised this " revelation " I consciouly tried to change my

motions. This process of consciously trying is making me very very

tired. SO nowadays I am starting rebel against that tendency to

subdue my emotions and what happens is that I being misunderstood.

I have to slow down you say...but I feel that I wasted a major part

of my past looking out for someone or the other.

 

Sincerely, I beleive if I have been explained about the options ,

the positives and negatives of my deeds, I would not be what I am

now. Both in positive sense and negative sense.

 

I have this obsession now to proove my capabilities, but I

disgruntled by the lack of concentration I suffer and calm attitude

towards life. Uranus, neptune, pluto, powered by the moon and its

nodes are pulling me apart.

 

Probably, I am just blaming everyone else for my indecisive nature,

but somehow my decisions are leading to be better (under the given

circumstances).

In 1986 my second brother commited suicide and shattered our family.

From then on I was always amidst of crucial decisions and was

constantly fighting to proove myself.

I dont seem to get enough of it so now I am pushing myself for

employment to earn more money.

 

Now I cant seem to say no because I have put so much into this.

 

And am now trying to figure out the good things in my life are they

really good.

 

Sorry for not being able to put this in astro terms.

My ascendant gemini,sat, mer,ven,ket all in 1h

Sun in taurus 12h

moon, neptune in scorpio, 6h

 

Please explain and suggest.

-Durga