Of Mars And Men - The Other Side of Domestic Abuse...

[Guest guest]

Of Mars And Men - The Other Side of Domestic Abuse...

 

9:26 AM 1/5/05 Wed

 

I turned on the TV as I sat down in front of my PC to handle my

ordinary daily affairs; just channel surfing I ran accross " Elder " a

television daytime talkshow featuring as the host Larry Elder, a

Black Conservative who has a reputation for saying and doing things

that some, mainly those in the Black Community view as problematic.

 

" Elder " attempts to assist people in oftentimes tough situations;

today's problems are no different.

 

Domestic abuse, also known as Spousal abuse, has received a great

deal of media focus, judicial and legislative attention, and popular

support (in terms of dealing with it) for at least the better part of

nearly 20 years - in fact, most everyone remembers seeing the

landmark television movie " The Burning Bed " . However, the vast

majority of the attention has been given to the woman's side of the

aisle. And rightly so - studies continue to show that women suffer in

a disproportionate way from spousal abuse; many women are beaten very

badly, others die, families are broken up and society continues to

break down.

 

Yet, very little is done about WHY men - and though there are indeed

cases where women can abuse, the overwhelming numbers show that in

the main it is men - who are so abusive to their wives and children.

 

Today's show had on a couple, who appeared to be White, working class

and Midwestern/Southern. The husband was extraordinarily dictatorial,

strict and harsh in his words and actions regarding his wife and

kids. The children, all girls under the age of 14, exhibited signs of

violent behavior among themselves and in school; the wife cowers in

terror; and the husband, a man who two years ago worked in

construction, has been home since then as a result of a string of

injuries, which has left him 45% disabled. In an effort to cope with

his drastically changed status and pain - physical and emotional, he

has turned to drink, to the tune of some 16-plus beers a day!

 

Just out of curiousity, I turned on the " astro-clock " function in my

computer program, and to my amazement (and amusement) I found that

Mars was right on the MC at the time the show was on the air ( " Elder "

Domestic Violence TV Show; Wed, Jan 5 2005 9.12am EST Philadelphia,

PA; Plac 17 Aqr 00)! Note too, that, Neptune is right on the Asc from

the 12th (Neptune=alcohol) square the Moon in Scorpio (need for

control so as to not get taken advantage of) in the 8th.

 

No protracted problems such as the one above can be solved within the

span of an hour-long tv show; and while I applaud Larry Elder's

attempts (as well as the many other daytime talkshow hosts/hostesses -

Ricki Lake, Oprah Winfrey, Maury Povich, Montel Williams, Dr. Phil,

etc.), I have to say that such attempts only skim the surface.

 

So, why DO men abuse as often as they do? I think it has everything

to do with the changing (or should I say, accelerated) social order,

where men - particularly (but certainly not limited to) blue-

collar, " working class " men - are finding themselves more and more

displaced. What it historically meant to be a man - being able to

make an impact on your environement, duty, honor, craftsmanship (all

keywords for Mars, when you think about it) - are slowly being

eroded, by such sociopolitical forces as the economy, gender politics

and media imagery. Worse, there aren't many signals by the larger

society that such " salt of the earth " types of men are needed or even

wanted, around any more. It can be a very confusing, and frightening

time for any man indeed.

 

But of course, the " Mars issues " kicking in only make matters worse.

There is much to be said for the fact that most, if not all men in

our society have not been taught to cope with their feelings of loss

and inadequecy, along with the falied attempts of our times to re-

intergrate these men into society and make them whole again. But

there is another reason why so little has been side about " the other

side " ...

 

....and that has to do with Gender Politics. Simply put, it is very,

very difficult to get any meaningful dialogue about these issues,

because the vast majority of people - men and women alike - simply do

not think it is worth talking about the pain and suffering such men

go through that is equal to, or in some cases, worse, than the pain

he's putting his family through (and of course, so much of this has

to do with these men's own early homelife and development). NOW

(National Organization of Women), and other such advocacy groups,

while doing some good work, have in their zeal pigeon-holed the

debate on gender politics into one where any attempt to discuss these

issues on an even footing is to suggest perpetuating

the " patriarchial system " .

 

As noted above, Mars was very prominent in the event/horary chart

cast for the moment the Elder show was on the air; and I posit that

Mars has to be singled out and addressed in the chart of any man with

whom we found ourselves as astrologers having to contend with. Mars

is both a defensive and offensive planet, in that it represents

the " go-getter " impulse, as well as the " fight or flight " response.

Moreover, Mars is the " action planet " par excellence - Mars needs

something to do, TO HAVE PURPOSE. As any man knows, to have a

purpose, to know that your life has meaning, that your work will make

a difference, makes all the difference in the world.

 

In my experiences as an astrologer and in my role in working in the

Human Services field, I have had the chance to counsel many such men,

and I have always found it helpful to " speak " to their Martian needs

as men. Now, don't get me wrong, the whole chart has to be taken into

account, without a doubt - but, with that said, I have seen Mars to

play a central and dominant role when it comes to scenarios like

these (and in Vedic Astrology, the astrological combination known as

Kuja Dosha - The Blemish of Mars - reflects all of this as well).

 

In the tv show event chart, Mars was in Sagittarius - a sign

placement that certainly puts a strong focus on the potential for

opinion power to run rampant for sure - and the husband on the Elder

program certainly seemed to personify that Mars placement in spades.

The Fire Sign focus of Mars, strong at the MC, definitely showed the

hubbie having the most difficulty using his Martian energies in ways

that were more beneficial, rather than the self-destructive ways in

which Mars seemed to " rule " him.

 

I posit that men with such a strong Martian focus - usually in a Fire

Sign, Air Sign, or planetary aspect emphasis (by such planets as

Saturn, Uranus, Jupiter or Pluto) - need to " reconnect " to their Mars

principle, and work with it in ways that reintergrate that part of

themselves along helpful paths. One of those ways is the field of

work, a key Martian theme, especially in the aforementioned

configurations. Literally working, (and/or " working out " in a gym

setting - boxing, martial arts, sports etc), is an excellent way for

a man to " vent " his excess Martian energies, and lessens the

likelihood of his venting those energies on his family.

 

Also, I have found that such men would do well to join a sort

of " warrior class " , like the " sweat lodge " movements that have been

started in certain areas of the country, the " Promise Keepers " , or

groups that were inspired by The Million Man March. Such efforts not

only promote those aforementioned themes of duty, honor, committment,

work, service and purpose (being on a " mission " ), but also provides

a " safe place " where they can share their feelings and experiences

with other men who are on the same path. It's no accident that Mars

has always been associated, from Time immemorial, with the military

and its way of life. Reading such books as " The Art of War " , which

teaches the key differences between the Warrior and the Brute, are

also most helpful.

 

When a man sees that he has purpose, a sense of control of his own

destiny, that he has something to show for what he has done at the

end of the work week, and that his being around - in his family, his

neighborhood, etc - does indeed make a difference, the incidence of

spousal abuse abates. This has been my own humble experiences as a

consultant astrologer to many men in this area.

 

Now if we can only get the rest of society - astrological and non

alike - on board...

 

Suggested Further Reading: " Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American

Male " , by Susan Faludi

 

Salaam,

Mu

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing this Mu,

 

I absolutely liked this post. By the way it is also good

for " agressive " women to do sports. Like in my natal chart mars

saturn square, I started lately doing karate classes again. That

FEELS good. It gives me strength and i can vent my martian

impulses ;-)

 

Greetings,

 

Anne

 

, " MuMin Bey "

<mumin_bey> wrote:

>

> Of Mars And Men - The Other Side of Domestic Abuse...

>

> 9:26 AM 1/5/05 Wed

>

> I turned on the TV as I sat down in front of my PC to handle my

> ordinary daily affairs; just channel surfing I ran accross " Elder "

a

> television daytime talkshow featuring as the host Larry Elder, a

> Black Conservative who has a reputation for saying and doing

things

> that some, mainly those in the Black Community view as

problematic.

>

> " Elder " attempts to assist people in oftentimes tough situations;

> today's problems are no different.

>

> Domestic abuse, also known as Spousal abuse, has received a great

> deal of media focus, judicial and legislative attention, and

popular

> support (in terms of dealing with it) for at least the better part

of

> nearly 20 years - in fact, most everyone remembers seeing the

> landmark television movie " The Burning Bed " . However, the vast

> majority of the attention has been given to the woman's side of

the

> aisle. And rightly so - studies continue to show that women suffer

in

> a disproportionate way from spousal abuse; many women are beaten

very

> badly, others die, families are broken up and society continues to

> break down.

>

> Yet, very little is done about WHY men - and though there are

indeed

> cases where women can abuse, the overwhelming numbers show that in

> the main it is men - who are so abusive to their wives and

children.

>

> Today's show had on a couple, who appeared to be White, working

class

> and Midwestern/Southern. The husband was extraordinarily

dictatorial,

> strict and harsh in his words and actions regarding his wife and

> kids. The children, all girls under the age of 14, exhibited signs

of

> violent behavior among themselves and in school; the wife cowers

in

> terror; and the husband, a man who two years ago worked in

> construction, has been home since then as a result of a string of

> injuries, which has left him 45% disabled. In an effort to cope

with

> his drastically changed status and pain - physical and emotional,

he

> has turned to drink, to the tune of some 16-plus beers a day!

>

> Just out of curiousity, I turned on the " astro-clock " function in

my

> computer program, and to my amazement (and amusement) I found that

> Mars was right on the MC at the time the show was on the air

( " Elder "

> Domestic Violence TV Show; Wed, Jan 5 2005 9.12am EST

Philadelphia,

> PA; Plac 17 Aqr 00)! Note too, that, Neptune is right on the Asc

from

> the 12th (Neptune=alcohol) square the Moon in Scorpio (need for

> control so as to not get taken advantage of) in the 8th.

>

> No protracted problems such as the one above can be solved within

the

> span of an hour-long tv show; and while I applaud Larry Elder's

> attempts (as well as the many other daytime talkshow

hosts/hostesses -

> Ricki Lake, Oprah Winfrey, Maury Povich, Montel Williams, Dr.

Phil,

> etc.), I have to say that such attempts only skim the surface.

>

> So, why DO men abuse as often as they do? I think it has

everything

> to do with the changing (or should I say, accelerated) social

order,

> where men - particularly (but certainly not limited to) blue-

> collar, " working class " men - are finding themselves more and more

> displaced. What it historically meant to be a man - being able to

> make an impact on your environement, duty, honor, craftsmanship

(all

> keywords for Mars, when you think about it) - are slowly being

> eroded, by such sociopolitical forces as the economy, gender

politics

> and media imagery. Worse, there aren't many signals by the larger

> society that such " salt of the earth " types of men are needed or

even

> wanted, around any more. It can be a very confusing, and

frightening

> time for any man indeed.

>

> But of course, the " Mars issues " kicking in only make matters

worse.

> There is much to be said for the fact that most, if not all men in

> our society have not been taught to cope with their feelings of

loss

> and inadequecy, along with the falied attempts of our times to re-

> intergrate these men into society and make them whole again. But

> there is another reason why so little has been side about " the

other

> side " ...

>

> ...and that has to do with Gender Politics. Simply put, it is

very,

> very difficult to get any meaningful dialogue about these issues,

> because the vast majority of people - men and women alike - simply

do

> not think it is worth talking about the pain and suffering such

men

> go through that is equal to, or in some cases, worse, than the

pain

> he's putting his family through (and of course, so much of this

has

> to do with these men's own early homelife and development). NOW

> (National Organization of Women), and other such advocacy groups,

> while doing some good work, have in their zeal pigeon-holed the

> debate on gender politics into one where any attempt to discuss

these

> issues on an even footing is to suggest perpetuating

> the " patriarchial system " .

>

> As noted above, Mars was very prominent in the event/horary chart

> cast for the moment the Elder show was on the air; and I posit

that

> Mars has to be singled out and addressed in the chart of any man

with

> whom we found ourselves as astrologers having to contend with.

Mars

> is both a defensive and offensive planet, in that it represents

> the " go-getter " impulse, as well as the " fight or flight "

response.

> Moreover, Mars is the " action planet " par excellence - Mars needs

> something to do, TO HAVE PURPOSE. As any man knows, to have a

> purpose, to know that your life has meaning, that your work will

make

> a difference, makes all the difference in the world.

>

> In my experiences as an astrologer and in my role in working in

the

> Human Services field, I have had the chance to counsel many such

men,

> and I have always found it helpful to " speak " to their Martian

needs

> as men. Now, don't get me wrong, the whole chart has to be taken

into

> account, without a doubt - but, with that said, I have seen Mars

to

> play a central and dominant role when it comes to scenarios like

> these (and in Vedic Astrology, the astrological combination known

as

> Kuja Dosha - The Blemish of Mars - reflects all of this as well).

>

> In the tv show event chart, Mars was in Sagittarius - a sign

> placement that certainly puts a strong focus on the potential for

> opinion power to run rampant for sure - and the husband on the

Elder

> program certainly seemed to personify that Mars placement in

spades.

> The Fire Sign focus of Mars, strong at the MC, definitely showed

the

> hubbie having the most difficulty using his Martian energies in

ways

> that were more beneficial, rather than the self-destructive ways

in

> which Mars seemed to " rule " him.

>

> I posit that men with such a strong Martian focus - usually in a

Fire

> Sign, Air Sign, or planetary aspect emphasis (by such planets as

> Saturn, Uranus, Jupiter or Pluto) - need to " reconnect " to their

Mars

> principle, and work with it in ways that reintergrate that part of

> themselves along helpful paths. One of those ways is the field of

> work, a key Martian theme, especially in the aforementioned

> configurations. Literally working, (and/or " working out " in a gym

> setting - boxing, martial arts, sports etc), is an excellent way

for

> a man to " vent " his excess Martian energies, and lessens the

> likelihood of his venting those energies on his family.

>

> Also, I have found that such men would do well to join a sort

> of " warrior class " , like the " sweat lodge " movements that have

been

> started in certain areas of the country, the " Promise Keepers " , or

> groups that were inspired by The Million Man March. Such efforts

not

> only promote those aforementioned themes of duty, honor,

committment,

> work, service and purpose (being on a " mission " ), but also

provides

> a " safe place " where they can share their feelings and experiences

> with other men who are on the same path. It's no accident that

Mars

> has always been associated, from Time immemorial, with the

military

> and its way of life. Reading such books as " The Art of War " , which

> teaches the key differences between the Warrior and the Brute, are

> also most helpful.

>

> When a man sees that he has purpose, a sense of control of his own

> destiny, that he has something to show for what he has done at the

> end of the work week, and that his being around - in his family,

his

> neighborhood, etc - does indeed make a difference, the incidence

of

> spousal abuse abates. This has been my own humble experiences as a

> consultant astrologer to many men in this area.

>

> Now if we can only get the rest of society - astrological and non

> alike - on board...

>

> Suggested Further Reading: " Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American

> Male " , by Susan Faludi

>

> Salaam,

> Mu