Love letters from Damon!

[Guest guest]

Listers,

 

 

Hey, Look what Damon just sent to me! Twice! Dude, hate e-mail is

on the level of a 3rd grader, and not an adult.

 

This boy has some serious problems, and needs to see a psychiatrist

immediately. Not only did he think I wouldn't know it was him, but

look at the length of it! Not that he has a mind keen enough to come

up with such a lengthy screed, but instead he probably sent it from

one of those generic insult websites that has everything pre-

written. That this individual would do such a thing is so utterly

childish and unprofessional is not surprising. You are the biggest

discredit to astrology I or anyone in the profession has ever run

across, but I'm so very happy that you have shown your true colors.

It's kind of like how a dog doesn't know he's taking a stinky shit in

front of the King.

 

I beg anyone who might be on this list that knows this individual

personally to immediately phone the psych ward and get him help

before he hurts himself.

 

-

 

 

13 Jan 2003 16:53:54 -0000

edaculeus

00004777 | This is Spam | Add to Address Book

FREAK! (was: Re: Re: ED........)

 

 

 

 

The FREAK, Ed Kohout <crumpo, at 08:02 AM 1/13/2003,

spewed

forth the following inane comments:

>Well well.

>

>This latest screed proves that you are basically insane and

>emotionally troubled, and that you not only have no grasp of

>astrology, but even less in the way of temprament.

>

>You're simply nuts, bonkers, not playing with a full deck, coo-coo,

>and surely the fourth Musketeer of _, joining

>Damon, Jivio, and the Wing as far as having copious amounts of

>irrelevance and the ability to whine like an old lady in some cramped

>assisted living home.

 

 

You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You

worthless bag of filth. As is said in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't

pour

piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. You are a

canker. A

sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer on the lips

than

be

seen with you.

 

You are a fiend and a sniveling, back-boneless coward, and you have

bad

breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased

just

for

knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody

nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature

of

a

coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. And I wish you would go

away.

 

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless

little

worm

deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a

cad,

a

weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a

revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime

twist.

 

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared

richly

with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this

world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned

by

the

puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed

themselves

in

regret for what they had done.

 

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same

species as

you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very

thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid

you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a

weed,

a

fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I

mention you smell?

 

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating

one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before

attempting to

impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a

nincompoop

will

still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it

more

rapidly.

 

You snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive

its

beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly

briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame

of

your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea

of

your

own trite, foolish beliefs.

 

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,

nasty

and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an

ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with

you. Your hand even refuses autoerotism. You are unreservedly

pathetic,

starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

 

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important

statements of

unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do

you

hold

that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more

weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a

circle,

waiting for the bite of the snake?

 

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous

and

obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a

living

emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a

disease,

you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

 

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are

deficient

in all that lends character. You have the personality of

wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted.

You

are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow

wherever you go.

 

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard

stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes

way

beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of

stupid.

You

are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so

far

that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten

so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing

hot

mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid

in

one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.

Your

writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be

this

stupid.

 

Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang

of

stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything

else

as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't

go

on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not

hear

from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to

deride

your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant

trivia,

or any of the rest of your drivel.

 

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped

away

most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say

anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative story was pitiful.

I

mean, really, stringing together a bunch of words among a load of

babbling

was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have

learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.

True,

these are rudimentary skills that many of us " normal " people take for

granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes

forget that there are " challenged " persons in this world who find

these

things more difficult. If I had known that this was your

case, then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have

been

" right. " Sort of like parking in a handicapped space.

 

I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles

that

seem to be placing such a demand on you (like passing gas, for

instance).

 

In short, if I traded you for shit, I would lose the container I

brought

you in. Otherwise, have a good day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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