Jokes for 2Day.

[Guest guest]

With This Ring

My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So, one evening, I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage.

"With this ring," I began romantically.

"We could pay off the Visa," he responded.

 

Sin of Lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

 

Boss

 

 

 

 

 

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:'I'm afraid he died last week.' she explains.The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.'I told you' the wife replies, 'he died last week.'

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:'I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?'.........'Coz . . .' he replied laughing, 'I just love hearing it. . . .'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phone Bill

 

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting

On a Saturday morning after breakfast...Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.Maid: So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones !!!!!

 

 

Never Lie to Your Wife

 

A man called home to his wife and said, ' Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up'

' Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. ' The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good . The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish.. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?' (You'll love the answer...) The wife replied, 'I did. They're in your fishing box ...