Guest guest Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 Friends, Our guide here, Bhaskarji, has been saying something which I have appreciated. He has never tired of saying that this Group, Jyotish Ganga, is like a garden where everyone is welcome to visit and enjoy the beauty of knowledge and spirituality. Of late, a lot of controversies, unwanted and unnecessary, have cropped up, somewhat spoiling the cordial atmosphere which was developing amongst us. There have to aberrations in any family or group, and it happened here also. The reason, in my opinion was the way we judge others - from our own view point and not from a broad perspective. Sorry Bhaskarji, if I seem to have in any way differed from your stated stand on matters like these and do not wish to get into a discussion on the virtues of your actions and outbursts. To illustrate my point, I have come across a story, an old one though, but in wide circulation of late, which carries a message for all of us - our expectations and the resultant actions and reactions. Hope you will enjoy reading this. Regards, Naresh ================================================================= A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their olduniversity professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work andlife. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a largepot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plainlooking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behindthe plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves,that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just moreexpensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wantedwas coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then youbegan eyeing each others' cups." Now consider this: Life is the coffee. The jobs, money and position in society are thecups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does notdefine, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor thecoffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They justmake the best of everything. ================================================================ Check out the all-new Messenger 9.0! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2009 Report Share Posted March 12, 2009 Nareshji I too have read this story often,and it felt nice to read it again...I agree with what U say...Of late, a lot of controversies, unwanted and unnecessary, have cropped up, somewhat spoiling the cordial atmosphere which was developing amongst us. There have to aberrations in any family or group, and it happened here also. The reason, in my opinion was the way we judge others - from our own view point and not from a broad perspective. A friend has written in another group I'll like to share her/his ?? viewpoints with all of U.... .. Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling— and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior. Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation " at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose Even a pattern of relating that is 30years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt. The resolve to be treated with dignity and respect must be uncompromising. The worst thing you could do is make a lot of noise about changing things, only to revert to the old, familiar, destructive patterns. To talk about change and not to do it is to teach that person to treat your statements and declarations lightly. You will teach him or her to be patient, confident that you will soon give in. Where your relationship standards are concerned, commit to yourself that, although it may be difficult to effect change, you must not compromise. To compromise in this area is to sell out your most precious commodity: YOU! --- On Wed, 3/11/09, Naresh Mintri <nareshmintri wrote: Naresh Mintri <nareshmintri A story with a message"Jyotishgroup" <jyotish_ganga >Cc: "Bhaskarji" <bhaskar_jyotishWednesday, March 11, 2009, 10:26 AM Friends, Our guide here, Bhaskarji, has been saying something which I have appreciated. He has never tired of saying that this Group, Jyotish Ganga, is like a garden where everyone is welcome to visit and enjoy the beauty of knowledge and spirituality. Of late, a lot of controversies, unwanted and unnecessary, have cropped up, somewhat spoiling the cordial atmosphere which was developing amongst us. There have to aberrations in any family or group, and it happened here also. The reason, in my opinion was the way we judge others - from our own view point and not from a broad perspective. Sorry Bhaskarji, if I seem to have in any way differed from your stated stand on matters like these and do not wish to get into a discussion on the virtues of your actions and outbursts. To illustrate my point, I have come across a story, an old one though, but in wide circulation of late, which carries a message for all of us - our expectations and the resultant actions and reactions. Hope you will enjoy reading this. Regards, Naresh ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======== A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their olduniversity professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work andlife. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a largepot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plainlooking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behindthe plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves,that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just moreexpensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wantedwas coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then youbegan eyeing each others' cups." Now consider this: Life is the coffee. The jobs, money and position in society are thecups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does notdefine, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor thecoffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They justmake the best of everything. ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======= Check out the all-new Messenger 9.0! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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