Guest guest Posted April 19, 2001 Report Share Posted April 19, 2001 Henry, The events I've described took place about 29 years ago. They mark the beginning of my spiritual journey, which has not yet come to an end. As for the fear, it long ago dissolved, and I have been fine in that regard since a few months after the story began. One thing that helped me a lot was the following: When I asked myself what would really happen when I died, one answer that consistently arose and I felt intuitively was correct, was that I would return to wherever I was before I was born. This immediately sounded okay to me; though, of course, I remember nothing about the state I was in before I was born, I somehow felt it was good, safe and in fact, perfect. So, to return there could be nothing but a good and pleasant thing. And, no matter how many times I revisit this line of questioning or reasoning, I always come to that same conclusion. So, being dead cannot be a bad thing. I still have the usual personal fears about dying a painful, violent or horrible death (murder, plane crash, car crash, etc.), which would of course be very unpleasant. But death as a state is not something I fear. In fact, it strikes me as a lot safer, more peaceful and pleasant than life. I hope this helps you; good luck. Michael >Hi, > >A friend forward your message to me, because he knew that i had the same >fear of dead when i was ten. Nice to know that there are somebody out >there... .. thinking and feel the same... > >Did you find your solution yet? > >Henry > > >> MSouther >> >> >> When I was 17 I realized I was going to die. I was watching a >> film at school, and it was set in the civil war. Some Union >> soldiers had captured a Confederate soldier and were going to >> hang him. They set up a rope on a bridge going over a fast >> moving river. >> >> However, at the moment they strung him up, the rope suddenly >> broke instead, and he fell into the swiftly moving water and >> managed to escape downstream. >> >> He made his way back home, but at the moment he came to the >> front door and was about to embrace his surprised wife, he >> suddenly was back at the bridge, hanging by his neck. The >> entire escape had been a fantasy. >> >> The film ended and I thought about it. I thought " could this be the >> type of thing that happens when one dies? " The answer >> immediately popped into my head: " Well, you're going to find >> out. " At that moment I was struck with the absolute inevitability of >> my personal death. It was very, very disturbing and scared the >> hell out of me. >> >> I pushed it aside as best I could, and went on with the rest of my >> day. However, that evening it all came back in full force and >> could not be ignored. I was terrified. >> >> I quickly realized I had to figure out what death really was, and >> what the full import of my new awareness of it was. For >> example, I saw that since the world only existed for me when I >> was there to see it, for all intents and purposes, if I ceased to >> exist, so did the world. The world immediately assumed an >> unreal, dreamlike aspect. If it was all temporary, dependent on >> me, how could it be real? It even seemed that it shimmered a bit >> when I looked at it, like a mirage. >> >> I tried to explain my fear and the reason for it to other people, but >> nobody seemed to understand. It was clear to me that they had >> never faced the stark reality of personal death. They were lying to >> themselves when they said things like " I don't really fear >> death. " >> They were ignoring the obvious. >> >> It took me many months to get this constant terror under control. >> I was driven to eastern philosophy, religion, metaphysics, etc. >> out of a definite need; otherwise, I would literally come apart from >> the strong vibration of the fear. >> >> And I did find some comfort in these areas. I found descriptions >> of the void, and how everything really was this nothingness; this >> jibed with my feeling of the world's dreamlike quality and its >> dependence on me for its existence. However, I didn't think that >> the outer world would actually disappear on my death; it would >> only disappear from my point of view. >> >> I found an emphasis on living in the present moment, which >> amounted to another way of pushing the fear out of my >> awareness, a tool for me to use. >> >> As I dealt with this fear and its ramifications, I felt that the >> concerns of the other, normal, people around me were utterly >> and absolutely petty. I knew that they had not (yet) dealt with this >> fear; they were simply hiding it from themselves. This was how >> they continued to function. >> >> Enough for now, >> >> Michael Souther >> >> > >_______________ ________________ >Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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