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Nisargadatta, michael@p... wrote:

> My greatest desire AND fear

> is the " absence " of myself.

>

> Michael

 

Let me describe " what happened in my case. " I had some fantasy about

what " absence of myself " would be like... thinking it would be

like " a gaping hole remaining " or a feeling something critical was

missing. But the fact is, if there's nobody to miss it, how

will " you " care, if there's no " you " to care about it?

 

This is the " critical " part: The " you " is the " empty space inside "

which is always wanting, wanting for something, always desiring.

That is the " you, " believe it or not.

 

" Things " (to whatever extent they are, who knows) turned out to be

the direct opposite of what was imagined -- quite literally, point

blank opposite of the idea of it.

 

Go with the desire and drop the fear, trust. " No doer " or " no me " is

nothing like the future-projection being created. You are basing

ideas of " no me " on past experiences or hear-say.

 

Love,

 

Tim

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At 03:10 PM 4/17/01 -0000, you wrote:

>Nisargadatta, michael@p... wrote:

>> My greatest desire AND fear

>> is the " absence " of myself.

>>

>> Michael

>

>Let me describe " what happened in my case. " I had some fantasy about

>what " absence of myself " would be like... thinking it would be

>like " a gaping hole remaining " or a feeling something critical was

>missing. But the fact is, if there's nobody to miss it, how

>will " you " care, if there's no " you " to care about it?

 

Isn't this a little like dying to each moment, dying to the past memories

and to future hopes? All the ideas and concepts that have been drilled

into my head for eons. Why wouldn't I be afraid of losing myslelf even if

I didn't like that self that was to be lost?

 

>This is the " critical " part: The " you " is the " empty space inside "

>which is always wanting, wanting for something, always desiring.

>That is the " you, " believe it or not.

 

My understanding is that this " you " is what is labeled as ego.

The real me doesn't want, doesn't desire, because it knows it

is all that is, was and will be.

 

 

> " Things " (to whatever extent they are, who knows) turned out to be

>the direct opposite of what was imagined -- quite literally, point

>blank opposite of the idea of it.

>

>Go with the desire and drop the fear, trust. " No doer " or " no me " is

>nothing like the future-projection being created. You are basing

>ideas of " no me " on past experiences or hear-say.

 

So true Tim, but what else is there to base ideas on?

What others say.

What others have experienced.

Wisdom borrowed must be returned some day

and that day may find me with nothing to give.

 

Namaste,

 

Michael

 

>

>Love,

>

>Tim

>

>

>

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