Judi's Ghost?

April 10, 2003

Hi Judi,

now it is my turn to say .. YOU do not understand!

I have read what you offered here, and I have read your site from top to bottom, several times. You are not offering me anything more than what I have seen written in many other places, in other words what you are offering is not unique. Well, apart from the abuse that is, that is uniquely yours. However, YOU are unique, as indeed we ALL are. As much as I can from what you show me here and at your site, I do understand you. This understanding arises from recognising that I am "all that is" and in doing so, I also recognise that every other person on this earth is also "all that is". So in recognising the uniqueness of others, I seek to treat them as I would like to be treated .. this is not about kowtowing to others, or seeking to anchor my identity through them, or needing them to make me feel worthwhile, it is about respect for my fellow journeymen and an acceptance of where they are on their path right now, and having no need to change them as they are exactly where they need and choose to be. As much as I am "god", they are also, your theology seems to have missed this point entirely.

You have a great need to change others, your site screams that at me, why is that? If you practiced what you preach, and take every thought we have and turn it inwards, you may just see its because you need to change self. Your "realisation" has not bought you peace .. you sit there and type these words at us, and construct an entire site, which says "look arent I clever, I am realised" on the one hand, yet on the other you say "youre a dickhead cos youre not doing in MY way". But you totally fail to understand that what works for you Judi, will not work for all and sundry. We all have to do it in our own way, and in our own time.

Notice I have not labelled you .. I could say you are this or that, I could say you are many things, oh so many things - you give me so much ammunition. But I do not, I accept you exactly as you are. You dish out your sad angry words to us here, and ask us to accept that your way is the best way, and everything else is crap. Why is that? Is it because you are angry at us because we do not "get it" - if so, what is the source of that anger? Do you need us to recognise that YOU have "got it", and we are not giving you that recognition ... if so, then thats a very insecure place youre at. Or is it because you want us to treat you, the way you treat us? If that is the case - why do you need our anger? Why do you need to feed on our anger, is it what makes you happy?

In your dialogue you said "Bring everything up until you are absolutely, utterly heartbroken and be done with it!" So you have been to a place of utter heartbreak have you? Well guess what, I think we've all been there, its nothing special, it hurts and you come out of it a better person, hopefully, or, you get sick and you die. If you survive, and are aware enough to ask "why did {I} choose this pain" you take your heartbreak and you examine it, you poke it, you prod it, you pull it to pieces, you come to terms with it, then you let it go, and move on. Exactly as you said in your dialogue. Youre not telling me anything new, this process have been written about since the beginning of theology. But usually somewhere through this process you develop a thing called compassion, and IMHO if you havent got compassion, you havent been truly heartbroken, yet.

You also speak of "trying to make the story work out one way or another" ... by another name, this would be expectation. What is your expectation of us Judi? I doubt you will answer any of these questions, so I will answer this one for you, I think you will say you have no expectation of us, and if that is the case, then why are you here?

Hehe .. my daily guru email just arrived .. it says "Anyone who can be told he is on the wrong path and does not take offence, is already approaching the right path. This is a sign the ego is losing power, because only the ego gets offended when it is told it is wrong". Hmmm ...

deb

"Watch your thoughts, words and actions very carefully. Know the power of words and use them cautiously. Respect all. Speak sweet measured words. Be kind; cultivate patience, love and humility. Enquire 'Who am I?'" - Swami Sivananda

Dear Friends, I'm addressing this to you mature, sincere folks out there who are serious about this "realization" or "enlightenment" business and just might happen to have your ears on right now, as you're reading what I have to say. I am not addressing this to the hysterical neurotics, the lovelorn, the sob sisters, the insecure, the angry, the know-it-alls, the distrustful ax-grinders, the smiley guys, the "oh yes, life is great, hallelujah" gang -- in other words, the general run of mental-emotional basket cases, that we see so often in so -called "spiritual." circles. I hold out no hope for them. They're busy doing whatever kind of nonsense they're about. If they had half a brain to begin with they wouldn't be doing that in the first place. Let's face it, this is not for everybody -- so let's move on.

April 10, 2003

Howdy Alton ole bud,

Well you've certainly arrived with fireworks.

Welcome to this mail group. As moderator of this group,

I have to ask you to please avoid attacking Judi on a

personal level. If you want to question her about her

state, that's fine, but please avoid insults and hurtful

personal characterizations.

Okay, now I'm taking my moderator hat off. From here on,

I'm just another jerky guy with opinions. What in the world

makes you so angry at Judi? What horrible crime did she

commit?

Your letter is vibrantly accusatory, but I had to read it three

times to figure out *what* you are accusing her of.

Apparently her crime is that she claims to be enlightened.

This is a crime?

In my humble opinion, Judi *is* enlightened, but even if

she isn't, so what? Where's the crime?

Did she sexually abuse children, like some gurus? Did she

con her followers into tithing their children's breakfast

money?

Aloha buddy,