Amma in San Ramon

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya,

 

Just wanted to fill y'all in. I've been in so much intense back pain

that I haven't spent a whole lot of time around Amma so far. My mom is

here with us, and tomorrow morning we are all flying up to Seattle to

spend thanksgiving with my family, then back on friday in time for

Devi.

 

Sunday I was really purifying, so grumpy and on edge. Couldn't get out

of the "poor me" mode. Had darshan with Anaghan that night, and was

suprised to find it not the usual intense, earth shattering experience

it usually is for me. But it was nice, and Amma seemed happy to see us.

 

Yesterday we skipped the morning programs (today too) and rested, but I

was still in bad shape physically. But I felt great otherwise, happy. I

sat with Amalia during bhajans and felt quite content in my body, as

though my relationship to the pain had shifted. I watched Amma very

carefully, saw her using her wonderful vocabulary of Amma-isms; facial

expressions, sounds, gestures, that make her so lovely. But there was

not the intense longing to be near her, something has shifted and I

couldn't put it into words. I didn't go for darshan. She was just as

wonderful as ever, but seemed to be almost holographic. I can't

explain. Around midnight I became aware that I was really pushing my

body too far and needed to rest, so we left around 1:00am and were home

by 2:00.

 

I put it into words finally, realizing that I don't need to be around

Amma to be with Amma. Since she made such a big point this summer of

telling me to cultivate vairagya and abhyasa (dispassion and

consistency in sadhana), I have done my best, and so far the result

seems to be that the inner connection is more readily available.

 

One interesting thing; Gayatri came to the Sunday morning program, and

sat next to Amma for a long time. This is second hand news, I didn't

actually recognize her, but it was sort of the "talk of the town". I

never met Gayatri, but of course read about her in so many Amma books,

and always wondered if she would come back to see Amma ever. I feel

happy for their physical reunion and hope that Gayatri had a good

experience and felt welcomed and uplifted here.

 

I also wanted to just say thanks again for everyone's emails re: my car

accident. It was very moving and brought me a lot of joy and comfort.

You are all so loving and I really appreciate it. Still no car, but we

shall see what happens after the holiday. I'll keep you posted. I've

been receiving various kinds of body work, and am learning how to be

gentle and respectful of the healing process.

 

love,

Prajna

[Guest guest]

Om Namah Sivaya,

Thank you so much Prashanti. For those of us who

haven't yet seen Amma on this tour, these beautiful

words helped us to be'almost'be in Her Presence.

Suja.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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