My Amma Doll Stories

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya,

 

There was something about the summer 2004 tour that made it the best

one ever for me. My Ma's grace, I was able to do Seattle, San Ramon,

LA and New Mexico. I didn't know many people around Amma at that

time, which was part of the blessing because I was really focused on

Her, and my back was in good shape for once so I was able to do lots

of seva, which really brought me deeper.

 

I thought that LA was going to be where Amma and I would part ways,

and I remember walking around the bookstore grieving and hurting so

much inside. How could I live without her for yet another grueling

five months? Pure agony.... At that exact moment a small Amma doll

fell off the doll table as I was walking past it. I bent down to

pick it up and put it back, but the doll was actually emanating the

highest, purest, loving energy. I felt immediate reassurance of

Amma's presence just by holding the doll in my hands.

 

I had liked the dolls, but they were really not in my league,

financially. If I bought this doll, I would not have any more money,

so it seemed impractical and childish of me to even consider it. But

I could NOT put that doll down, no matter how I reasoned with

myself. She had this expression that seemed different from the

others dolls... this was REALLY looked like Amma to me. I hugged

her, and immediately felt Amma's love and grace. Now I really wanted

her, but decided not to waste the money on a child's toy, and put

her back on the table and continued to walk around, pining away. But

when I came to the doll table, she fell off again! The lady laughed

and said that Amma was trying to tell me something. No kidding! So I

bought the doll and took it up to Amma for what I thought would be

my final darshan that summer.

 

Amma blessed the doll with a dot of sandalwood paste and gave me a

big smile, and a very long darshan. She held me and rubbed my back

and kissed my cheek. She was so sweet and gentle with me in my

fragile state of grief. I left the Devi Bhava quite exhausted and

sad. On the train ride home, I held my Amma doll tight, not caring

what anybody thought of a grown woman clutching a doll. It seemed

like there was absolutely no difference between "Amma" and

the "doll." I told her how I wished that I could go to New Mexico,

how I just didn't feel ready to leave the tour. I was out of money,

but it just didn't seem right that Amma was leaving me. The doll

just smiled at me with her little expression of serenity.

 

When I got home, weary and hungry, I raced through the courtyard of

our building, in tears. I got all the way up the three floors to my

apartment, when I realized that my Amma doll had fallen from my

hands. I looked down into the courtyard and saw her lying next to

the mailboxes. So I went down and grabbed her, and checked the mail

while I was there. To my suprise, there was a check for four hundred

dollars for me, from work that I had done months previously. It was

just enough for a greyhound ticket and a retreat in New Mexico!

 

That LA DB was actually the night that I met my husband, so in New

Mexico we got to spend a little bit more time getting to know

eachother. I was also able to be there for my first Guru Purnima,

and for Amma singing Mahishasura Mardini, which was one of the best

experiences ever.

 

The doll slept in my arms every night since then, and has been a

constant support. But this summer in Chicago, I kept seeing this

medium Amma doll in a Kali Bhava outfit on the doll table. She

seemed the picture of Vairagya, and I was powerfully drawn to her,

but felt it was silly to have two Amma dolls. But my mom offered to

get her for me as a gift, which was extra special because I think it

was the first doll my mom ever bought me, since we were not together

while I was a child. She bought one too, and we had lots of fun

playing dress up with them in our hotel room. This new doll, being a

little bigger, is very huggable and cuddly. Somehow they got the

body just right so that it really feels like Amma. I love having two

Amma dolls, and they take turns in the bed or on the altar. They

keep me thinking about Amma all through the night.

 

I could say so much more about Amma dolls, they really are so

special, but my CTS is flaring up so I'll leave it at that.

 

love,

 

Prajna

[Guest guest]

Dear Prajna, thanks so much for sharing your wonderful Amma dolls stories. I specially like that you didn't care what anyone thought when you carried her home on the train. That is the essence of mother love. A mother gives no thought to what other people think when it comes to her children.

How empowering for you to experience that "caution to the wind" breeze in your life.

JAI MA!!!!!

 

 

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

[Guest guest]

Dear Prajna,

I loved this story. Thank you for sharing it with us. All my life i

have always loved cloth and "rag dolls" and primitive dolls made of found

materials. So when i first saw the Amma dolls, i just HAD to have one! I

bought my doll 3 years ago, the first time i saw Amma at the public

service in Boston. I could only afford the small one, and didn't know

that before you take them home, Amma liked to bless the dolls when you

buy them. I bought my doll, had my first darshan, and then went to pick

up my doll. Well! Didn't they send me right back to Mother with a promise

that i would get that little doll blessed! I waited while they brought

the doll to Amma and She placed the sandalwood paste on her forehead, and

flashed a beautiful smile at me. This year i really wanted to buy a

bigger doll, but reasoned with myself that i really didn't need TWO

dolls! Instead, i bought my little Amma doll a sweet home made sweater.

But since then i have regretted that decision, and have already decided

when i see Amma again next Summer, i will buy that bigger Amma doll! I am

one of the fortunate ones who is able to see Amma and to be in Her

physical Presence, but it is only once a year. It is an incredibly long

wait. So in my opinion, you can never have enough of Amma's Energy around

you! In Her Service, mare

 

On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 18:46:40 -0000 "Prajna" <prajnaji > writes:

> Namah Shivaya,

>

> There was something about the summer 2004 tour that made it the best

> one ever for me. My Ma's grace, I was able to do Seattle, San Ramon,

> LA and New Mexico. I didn't know many people around Amma at that

> time, which was part of the blessing because I was really focused on

> Her, and my back was in good shape for once so I was able to do lots

> of seva, which really brought me deeper.

> I thought that LA was going to be where Amma and I would part ways,

> and I remember walking around the bookstore grieving and hurting so

> much inside. How could I live without her for yet another grueling

> five months? Pure agony.... At that exact moment a small Amma doll

> fell off the doll table as I was walking past it. I bent down to

> pick it up and put it back, but the doll was actually emanating the

> highest, purest, loving energy. I felt immediate reassurance of

> Amma's presence just by holding the doll in my hands.