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disruptive children at satsang -Prajna

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sounds like Amma is working thru Sammy. maybe the satsang members

should not scold the children but thank the kids for helping teach

them to turn their attention inward away from the external. :>)

 

 

Ammachi, Prajna - Brianna <prajnaji

wrote:

>

> As a step-parent of one of the children at the MA Center who is

often viewed as disruptive, I'd like to share a few thoughts. Every

time we go to the ashram we go over the "rules" we've established

for her, which are; no running, no yelling/screaming, be very quiet

during the quiet times (i.e. no music playing) and be respectful of

other people. She is very clear about this, but what happens is that

all the kids get together and they just behave the way kids do. They

start having a good time, their voices get louder, and their bodies

move faster, and before you know it they or one of the parents is

getting yelled at by someone.

>

> I'm not exaggerating, I have personally been yelled at,

criticized, called names (neglectful parent is one of my favorites),

and so has my husband and his daughter, the latter being the most

disturbing as people take it upon themselves to discipline other

people's kids.

>

> The other option is to do what I see sometimes, which is parents

keeping their kids in their laps for the whole satsang, while they

wistfully observe the other kids playing together. It's really hard

because there is no kids program during satsang, it's a long time to

sit quietly. I remember being taken to church a few times as a kid

and thinking that it was the most boring place I'd ever been. But

Sammy can't wait to go to Amma's. She has such a hard life at her

Mom's, who has 70% custody of her. Amma, the MA Center, and her

friends there are such a refuge for her. Just this morning she was

crying, telling me that she didn't want to go to daycare because the

other kids tease her about Amma. But when we go to satsang, the

other kids love Amma too, and they really love to talk about her and

pretend they are Amma! How can we take this away from her by making

her sit down and be quiet during the only two nights a month that

she feels free to be herself?

>

> Sammy is often upset about what her Mom says about Amma and

about me and her dad, that Amma is Satan and that her dad and I are

going to hell. She doesn't believe it, but it really upsets her. Her

mom won't let her have any Amma pictures, or keep her Amma doll

there. Once she brought the doll home and her mom tried to throw it

in a dumpster, but Sammy cried so much she finally took it out, but

made her leave it at our house. Sammy loves Amma so much, and always

says how good it feels to come to our house and sing bhajans with us

and be around Amma's pictures.

>

> At satsang, Sammy always sits down near the stage for the arati

and sits with her palms together to sing. You might see her running

or yelling now and then, but please try to understand that it's just

because she is so excited and happy to be somewhere that she feels

so safe and accepted. We remind her to be quiet and calm as much as

we can, but we will not force her to behave in a way that

disconnects her from such an important experience, to the extent

that she is not harming anyone. It's also really hard for Sammy to

stick to our rules when all of the other kids are going nuts.

>

> I am really sorry if she or the other children have disturbed

the focus and concentration of any of Amma's devotees. I think that

it would be really great to have some clear and official rules for

all the kids, that satsang members could feel free to remind the

kids about as needed, but it's really upsetting to see someone

holding your kids arm and giving them the third degree for acting

like a kid. This type of behavior is also totally unacceptable.

>

> love,

>

> Prajna

>

>

> "Children, all of spirituality is contained in that one word:

Awareness." - Amma

>

>

>

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I'm sorry Sammy has to go through such a hard time, and you too. Are there

enough kids for there to be some kind of kids satsang? At least for

part of the time?

 

Different people have different levels of noise tolerance. I was once

scolded in quite a nasty manner because a new person was crying -

she had been in an auto accident and had extensive brain damage,

and I was attempting to console her. We were whispering, but

still the noise police (someone sitting in front of us) had to scold us.

I felt so bad for this new woman and her plight - and I don't

think she felt very welcome with someone telling her in such

a harsh manner to be quiet. Whispering and quiet weeping during

darshan? - come on!

 

On the other hand I've seen kids come close to sliding under the

rail and off the balcony - no parent in sight. That was a scary

sight. So it is a dilemma.

 

Jai Ma!

Prasadini

 

ecjensen_us wrote:

>

> sounds like Amma is working thru Sammy. maybe the satsang members

> should not scold the children but thank the kids for helping teach

> them to turn their attention inward away from the external. :>)

>

> Ammachi <Ammachi%40>,

> Prajna - Brianna <prajnaji

> wrote:

> >

> > As a step-parent of one of the children at the MA Center who is

> often viewed as disruptive, I'd like to share a few thoughts. Every

> time we go to the ashram we go over the "rules" we've established

> for her, which are; no running, no yelling/screaming, be very quiet

> during the quiet times (i.e. no music playing) and be respectful of

> other people. She is very clear about this, but what happens is that

> all the kids get together and they just behave the way kids do. They

> start having a good time, their voices get louder, and their bodies

> move faster, and before you know it they or one of the parents is

> getting yelled at by someone.

> >

> > I'm not exaggerating, I have personally been yelled at,

> criticized, called names (neglectful parent is one of my favorites),

> and so has my husband and his daughter, the latter being the most

> disturbing as people take it upon themselves to discipline other

> people's kids.

> >

> > The other option is to do what I see sometimes, which is parents

> keeping their kids in their laps for the whole satsang, while they

> wistfully observe the other kids playing together. It's really hard

> because there is no kids program during satsang, it's a long time to

> sit quietly. I remember being taken to church a few times as a kid

> and thinking that it was the most boring place I'd ever been. But

> Sammy can't wait to go to Amma's. She has such a hard life at her

> Mom's, who has 70% custody of her. Amma, the MA Center, and her

> friends there are such a refuge for her. Just this morning she was

> crying, telling me that she didn't want to go to daycare because the

> other kids tease her about Amma. But when we go to satsang, the

> other kids love Amma too, and they really love to talk about her and

> pretend they are Amma! How can we take this away from her by making

> her sit down and be quiet during the only two nights a month that

> she feels free to be herself?

> >

> > Sammy is often upset about what her Mom says about Amma and

> about me and her dad, that Amma is Satan and that her dad and I are

> going to hell. She doesn't believe it, but it really upsets her. Her

> mom won't let her have any Amma pictures, or keep her Amma doll

> there. Once she brought the doll home and her mom tried to throw it

> in a dumpster, but Sammy cried so much she finally took it out, but

> made her leave it at our house. Sammy loves Amma so much, and always

> says how good it feels to come to our house and sing bhajans with us

> and be around Amma's pictures.

> >

> > At satsang, Sammy always sits down near the stage for the arati

> and sits with her palms together to sing. You might see her running

> or yelling now and then, but please try to understand that it's just

> because she is so excited and happy to be somewhere that she feels

> so safe and accepted. We remind her to be quiet and calm as much as

> we can, but we will not force her to behave in a way that

> disconnects her from such an important experience, to the extent

> that she is not harming anyone. It's also really hard for Sammy to

> stick to our rules when all of the other kids are going nuts.

> >

> > I am really sorry if she or the other children have disturbed

> the focus and concentration of any of Amma's devotees. I think that

> it would be really great to have some clear and official rules for

> all the kids, that satsang members could feel free to remind the

> kids about as needed, but it's really upsetting to see someone

> holding your kids arm and giving them the third degree for acting

> like a kid. This type of behavior is also totally unacceptable.

> >

> > love,

> >

> > Prajna

> >

> >

> > "Children, all of spirituality is contained in that one word:

> Awareness." - Amma

> >

> >

> >

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Namah Shivaya,

 

It would be helpful for the kids to have a space, &, or time, to be active & noisey. Yet, still have a time & place of quiet refuge for adults. I love spending time with children, but think that all of our needs need to be balanced.

 

It's not kids who I've felt were most distracting. I've felt more distracted by adults, who do such things as carry on loud conversations during bhajans, or are making unnecessary sounds, won't specify since it could single out someone), during meditation or chanting. It's easier for me to accept the noises that children make, since they don't normally have the discrimination to know better. It's harder when adults act as children, & adults can be louder.

 

My opinion is also that it would be good to have a base of expected rules of conduct, but that would be for adults, as well as for children.

 

Sweta

 

ecjensen_us <ecjensen_us > wrote: sounds like Amma is working thru Sammy. maybe the satsang members

should not scold the children but thank the kids for helping teach

them to turn their attention inward away from the external. :>)

 

Ammachi, Prajna - Brianna <prajnaji

wrote:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Om Namah Shivaya:

 

As someone mentioned we all have

different levels of noise tolerance.

 

Personally I have never scolded

a parent or child at any Amma event.

 

On Saturday night I did not even turn

my head or make a face.

 

It is clear that an Amma Satsang is

not a quiet meditative environment.

Shakti seems to electrify the room coupled

with Mother's subtle vibration of tranquility

(What a strange brew!)

 

Nevertheles I think most devotees feel

that any noise by childrent during "sacred"

moments of Program are somewhat regrettable.

 

Personally they would be Arati,

Amma meditating and Group

prayer or and Guided Meditating

Sessions.

 

At other times I am not disturbed

by running screaming children at all.

I actually enjoy watching the munchkins

having fun. Personally I often feel

Amma is communicating (to me) that

I need to loosen up and be more

gleefully spontaneous (like the little

krishnas and gopis.

 

Children are a joy for this Son.

 

But Arati is nicer in Silence.

Group prayer is a sweet opportunity

to tune in to Her Compassion.

 

Nevertheless stuff happens (I used

the nice S word)

 

With Love,

 

GeorgeSon

Chitanand

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