disruptive children at satsang

August 14, 2006

As a step-parent of one of the children at the MA Center who is often viewed as disruptive, I'd like to share a few thoughts. Every time we go to the ashram we go over the "rules" we've established for her, which are; no running, no yelling/screaming, be very quiet during the quiet times (i.e. no music playing) and be respectful of other people. She is very clear about this, but what happens is that all the kids get together and they just behave the way kids do. They start having a good time, their voices get louder, and their bodies move faster, and before you know it they or one of the parents is getting yelled at by someone.

I'm not exaggerating, I have personally been yelled at, criticized, called names (neglectful parent is one of my favorites), and so has my husband and his daughter, the latter being the most disturbing as people take it upon themselves to discipline other people's kids.

The other option is to do what I see sometimes, which is parents keeping their kids in their laps for the whole satsang, while they wistfully observe the other kids playing together. It's really hard because there is no kids program during satsang, it's a long time to sit quietly. I remember being taken to church a few times as a kid and thinking that it was the most boring place I'd ever been. But Sammy can't wait to go to Amma's. She has such a hard life at her Mom's, who has 70% custody of her. Amma, the MA Center, and her friends there are such a refuge for her. Just this morning she was crying, telling me that she didn't want to go to daycare because the other kids tease her about Amma. But when we go to satsang, the other kids love Amma too, and they really love to talk about her and pretend they are Amma! How can we take this away from her by making her sit down and be quiet during the only two nights a month that she feels free to be herself?

Sammy is often upset about what her Mom says about Amma and about me and her dad, that Amma is Satan and that her dad and I are going to hell. She doesn't believe it, but it really upsets her. Her mom won't let her have any Amma pictures, or keep her Amma doll there. Once she brought the doll home and her mom tried to throw it in a dumpster, but Sammy cried so much she finally took it out, but made her leave it at our house. Sammy loves Amma so much, and always says how good it feels to come to our house and sing bhajans with us and be around Amma's pictures.

At satsang, Sammy always sits down near the stage for the arati and sits with her palms together to sing. You might see her running or yelling now and then, but please try to understand that it's just because she is so excited and happy to be somewhere that she feels so safe and accepted. We remind her to be quiet and calm as much as we can, but we will not force her to behave in a way that disconnects her from such an important experience, to the extent that she is not harming anyone. It's also really hard for Sammy to stick to our rules when all of the other kids are going nuts.

I am really sorry if she or the other children have disturbed the focus and concentration of any of Amma's devotees. I think that it would be really great to have some clear and official rules for all the kids, that satsang members could feel free to remind the kids about as needed, but it's really upsetting to see someone holding your kids arm and giving them the third degree for acting like a kid. This type of behavior is also totally unacceptable.

love,

Prajna

"Children, all of spirituality is contained in that one word: Awareness." - Amma