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the problem with praise (was FYI )

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In the unconditional/aware parenting school of thought, praise is

seen as problematical and based in judgment and what is taught

instead is acknowledgement which is a way to nurture others and

ourselves that is descriptive and nonjudgmental. It leaves room to

express our feelings. At the same time, acknowledgement promotes

internally anchored self-esteem.

 

Here's a summary of an article geared toward adult to adult

communication by Deanne Repich, the Director of the National

Institute of Anxiety and Stress. The full article can be found at:

 

http://www.conqueranxiety.com/The+Problem+with+Praise-FD9.html

 

The Problem with Praise:

 

Praise is often CONDITIONAL, Praise usually implies a JUDGMENT,

Praise conditions us to look OUTSIDE of ourselves for our feelings

of self-worth,Praise focuses on the END RESULT rather than the

process. Praise does not often see who we really are.

 

INSTEAD OF PRAISE:

 

Acknowledgement = Describe your observations, Reflect emotions,

Ask questions

 

Talking to Yourself and Others In a Nurturing Way --

Transforming Praise into Acknowledgement

Examples:

 

Acknowledgment: "You helped your coworker with his proposal. He

really appreciated it."

versus: Praise: "You're a nice person because you helped him with

his proposal."

 

Acknowledgment: "You've been working on conquering that fear for

several months, and now you have overcome it!"

versus: Praise: "You're such a brave person!"

 

The next time you hear yourself using praise in your self-talk

or in your dealings with others, try acknowledgement instead.

It is a freeing experience!

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Excellent article. Thanks for forwarding it. This reflects my thinking

too - I am regularly criticized for not praising; Of course this has

been addressed by Gurus like Osho before but nice to see it in another

context.

 

Ammachi, "amalia_darling94804"

<amaliadarling wrote:

>

> In the unconditional/aware parenting school of thought, praise is

> seen as problematical and based in judgment and what is taught

> instead is acknowledgement which is a way to nurture others and

> ourselves that is descriptive and nonjudgmental. It leaves room to

> express our feelings. At the same time, acknowledgement promotes

> internally anchored self-esteem.

>

> Here's a summary of an article geared toward adult to adult

> communication by Deanne Repich, the Director of the National

> Institute of Anxiety and Stress. The full article can be found at:

>

> http://www.conqueranxiety.com/The+Problem+with+Praise-FD9.html

>

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thankyou dear brother you have expanded this childs awareness.....a homeless

man was once asked ,"what is more important,to be praised, or just

acknowledged".his reply was that he just wanted a sandwhich and why did life

have to be so complicated?..

 

we are so intellectual sometimes.we "think" about stuff so much .AMMAs sun

is "thinking" about what you said and you will in turn "think" about what

this child has said..

 

who is willing to stop "thinking" and LIVE in their HEARTS?

 

 

 

 

 

 

>"Ravi Chivukula" <ravichivukula (AT) hotmail (DOT) com>

>Ammachi

>Ammachi

> Re: the problem with praise (was FYI )

>Wed, 28 Jun 2006 18:01:38 -0000

>

>Excellent article. Thanks for forwarding it. This reflects my thinking

>too - I am regularly criticized for not praising; Of course this has

>been addressed by Gurus like Osho before but nice to see it in another

>context.

>

>Ammachi, "amalia_darling94804"

><amaliadarling wrote:

> >

> > In the unconditional/aware parenting school of thought, praise is

> > seen as problematical and based in judgment and what is taught

> > instead is acknowledgement which is a way to nurture others and

> > ourselves that is descriptive and nonjudgmental. It leaves room to

> > express our feelings. At the same time, acknowledgement promotes

> > internally anchored self-esteem.

> >

> > Here's a summary of an article geared toward adult to adult

> > communication by Deanne Repich, the Director of the National

> > Institute of Anxiety and Stress. The full article can be found at:

> >

> > http://www.conqueranxiety.com/The+Problem+with+Praise-FD9.html

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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