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Namah Shivayah,

 

Here are some recent thoughts in relation to several things I think many here will identify

with. I was talking with another devotee of this feeling of "unworthiness" we can often be

struck with, not knowing how to process and open ourselves fully to such tremendous

grace. Then, this piece sort of spiralled out and was inspired after reading several posts

here on the group. I found the end of this piece was inspired very much by the works of

the devotees who recently brought homeless ammaschildren to Amma. I've been thinking

about it lately and feeling very inspired by all of these new projects.

 

Jai Ma!

 

Ananthasree

 

______________________________

 

In the cellar of me I am crouched and trembling,

I exhale smoke and my words are ashes

All I have been and known rattles my bones with regret

Tear me apart if you must, to dispel myself from me

Mother, I am the hunted sometimes

My own mind stalks me as I run

Through jungles of uncertainty

In dreams, I sink into muddy earth or

Cut my ankles on sharp sidewalks or

Abandoned glass and sometimes I am

Wandering through airports wanting to get

Home while having no home

I am not enough for you, my Mother

I am not enough for you.

Sometimes I fear my heart

Is a grey, slippery mass

Decorated only by punctures and ebony shadows

Throbbing only by its own sin and

Poisoning my blood, failing by the moment

In its tremendous love for you and I feel

That I am not enough for you.

Not worthy of your grace, your glance

How can I house you within me?

I have nothing but broken windows in here

Torn blankets for you to sleep on

Why do you still come, Mother?

There are one billion homes for you

Eager and pure, splendid and kind

I have nothing but love for you

And hunger for God

The

rest

of

me,

I've

wasted.

it hangs on me like loose, quivering skin

Yearning for the scythe of Kali

To cut it from me.

Come Kali, take this from me

Make me worthy of Mother

Make me worthy of You

Why do you swim in me?

There are pristine oceans of azure for you

There are rivers created by tears of bliss for you

I have nothing for you but that which you

Must destroy.

I have nothing for you but that which you

Must trample wildly upon.

I have nothing for you but that and love, my Mother

Please, tell me these are the gifts God so desires

 

Mother, once you told me:

"I live within you.

When you long for Me you long

To release Me from yourself

That you may see yourself before you

As Me. Because child, I

Am your very self. You don't remember

Where you came from child, look within me

And see where we all came from."

Oh, mother how I tremble by your words,

Afraid to look unflinchingly into that great sun

For fear of being blinded or struck

Dead and breathless by love itself.

Oh, Mother I will tell everyone there

Is no greater horror than that of

Seeing Truth and Love!

It burns the sockets of the eyes, turns the

Mind to ash, engulfs the heart with aching

And we weep and weep from exploding hearts

Dear Mother, I know why you are smiling!

You see before you your children,

hearts engulfed by flames, shaking and weeping before you,

prostrating, surrendering, serving, loving, creating, crying, hating, dying,

loving, thinking, preaching, planning, reaching, sinning, embracing, yearning,

fearing, birthing, satisfying, desiring, meditating, singing, praying, loving, loving

all by you, as you pull the strings and pull our hands to you

and there we are with you Mother, I think you smile so brightly

because your children are returning home…one by one

and they are weeping from your love, serving for your heart

and becoming you more and more every day

Oh, Mother the more we become of you

The quicker this obstinate longing will leave

For we will see you in ourselves and in everyone

We will see the beauty in both the candle and the

Wind that appears to destroy it

We will feel the blinding beauty of love and

The sharp sting of ignorance as you we will

See it all as you, as us, as That

And aspire only to Love

Aspire only to Truth

Aspire only to Serve

Aspire only to God.

Fully engulfed by you we will aspire

Only to tears if need be

Tears for the suffering.

Tears for the ignorance.

Tears for the sorrowful

Tears for God.

Mother, you know I bathe your feet in tears

And that I aspire to only love

I aspire only to inspire

Dear mother, give me the weakness to surrender to you

the strength to work for you,

the mind to absorb you

the hands to reach for you

and the faith to color my

final breath with images of your smile.

Mother, let my only purpose here

Be to exist

as one whom you twist and turn

bend and break

trample and embrace

Dear Mother, this love is archeology

So ancient and tender the

remains of "me"

Have followed you

Piling themselves at your feet for centuries

My Love, My all, My Self, My Mother

How do you bring your children to you so perfectly?

My mother, are you pleased?

All of your children are coming home

One by one and group by group

Hand in hand with other children

Who lead them to your arms

Your children are bringing

Your children home my dear mother

You are becoming your children

Your children are becoming you

This is why

Your

Love

Is

Endless

It generates itself by it's own will

We are the candle that cannot

Help but melt into the flame

And ultimately,

Into

Each other

Until there is nothing

But you..

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you have through HER garce tapped into the ESSENCE of what it is all

about...please continue inspiring this child to carry on...

 

 

>"Ananthasree" <ananthasree (AT) mac (DOT) com>

>Ammachi

>Ammachi

> Some recent thoughts...

>Tue, 27 Jun 2006 07:08:55 -0000

>

>Namah Shivayah,

>

>Here are some recent thoughts in relation to several things I think many

>here will identify

>with. I was talking with another devotee of this feeling of "unworthiness"

>we can often be

>struck with, not knowing how to process and open ourselves fully to such

>tremendous

>grace. Then, this piece sort of spiralled out and was inspired after

>reading several posts

>here on the group. I found the end of this piece was inspired very much by

>the works of

>the devotees who recently brought homeless ammaschildren to Amma. I've been

>thinking

>about it lately and feeling very inspired by all of these new projects.

>

>Jai Ma!

>

>Ananthasree

>

>______________________________

>

>In the cellar of me I am crouched and trembling,

>I exhale smoke and my words are ashes

>All I have been and known rattles my bones with regret

>Tear me apart if you must, to dispel myself from me

>Mother, I am the hunted sometimes

>My own mind stalks me as I run

>Through jungles of uncertainty

>In dreams, I sink into muddy earth or

>Cut my ankles on sharp sidewalks or

>Abandoned glass and sometimes I am

>Wandering through airports wanting to get

>Home while having no home

>I am not enough for you, my Mother

>I am not enough for you.

>Sometimes I fear my heart

>Is a grey, slippery mass

>Decorated only by punctures and ebony shadows

>Throbbing only by its own sin and

>Poisoning my blood, failing by the moment

>In its tremendous love for you and I feel

>That I am not enough for you.

>Not worthy of your grace, your glance

>How can I house you within me?

>I have nothing but broken windows in here

>Torn blankets for you to sleep on

>Why do you still come, Mother?

>There are one billion homes for you

>Eager and pure, splendid and kind

>I have nothing but love for you

>And hunger for God

>The

>rest

>of

>me,

>I've

>wasted.

>it hangs on me like loose, quivering skin

>Yearning for the scythe of Kali

>To cut it from me.

>Come Kali, take this from me

>Make me worthy of Mother

>Make me worthy of You

>Why do you swim in me?

>There are pristine oceans of azure for you

>There are rivers created by tears of bliss for you

>I have nothing for you but that which you

>Must destroy.

>I have nothing for you but that which you

>Must trample wildly upon.

>I have nothing for you but that and love, my Mother

>Please, tell me these are the gifts God so desires

>

>Mother, once you told me:

>"I live within you.

>When you long for Me you long

>To release Me from yourself

>That you may see yourself before you

>As Me. Because child, I

>Am your very self. You don't remember

>Where you came from child, look within me

>And see where we all came from."

>Oh, mother how I tremble by your words,

>Afraid to look unflinchingly into that great sun

>For fear of being blinded or struck

>Dead and breathless by love itself.

>Oh, Mother I will tell everyone there

>Is no greater horror than that of

>Seeing Truth and Love!

>It burns the sockets of the eyes, turns the

>Mind to ash, engulfs the heart with aching

>And we weep and weep from exploding hearts

>Dear Mother, I know why you are smiling!

>You see before you your children,

>hearts engulfed by flames, shaking and weeping before you,

>prostrating, surrendering, serving, loving, creating, crying, hating,

>dying,

>loving, thinking, preaching, planning, reaching, sinning, embracing,

>yearning,

>fearing, birthing, satisfying, desiring, meditating, singing, praying,

>loving, loving

>all by you, as you pull the strings and pull our hands to you

>and there we are with you Mother, I think you smile so brightly

>because your children are returning home…one by one

>and they are weeping from your love, serving for your heart

>and becoming you more and more every day

>Oh, Mother the more we become of you

>The quicker this obstinate longing will leave

>For we will see you in ourselves and in everyone

>We will see the beauty in both the candle and the

>Wind that appears to destroy it

>We will feel the blinding beauty of love and

>The sharp sting of ignorance as you we will

>See it all as you, as us, as That

>And aspire only to Love

>Aspire only to Truth

>Aspire only to Serve

>Aspire only to God.

>Fully engulfed by you we will aspire

>Only to tears if need be

>Tears for the suffering.

>Tears for the ignorance.

>Tears for the sorrowful

>Tears for God.

>Mother, you know I bathe your feet in tears

>And that I aspire to only love

>I aspire only to inspire

>Dear mother, give me the weakness to surrender to you

>the strength to work for you,

>the mind to absorb you

>the hands to reach for you

>and the faith to color my

>final breath with images of your smile.

>Mother, let my only purpose here

>Be to exist

>as one whom you twist and turn

>bend and break

>trample and embrace

>Dear Mother, this love is archeology

>So ancient and tender the

>remains of "me"

>Have followed you

>Piling themselves at your feet for centuries

>My Love, My all, My Self, My Mother

>How do you bring your children to you so perfectly?

>My mother, are you pleased?

>All of your children are coming home

>One by one and group by group

>Hand in hand with other children

>Who lead them to your arms

>Your children are bringing

>Your children home my dear mother

>You are becoming your children

>Your children are becoming you

>This is why

>Your

>Love

>Is

>Endless

>It generates itself by it's own will

>We are the candle that cannot

>Help but melt into the flame

>And ultimately,

>Into

>Each other

>Until there is nothing

>But you..

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

nurture that inspiration dear sister with AMMAs FIRE OF LOVE and protect it

like it is your very own child.never let this fire of inspiration burn

out....love,temba INSPIRE AND HER FIRE.that is what is needed...

 

 

>"Ananthasree" <ananthasree (AT) mac (DOT) com>

>Ammachi

>Ammachi

> Some recent thoughts...

>Tue, 27 Jun 2006 07:08:55 -0000

>

>Namah Shivayah,

>

>Here are some recent thoughts in relation to several things I think many

>here will identify

>with. I was talking with another devotee of this feeling of "unworthiness"

>we can often be

>struck with, not knowing how to process and open ourselves fully to such

>tremendous

>grace. Then, this piece sort of spiralled out and was inspired after

>reading several posts

>here on the group. I found the end of this piece was inspired very much by

>the works of

>the devotees who recently brought homeless ammaschildren to Amma. I've been

>thinking

>about it lately and feeling very inspired by all of these new projects.

>

>Jai Ma!

>

>Ananthasree

>

>______________________________

>

>In the cellar of me I am crouched and trembling,

>I exhale smoke and my words are ashes

>All I have been and known rattles my bones with regret

>Tear me apart if you must, to dispel myself from me

>Mother, I am the hunted sometimes

>My own mind stalks me as I run

>Through jungles of uncertainty

>In dreams, I sink into muddy earth or

>Cut my ankles on sharp sidewalks or

>Abandoned glass and sometimes I am

>Wandering through airports wanting to get

>Home while having no home

>I am not enough for you, my Mother

>I am not enough for you.

>Sometimes I fear my heart

>Is a grey, slippery mass

>Decorated only by punctures and ebony shadows

>Throbbing only by its own sin and

>Poisoning my blood, failing by the moment

>In its tremendous love for you and I feel

>That I am not enough for you.

>Not worthy of your grace, your glance

>How can I house you within me?

>I have nothing but broken windows in here

>Torn blankets for you to sleep on

>Why do you still come, Mother?

>There are one billion homes for you

>Eager and pure, splendid and kind

>I have nothing but love for you

>And hunger for God

>The

>rest

>of

>me,

>I've

>wasted.

>it hangs on me like loose, quivering skin

>Yearning for the scythe of Kali

>To cut it from me.

>Come Kali, take this from me

>Make me worthy of Mother

>Make me worthy of You

>Why do you swim in me?

>There are pristine oceans of azure for you

>There are rivers created by tears of bliss for you

>I have nothing for you but that which you

>Must destroy.

>I have nothing for you but that which you

>Must trample wildly upon.

>I have nothing for you but that and love, my Mother

>Please, tell me these are the gifts God so desires

>

>Mother, once you told me:

>"I live within you.

>When you long for Me you long

>To release Me from yourself

>That you may see yourself before you

>As Me. Because child, I

>Am your very self. You don't remember

>Where you came from child, look within me

>And see where we all came from."

>Oh, mother how I tremble by your words,

>Afraid to look unflinchingly into that great sun

>For fear of being blinded or struck

>Dead and breathless by love itself.

>Oh, Mother I will tell everyone there

>Is no greater horror than that of

>Seeing Truth and Love!

>It burns the sockets of the eyes, turns the

>Mind to ash, engulfs the heart with aching

>And we weep and weep from exploding hearts

>Dear Mother, I know why you are smiling!

>You see before you your children,

>hearts engulfed by flames, shaking and weeping before you,

>prostrating, surrendering, serving, loving, creating, crying, hating,

>dying,

>loving, thinking, preaching, planning, reaching, sinning, embracing,

>yearning,

>fearing, birthing, satisfying, desiring, meditating, singing, praying,

>loving, loving

>all by you, as you pull the strings and pull our hands to you

>and there we are with you Mother, I think you smile so brightly

>because your children are returning home…one by one

>and they are weeping from your love, serving for your heart

>and becoming you more and more every day

>Oh, Mother the more we become of you

>The quicker this obstinate longing will leave

>For we will see you in ourselves and in everyone

>We will see the beauty in both the candle and the

>Wind that appears to destroy it

>We will feel the blinding beauty of love and

>The sharp sting of ignorance as you we will

>See it all as you, as us, as That

>And aspire only to Love

>Aspire only to Truth

>Aspire only to Serve

>Aspire only to God.

>Fully engulfed by you we will aspire

>Only to tears if need be

>Tears for the suffering.

>Tears for the ignorance.

>Tears for the sorrowful

>Tears for God.

>Mother, you know I bathe your feet in tears

>And that I aspire to only love

>I aspire only to inspire

>Dear mother, give me the weakness to surrender to you

>the strength to work for you,

>the mind to absorb you

>the hands to reach for you

>and the faith to color my

>final breath with images of your smile.

>Mother, let my only purpose here

>Be to exist

>as one whom you twist and turn

>bend and break

>trample and embrace

>Dear Mother, this love is archeology

>So ancient and tender the

>remains of "me"

>Have followed you

>Piling themselves at your feet for centuries

>My Love, My all, My Self, My Mother

>How do you bring your children to you so perfectly?

>My mother, are you pleased?

>All of your children are coming home

>One by one and group by group

>Hand in hand with other children

>Who lead them to your arms

>Your children are bringing

>Your children home my dear mother

>You are becoming your children

>Your children are becoming you

>This is why

>Your

>Love

>Is

>Endless

>It generates itself by it's own will

>We are the candle that cannot

>Help but melt into the flame

>And ultimately,

>Into

>Each other

>Until there is nothing

>But you..

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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