Loving, Oneness, and gobs of Divine Laughter (was FYI)

June 26, 2006

I've thought about this quite a lot today, and have

written this several times and in several ways. It's

somewhat like the love letter that began as a hate

letter that Amma talks about. What I know for sure is

that Tom and the list reaction has actually provided

at least me with a powerful new awareness of what love

is. I could be wrong, but it's what I know for now.

So here's the draft I finally settled on.

I think that we can love Tom and keep him in our

hearts and prayers while also not reinforcing the

behavior with attention, and even while we commiserate

with each other. The divine laughter that comes along

with this thread and with all of the recent Tom

activity is almost deafening. What we are loving is

the truth of Tom. But we can love the truth of Tom

and still laugh at the rest.

I think that we don't have to sit in love and light

and pretend everything feels good all the time in

order to love anyone or to serve Amma. The crappy

experiences are as Divine and perfect as the amazing

ones, and we can point to them without it absolutely

being wrong or bad.

We talk about Oneness, but to me it feels like a lie

to believe that that means first you get peaceful and

nice and everything feels good, and then you

experience yourself as part of the One. I think it

actually means that as we are, flawed, reactive, mean,

full of ego, etc, we are the One. Being part of the

One doesn't mean a lack of suffering or snarkiness or

drama, but rather that suffering and snarkiness and

drama are part of the One as well. Amma talks about

the pendulum, and doesn't judge either side of it, but

explains that freedom is in being able to be on either

end of its swing.

Tom's posts sometimes make me want to throw things,

but the truth is that (somewhere in there) it's a

lesson for me about what Divine is, and what it is is

Tom, in all his glory. And it's also my desire to

throw things.

I wonder if this is why Amma laughs at us so

frequently...

Tom's posts sometimes also tickle me because it is so

clear how he gets things, and where the blind spot is.

It's only clear because it is his blind spot and not

mine. I have my own, and Tom can perhaps see them

easily. It's such a divine mystery being acted out so

clearly.

Because of Tom I think I can finally see how the Ego

is really a thing of love, and that although it

protects itself from a place of fear, much more than

that it is protected from a *deeply* divine place of

love and

compassion. This is a new understanding for me.

Aside from all of this human drama, I can take comfort

that in the Divine sense, love is there if I want it

to be or not, because I am Tom and Tom is me (Keval is

Tom too!). But neither of us are Awake, so I'll just

allow the unconditional love part to take care of

itself, as it always probably will.

Of course I truly don't want Tom to feel hurt by all

of these posts, but at the same time I can't know if

perhaps that is what's necessarily on his path to

freedom. So how can it be said if it is good or bad?

It is a wasted effort for any of us to try to control

that experience for him, and get wrapped in judging

each other's ability to manage what he has given to

us.

There is so much judgement that I see on this list.

What was happening in this thread was just a bit more

obvious. Who says where the line is and what's good

and what's bad? The gift of this thread (and the

thankfully resolved Temba thread) is that we can at

least agree to call it what it is. So I'll give a nod

to Amma, who is certainly monitoring our rock tumbler.

And with that, I think I have made up for years of

silence on this list with my extremely long-winded

post. So I'll shush now.

With love,

Romi

June 26, 2006

Dear Romi,

I love it! Nobody said it better! Amma loves and accepts all Her

children with all our gifts and our flaws, but she also puts her foot

down on the nonsense too! love, mare

On Mon, 26 Jun 2006 01:19:35 -0700 (PDT) Romi <romi_jordanna >

writes:

> I've thought about this quite a lot today, and have

> written this several times and in several ways. It's

> somewhat like the love letter that began as a hate

> letter that Amma talks about. What I know for sure is

> that Tom and the list reaction has actually provided

> at least me with a powerful new awareness of what love

> is. I could be wrong, but it's what I know for now.

> So here's the draft I finally settled on.

June 26, 2006

Thanks so much Romi for writing what I could not put into words. I never said I didn't love "Tom" - I am choosing not to step in his hula hoop and content to let him spin it by himself...I am choosing not to dance with his madness...I am too busy dancing with my own...

I know why Amma laughs - she once told me in front of a whole room of devotees that "You need help!"...as in therapy kind of help. And she said it with a smile...a big smile!

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

Supriti Omenka Nnadi