Installing Love

[Guest guest]

Here is a story posted on a website giving ideas for letters. It's

written for all of us who have experience with computers and

installing new software. Enjoy!

*******

 

A call comes through on the

customer service line.

 

Customer Service Rep:

Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install

love. Can you guide me through the process?

 

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

 

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to

install now. What do I do first?

 

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your

HEART ma'am?

 

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running

right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

 

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

 

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE,

GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

 

CSRep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your

current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory,

but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually

overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-

ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and

RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly

installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

 

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

 

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke

FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE

and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

 

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself

automatically. Is that normal?

 

CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will

reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

 

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

 

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You

need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to get the

upgrades.

 

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

 

CS Rep: What does the message say?

 

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL

COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

 

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that

the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet

been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming

things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your

own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

 

Customer: So what should I do?

 

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

 

Customer: Yes, I have it.

 

CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

 

Customer: Thank you.

 

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy

them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-

WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will

overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any programming.

Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and

to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back, you will

need to empty your recycle bin.

 

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files.

SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that

PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my

HEART. Is this normal?

 

C Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually

everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed

and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more

thing before I go.

 

Customer: Yes?

 

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules

to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people

and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

 

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your

name?

 

CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The

Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup

to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule of

daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.

 

Give a little love away.

***********

 

Aikya