Sai Sathya Sakha - Sai, The True Friend

[Guest guest]

Sairam dear sisters and brothers in Sai,

 

>From quite some time, I have been longing to share the precious lessons

Swami taught me during my last US trip. In the light of the discussions

(arguments?) going in our group regarding veg/non-veg, I felt the urge to

write them down now.

 

Endharo Mahaanubhaavulu, andharikee vandhanamulu.

 

My most humble and loving Salutations to all the noble souls who write to

this group, sharing their thoughtful insights and experiences with so much

of love and humbleness, not giving way to the illusion that they are

enlightening people, but entertaining the view that they are sharing their

bliss with all the devotees and deriving more bliss for themselves thereby.

They stand as examples to me. Blessed are those instruments who let Swami's

Love and Wisdom flow through them by not allowing the enemies of

anger, pride and ego to take control of their minds.

 

I live in Cyprus where I do not have a properly formed Sathya Sai Samithi.

When I got this opportunity of going to US, I jumped in joy imagining

meeting many Sai devotees - a chance to learn more, grow more. As per my

expectations, in fact exceeding them, Swami created a wonderful opportunity

for me to attend a Sai retreat in a place nearby Atlanta.

 

I travelled to that place a day before. During the drive to the place, I

was filling myself with the thoughts and words of My Sundara Sai. All was

fine till then. The night before the retreat, some devotees who came along

with me asked me to sing. And then I started singing some songs (which I

thought were "my" compositions). At that point, Maya started taking front

seat. Their appreciation of those songs made me believe strongly that I am

"gifted". :-)

 

And then when the retreat started the next day, while the devotees were

sharing their personal experiences with Swami, a host of feelings started

attacking me. I asked myself, "Am I not loving my Swami as ardently as them?

Why should they have so many intimate experiences while I do not have? Why

is My Sai partial towards me?" I started comparing myself with them. The ego

and jealousy have taken away my peace of mind. I could not concentrate on

any of the divine experiences devotees were sharing there. My concentration,

modesty and humbleness have all disappeared.

 

However such a compassionate Lord that He is, Swami did not take me too far

into Maya. Suddenly towards the afternoon, I realized something was terribly

wrong with the way I am looking at things. I wanted some time for myself. I

climbed up the stairs and reached an empty room. I sat before a picture of

Swami there. I just sat silently looking into His Lotus eyes. Those few

silent moments let all the negative thoughts in me subside.

 

Swami made me tell these words to myself, "I am here to receive Your Grace.

Not to distribute it to others. I am here for the sake of myself. Not for

the sake of others. My songs or poems are not going to benefit anyone. You

are the One who benefits all through all these experiences, Bhajans and

songs. I am not a singer, I am not a poet. I am just an instrument in Thy

Hands like everyone else is. We are all equal. No one is greater, No one is

less. You reside in me, in them, in everyone.

 

You, You and only You. Not me, not him, not her. Only You."

 

And then believe me, my friends, I enjoyed every moment of my being there

after that. Every word they spoke, every song they sang. I was again like

what I was when I used to go to Prasanthi Nilayam while in India - a seeker

of truth, not a preacher. When I thus emptied my mind of all ego and

jealousy, He filled it with His Love. When I realized I was there to benefit

myself and not others, He showered all benefits on me.

 

When I said, "Lord! I cannot give anything to anyone. It is only You who

gives Your Love to me through everyone.", then He started giving me His Love

through all. Every word I heard from then was the message and advise that I

needed most (for personal life or spiritual life).

 

And the day after when some fellow devotees asked me to sing, I went

there imagining myself to be a gramophone player in which the disc is Swami

Himself. He sang through me that day. It is all His. I am nothing. Nothing.

 

I have read stories where Swami in His Krishna Avtar created situations

which inflate and then deflate Arjuna's ego and thus teach him valuable

lessons. Now, here He is teaching me the same way exactly. Sai Sathya Sakha

- my truest friend.

 

Also I would like to share the dream in which He appeared to me few days

back. He spoke at length about my personal life along with a lot of spritual

advice. On personal front, He assured me that He will take care of

everything. I would like to share His exact words from my dream.

 

*"Be like a pipe, an empty pipe. Then My love and music will flow through

you. If you fill it with ego and jealousy, My love cannot flow thorugh you.

Such feelings will be obstructing the path of My Love. Feel empty. Feel you

are nothing. An empty pipe. Then My love will flow through it in full

measure. Then alone you can be a good instrument of mine."*

 

*"This pipe I told you - should be empty. But it need not be filled with

vacuum completely. It can have air. What is that air? It is Naamasmarana.

The air filled with My Name. Chant My Name more and more. Fill your body

with My Name. Then it serves as a lubricant to My Love. It will flow even

faster."*

 

*"Chant, chant and chant. That will make you free from all negative

thoughts. Saadhana valana panulu samakooru dhara lona. (With practise,

anything can be achieved on earth)."*

 

End-of-quote.

 

Who is benefitting whom? Sai alone is benefitting everyone.

 

Is it not Maya to think I am uplifiting or enlightening fellow people from

Maya? Is it not wiser on my part to always focus on myself, my mistakes and

fallacies than assuming a preacher's role and correcting others? Would not

my conduct automatically benefit others if I correct myself?

 

If someone is doing/thinking wrong, and when I go and advise him saying that

it is not correct, I am not doing him a favor by telling him so! No. It is

only because he is behaving wrongly, I was able to realize how silly it is

to behave in such a way. The person who committed a mistake is teaching me a

lesson through his behaviour. Thus it is he who did me a favor!

 

So, the act of my going and telling him that it is wrong, is in fact an act

of gratitude that I am offering to him in return, for making me realizing

what is right and what is wrong.

 

I am not favoring anyone. Only Sai does favours to all through all.

 

Whatever I speak in Satsang, whatever I do, will only benefit myself

ultimately.

 

Swami, make me free from the feeling of "I" and "mine". Let me realize Your

presence in everyone and let me not classify and judge people as

"mundane" and "spiritual", "ignorant" and "enlightened" or "evolved".

 

Let this message of Yours get into me strongly : *"Judge not, that ye be not

judged".*

**

*Swami, grant me the wealth of humbleness. The gift of seeing You in

everyone. The gift of "Samadhrishti" - equal vision.*

**

Love to all,

 

Jai Sairam

Pardha

**

[Guest guest]

Sairam Pardha,

 

 

What an eloquent testimony of devotion,truth and humility........

 

You mentioned SAI SATHYA SAKHA in your write-up.Incidentally,that also

happens to be the title of a book on Swami written by Prof.Abdul Razak

Korbu,a Muslim devotee from Maharashtra.

 

You can access this very touching and inspiring book online at

 

http://sss.vn.ua/sss_engl.htm

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Ragu.

 

---

 

On 5/26/06, Sai Sandesh <saisandesh > wrote:

>

> Sairam dear sisters and brothers in Sai,

>

> From quite some time, I have been longing to share the precious lessons

> Swami taught me during my last US trip. .....