FOR REAL SOUTHRONS

[Guest guest]

ANY GOOD SOUTHRON WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN

PEACHES WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD

BELOW!

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the

seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington

designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in

all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the

Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi,

Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage "My

brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.

Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is

Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left

$20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from

Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't heard from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a

bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and

yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage

"Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left

my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard

a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my

brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't

change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of

mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in that pickup truck of mine."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek

don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at

age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or

combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners

are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage Just set that bare rat cheer.

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a

wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't

breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away

from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my

brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?Nah...haze ignert. He

ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New

York City... view?"

GUVMIT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gummit

boys shore is ignert.