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[Guest guest]

# EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each

throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have

anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When

the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

# MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a

$2 item on sale that she doesn't want.

 

# BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb,

shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The

average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would

not be able to identify most of these items.

 

# ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says

after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

# FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man

never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

# SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can

spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

# MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

 

# DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty

the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will

dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

# THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's

no use in two people remembering the same thing.