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Multiethnic Man with history of Dyslexia,Dyspraxia,ADHD

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Hi,

 

 

I have Dyslexia,Dyspraxia,ADHD,and special education which got me

called "retard" by normal kids even though I have above average

intelligence ,and misdiagnosed schizoaffective bipolar by

psychiatrists as an adult without any psychological testing being

done nor talking to my mother who is the only person that knows well

about my special ed history,and made me grow up feeling that I was

always dumb. Like many people with learning disabilities and ADHD, I

am ultrasensitive too. I am not as sensitive as autistics, but maybe

sensitive as people with Aspergers syndrome. I don't have problems

reading emotional and social cues like Aspergers do.

This year, I was officially diagnosed ADHD inattentive

type,Generalized Anxiety Disorder,Dysthymic Disorder,Avoidant

Personality Disorder,and per history: Developmental Coordination

Disorder (notably in past) by psychologist. She seemed to recognize

my Dyspraxia(coordination disorder) and ADHD, but she didn't recognize

my history of Dyslexia, but I have history of speech problems and

left/right confusion. Many Dyslexic children have problems with

speech. Late talking is one of the early warning signs of Dyslexics.

Dyslexia is not a reading disorder that just involves reversing

letters and visual processing problems. Most dyslexics don't have

visual processing problems,and a lot don't reverse letters. Most have

phonological problems,and so they have a hard time sounding out words

when they read. A lot of them have auditory processing problems, and

so they have problems perceiving what they hear. That was one of my

problems. I got letters mixed up when I heard them, and so I spoke

jumbled up.

Like Dyslexics, I think mainly in pictures. I can easily think in 3-

D. I am also very intuitive with a very vivid imagination like

Dyslexics. Visualization is

no problem for me. I visualize nonstop for I constantly think in

pictures. I also have problems learning auditorily and sequentially.

I have problems with short term memory,but my long term memory is

good. I problems learning by rote memorization. I am a strong visual-

spatial,and I am a very poor auditory-sequential learner. I am a

person that has poor sense of time, and I am disorganized. Those also

overlap with Dyspraxia.

 

 

 

BTW.....I don't think that ADHD is a disorder that needs to be

treated. These same ADHD traits are found in hunters. I am a very

fast runner with quick reflexes. They were important for survival.

Also I read that Indians see ADHD differently. They don't see it as a

disorder. I read that they see that they are signs of an old soul

that has to many many things in this lifetime heading towards

enlightenment. I know that psychiatrists in USA often see mystical

experiences as schizophrenia or psychosis,and so I am not the type of

person to talk about those things to anybody. Mysticism is not

accepted and respected here in USA at it is in India. Sometimes, I

feel that I am better off in India. People have told me that I look

Indian or Arabic. I am a mixture of

Black,Portuguese,English,German,French,Italian,Puerto Rican,Native

American,and Jewish. I had half Japanese stepsisters,and I have

half Filipino cousins. I have relatives that are mixed with Puerto

Rican and Mexican. Because of my diverse ethnic heritage and

experiences, I believe in Unity and Universal Love. Martin Luther

King Jr is the person that I admire most in American History. He

helped made it possible for mixed ethnic people like me to be born.

My white mother and black father wouldn't have been allowed to get

together if there blacks still didn't have civil rights which Martin

Luther King Jr strongly fought for.

 

I am a massage therapy student,and I will be finished with school in

a few months. I am planning on be a holistic health practitioner. I

want to help people to feel better through alternative means. I don't

believe that medication is the answer for emotional problems. They

have side effects. I get strong side effects from medication,and I

have a very sensitive body. I also helped people through Western

Astrology since summer of 1999,and I do them for free including give

free reports. I would like to be a professional astrologer in the

future. I would also like to help children with special needs. I

want to give back what I received. After all, I was a child with

special needs. My Dyslexia and Dyspraxia were corrected because of

of helpful special ed teachers and therapists.

 

I have Leo Lagna with its lord Sun conjunct Mercury and Venus in

Libra in 3rd. My Moon is in Aquarius in Satabisha,and it is

conjuncts Mars in Dhanista in 7th house. My Moon rules the 12th

house and disposits my Ketu in Cancer in 12th. My mother has

suffered a lot including being rejected by her mother and never

knowing her. She was shot 3 days before my 3rd birthday by a

schizophrenic man who broke into our home. She got hepatitis B/C

from a blood transfusion. She also had psychological problems

including Depression and Anxiety. She also has history of alcoholism

and drug addiction. She is an ultransensitive person like me too.

She has also been in bad relationships including a 13 yr marriage to

somebody older than her. She also had to to get her uterus removed

because of cervical cancer when I was 6 years old. She is only 17

years older than me. She physically and verbally abused me when I

was growing up. She lost her alcoholic father through suicide back

in 1998. Now she has serious Diabetes. I would say those things fit

my 12th house lord Moon that disposits my Ketu in Cancer in 12th,

conjunct 4th/9th house lord Mars in 7th, aspected by 6th/7th house

lord Saturn in Taurus in 10th. She seems like she would have been

labeled ADHD.

My 12th house lord(Moon) conjuncts my 4th/9th house lord(Mars), and I

never knew my father. My mom told me that he had drug problems,and

that's why I never knew him. She told me that he had speech problems

like me. She told me that he stammered and stuttered. He wasn't good

with his hands. It's very possible that he might have a history of

Dyslexia and Dyspraxia like me. Like I said before, speech problems

can be symptoms of Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. She told me that he was an

ultransensitive type like me. He was also very superstitious. He

believed in Hoodoo. He grew up with his grandmother who believed in

Hoodoo protection. He was born in New Orleans,Louisiana. He seemed

like he would have been labeled ADHD too.

 

Somebody said that with Ketu in Cancer, there will always be

problems. I have it in the 12th. Well.....I haven't gone crazy. I

am not psycho nor anything like that. I have suffered a lot through

my life. I admit that I suffered a lot with my mother including

worrying about her bad health now. I do suffer from anxiety and

depression. I feel that it is mostly from my insecurity because of my

history of learning disabilities and just being different and being

treated like I am stupid or crazy by my peers and mental health

professionals. The way a person is treated can affect a person's

self esteem. I often felt like God is punishing me. I grew up in a

Roman Catholic household. I was an atheist for a couple of years and

regained my belief in God shortly after my maternal grandfather

committed suicide. I was in the US Navy for 7 years,but it was never

for me. I was too sensitive and idealistic for the navy. I even feel

too sensitive and idealistic for this world. I wished that everybody

loved each other and treat each other right. I feel that it was hard

being a multiethnic person in the navy. I was tired of blacks

telling me that I act too white or I am not black enough. I hated

being seen as a sell out for being with women that are the color of

my mother who is white. It's stupid. I hate racism. It's

ignorance. I believe in treating people like I want to be treated.

We all deserve that. That's what I feel.

I wonder if I can have a normal life including having wife and

children. I don't care about being rich and famous. I just want to

be in a career that involves helping others. I want my work to be

spiritually oriented. I want a spiritually oriented wife that will

work with me,and be a good mother to my children. I didn't have that

with my mother. I don't want to repeat my parents' mistakes. That's

why I never used drugs nor am I an alcoholic. I haven't had an

alcoholic beverage since Jan 1999. I wonder if I am meant to give up

meat. I wonder if I have to be a vegetarian to achieve moksha which I

read Ketu in 12th is a placement for. 8th house lord Jupiter in

Scorpio in 4th and 6th/7th house lord Saturn in Taurus in 10th

aspect my Ketu.

 

That's all

 

Take care all.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

 

 

Birthdata:

October 29, 1971

San Francisco, CA

3:20 AM

 

 

 

Raymond

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