Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hey, thanks for comments folks. It’s amazing that nobody flamed me back publicly. What a very controlled list. And then Ashutosh and others...kind. Well you can’t know what I feel without being in me, or near me always. It’s so hard to explain, but something like fire in the nerves with lots of panic will do. Why should I be afraid to reveal my truths? In a few years I’ll be dead like all of us, so, to get anywhere, we’ll have to start talking “full truth”, to get anywhere. Plus I just believe in the truth. Plus I’m seriou when I write. I’m really in pain and really crying out for help, unfortunately, the list cannot help me, it’s something onscreen. Right now as I count it I have one friend in Eugene, a couple that is. The few Hare Krishna’s who knew me don’t want to deal with me because I don’t do that dogma anymore. Trying to keep going without feeling lonely. I think everyone doesn’t feel like me- I think they are more thick- less sensitive. I know many are where I am, but not everyone I meet is freaking out like I am. Something too sensitive in me. Today a better day. I am just listening to CD’s and learning songs to sing. I am a great guitar player, and I can sing well, so I’m going to learn a set and then try to get gigs, and I figure I’ll meet people that way. Something has to happen eventually. Funny, this is exactly where I was when I joined the movement and gave up western life- 27 years ago- gave up the guitar playing that I was SOOOOO into, doing a music major, and gave it up for Krishna’s service, so to speak, and now to save my mind, I am going back to that guitar to sing my way into some peoples lives and get their friendship. As for those who worry about my mood on this list and “will I get a woman” from it, well, since I’m not likely to meet hardly any of you ever in my life, I’m not sure it matters. When I meet some girl in a club here in town, she will have never heard of Das Goravani, believe me. Many of us are going through unbearable pains at this time. I hear it from others- about the deaths of loved ones, the changes in body, the diseases, the woes, life is intense like that. But it’s also sometimes a little joyful. I’m searching for those modicums of nectar. People ask me what I offer a woman, how about an awesome guy? How about a guy with an unusually strong intellect, passionate, huge heart? I’m not into this part publicly. End. Running from mr pain. Always. I wish someone could end it. Stevens thing was cute, but I’ve been overwhealmed by it, and survived it, all the time, I just want it to go away. I know a spouse will make that happen big time, the real one. I hate people who tell me to give it up or it will never...or it never works...i believe in love Thanks Rick MacQuoid das (AT) goravani (DOT) com AIM: ROIKMACKAI IM: das_goravani Secure online ordering of Goravani Jyotish 2.5 and Jyotish Studio 3 or (Please use email if at all possible) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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