About the comments and the root itself

[Guest guest]

Hey, thanks for comments folks. It’s amazing that nobody flamed me back

publicly. What a very controlled list. And then Ashutosh and others...kind.

Well you can’t know what I feel without being in me, or near me always.

It’s so hard to explain, but something like fire in the nerves with lots

of panic will do.

Why should I be afraid to reveal my truths? In a few years I’ll be dead

like all of us, so, to get anywhere, we’ll have to start talking

“full truth”, to get anywhere. Plus I just believe in the truth.

Plus I’m seriou when I write. I’m really in pain and really crying

out for help, unfortunately, the list cannot help me, it’s something

onscreen.

Right now as I count it I have one friend in Eugene, a couple that is. The few

Hare Krishna’s who knew me don’t want to deal with me because I

don’t do that dogma anymore.

Trying to keep going without feeling lonely. I think everyone doesn’t

feel like me- I think they are more thick- less sensitive. I know many are

where I am, but not everyone I meet is freaking out like I am. Something too

sensitive in me.

Today a better day. I am just listening to CD’s and learning songs to

sing. I am a great guitar player, and I can sing well, so I’m going to

learn a set and then try to get gigs, and I figure I’ll meet people that

way. Something has to happen eventually.

Funny, this is exactly where I was when I joined the movement and gave up

western life- 27 years ago- gave up the guitar playing that I was SOOOOO into,

doing a music major, and gave it up for Krishna’s service, so to speak,

and now to save my mind, I am going back to that guitar to sing my way into

some peoples lives and get their friendship.

As for those who worry about my mood on this list and “will I get a

woman” from it, well, since I’m not likely to meet hardly any of

you ever in my life, I’m not sure it matters. When I meet some girl in a

club here in town, she will have never heard of Das Goravani, believe me.

Many of us are going through unbearable pains at this time. I hear it from

others- about the deaths of loved ones, the changes in body, the diseases, the

woes, life is intense like that. But it’s also sometimes a little

joyful. I’m searching for those modicums of nectar.

People ask me what I offer a woman, how about an awesome guy? How about a guy

with an unusually strong intellect, passionate, huge heart? I’m not into

this part publicly. End.

Running from mr pain. Always. I wish someone could end it. Stevens thing was

cute, but I’ve been overwhealmed by it, and survived it, all the time, I

just want it to go away. I know a spouse will make that happen big time, the

real one. I hate people who tell me to give it up or it will never...or it

never works...i believe in love

Thanks

Rick MacQuoid das (AT) goravani (DOT) com

AIM: ROIKMACKAI IM: das_goravani

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