Anthropologists Discover Surviving Celts!

[Guest guest]

(Note: For the humor impaired, this IS humor, okay?)

Roit-hers Noose Age ‘n C, November 6th, 2005

See attached photo of tribal man

Today a team of Anthropologists, Archaeologists, Apologists, and Steam Roller

Drivers, announced an amazing finding- they discovered a new Island, off the

Coast of Ireland, which is home to a Native people who have not changed in

thousands of years, and they are Celtic, apparently.

The tribes leader, Chief Krikroga Nua Mwintirachina, speaks only Gaelic, and

doesn’t write at all. The team brought Irish Gaelic speakers to

translate. The chief referred to all the other white people, who did not speak

Gaelic, as “Sassonax”, or, “Saxons”. He did this

despite all efforts made to educate him otherwise.

The Chief said his Island’s name was “Atlantiochis”, but this

could not be confirmed.

The Chief explained that his people came to the Island to escape Roman

domination some 2000 years ago and have lived here ever since. He says they

all know their ancestors names and lives back the whole way, but nobody in the

team believed that one.

The team, after fully logging all the information their laptops could hold,

proceeded to inform the chief and his people about how silly they were, and

bulldoze their huts to make room for the school that would teach them how to

really be humans the RIGHT WAY.

We taught the Chief and his sons how to paint, just as Governor Agricola did in

England, when he was the first Roman Governor of Britain over the Celts 2000

years ago. In the enclosed picture, you can see the Chief, who refuses to take

off his face war paint until the team leaves their Island, is posing with one of

his own paintings. Asked if it meant anything, he said “Of course”.

He proceeded to explain how it refers to reincarnation, and the

interconnectedness of all things, and how he cannot wait to see such vines over

the tombs of the party, if it doesn’t leave.

Everyone thought his comments were so “tribal” and cute, so we

thanked him and everyone wanted a picture with the native.

Schooling and reprogramming are scheduled on the “mainland” for the

chief and all his people and their Island will be cleared to make room for the

Cattle Mr. London plans to raise there on the grassy land that their Island

will soon be. The Education Minister said “We look forward to the day

very soon when Krikroga and his people will not be distinguishable from any

other citizen of our great commonwealth.”

Prints Charrulls said: “We’ve helped many diverse people’s

become one with the masses over the last so many centuries, and we’re

happy to do it again, ridding the world of such complexity as diversity of

culture is known to create”.

Gorgeous Bushes said: “It’s a wonderful thing, when a people can

embark on that journey which brings them close to total forgetfulness about

their cultural roots. Heck, here in America we have no idea at all about

European history, or where we came from. As far as we know, White people come

from Castles, and that’s about it, huck huck huck huck!”

End of Story!

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