Political Humor Prediction

[Guest guest]

The democrats are be Heinz, and need to Ketchup, so they are working hard to

Kerry the Swinging states.

 

(ps: What a trip, my small town, Eugene, just got Kerry¹s wife, then Ralph

Nadar, and now John Edwards, all within a week. The ads are constant. We

are a swing state, and being the 2nd largest town, we¹re a focus, big time,

for these guys. It¹s so funny because we are really a small town in a small

state, but that¹s very important in this election, because of how the

American voting system works. So we here in Eugene feel very important right

now while huge cities who are known to vote one certain way, say New York

City, are being more ignored than we are!)

 

To stir up the republican vote, which often lies in the rural areas, the

Republicans are out Bush whacking.

 

Some are getting nearly divine input because Iraq is Burning Bush. And I

dare to declare that the flair of ally Blair is ne¹er there to clear the air

for the house where, the pres will bare, the insults fair, of his intel err.

 

I predict that Kerry will win, but if not, then I predict Bush will win.

Either way I predict I¹m correct.

 

Either way, I predict problems for America because we have petrol shortage,

high prices, and larger cars than ever before. We have a moral crisis,

empty churches, and more porn then ever before, and sex addiction is at an

all time high because of the internets focus on this subject. Suicide in

Japan, and other places, is at an all time high. Unemployment is high, and

more jobs are being placed overseas where more educated and poorer people

are eager to take them. This is exactly a description of the late Rome,

with just a few minor changes, such as, instead of petrol shortage, they had

³new conquered lands plunder and slaves shortage², which is kindof like

petrol, it keeps things running and growing.

 

Thanks to having so much entertainment, and lack of school funding, ie, high

venus and low mercury, the future doesn¹t look bright, it looks stupid.

 

Typical for the Celts, just when we get an Irish Catholic as president,

everything is already all screwed up before he takes office, and he¹ll take

all the blame, and thus, history continues, those damn Celts never get a

glory break. Darn. Oh well. Karma. What can you do?

 

My prescription: Up the Mercury and Jupiter, down the Venus and Mars.

Meaning, tax war toys by 10 times, same with Porn. Either make it incredibly

expensive or shut it down. Probably best to fully shut it down. Make adult

stores illegal, Porn on the web illegal, turn back the clock on Porn to the

sixties, where you could only get it in magazines in certain stores behind

the counter, and only if over 21. Distribute healthy, decent, spiritual

knowledge to the people. Absolutely stop, dissallow, corporations from

putting call centers etc overseas. Pull back the military and divert half

it¹s budget into American schools immediately including adult education.

Turn the governments military TV channel immediately instead into a full

time Islamic teachings channel. Find Christian preachers who teach

materialism to Americans, and if they cannot show where Jesus said that in

the Gospel, put them in jail under Budhist monk guards. Find and arrest

people who make Meth, import Coac/H and other hard drugs, and execute them.

Increase drug penalties tremendously but also make psychiatric counseling

and therapy available for all and fully, period. Never make Marijuana a big

deal, but don¹t legalize it either. Make selling tobacco illegal. Train and

fund counseling centers everywhere. Make counseling a standard part of

society. Allow religions free access to teach in schools. Strictly punish

racism and hate crimes. Never illegalize abortion. Freely distribute

condons. Keep STD testing completely free and in every city. Resinstitute

affirmative action hiring everywhere. To deny that this is a problem is a

conservatives equivalent to ostrich head in sand. Good people carry those in

need around them. Absolutely take care of our soldiers. If young black men

have no choice but to be soldiers, we had better stand by them fully later

too. So, war is costly, stop throwing it around. Fund Columbias war against

cocaine growing to the point where growing it STOPS completely and help

their people convert fully, profitably, equitably, etc. These are our

neighbors, c¹mon. Period. Then, if anyone starts it up again, blow their

farm into a large hole in the ground. Shut down MTV and similar channels as

completely unhealthy for the people. Apologize to the world for this blunder

of exporting total crap. Put Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson and all

their like friends in charge of cleaning toilets in a womans prison. Make

cosmetic surgery by prescription only, only for those who are hurt in

accidents or such, never for glamor. Make glamor seem stupid, because it is.

Shut down all pirating systems on the internet. Working with MS and other

large computer leaders, restructure the internet so that there cannot be

anonymous websites hosted in russia etc., selling pirated and garbage

worldwide. Shut down the illegalities and scumbags. The internet should not

be the fall of the world. Stop people who try to make Islam appear awful.

Make peace with Islam. Diplomacy, giving, gifts, sharing, exchanges, not

war. Therapy, not drugs. Exercise, and health, not hospitalization. In

other words, in all ways, face our crap, don¹t cover it over, fix our

problems, don¹t create new ones, and realize that nature, spirit and

sacrifice, self restraint, are the ways to health and happiness, not over

consumption, addiction, lethargy and sloth. Stop chain stores. Shut down

chain corporations such as Barnes and Nobles, Borders, K-Mart, Walmart, etc

etc. These will lead to the fall of America and the world very swiftly.

Reinstitute support for the local community and village, decentralize being

the rallying cry, because it is much healthier and more natural, whereas

centralization and globalization is Nationalistic (read Nazi) and doomed to

self and others destruction. Stop the increase in population, and stop the

sprawl of urban areas like Los Angeles. These places are nothing but

targets, and doomed as they have no natural resources of their own.

Eventually, to survive, we have to undo the centralization and reliance on

energy. We have to return to living more in harmony with nature in agrarian,

distributed, localized, self sufficient communities.

 

Ahhh, my Jupiter feels so good right now.

 

Das Goravani, Pres.

 

 

 

 

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