Guest guest Posted September 24, 2004 Report Share Posted September 24, 2004 Dear Das: I'm very happy you appreciated the thoughts regarding Sani. Saturn, to me, represents the hardest part of Jyotish/life. Though I know some people, who have better Sani's in their charts, and they're 'lessons' aren't so extreme. Now, I understand why Astrology calls Saturn, the 'lesson giver'.... See below: > Das Goravani <> > valist > Fri, 24 Sep 2004 08:57:05 -0700 > <valist>, <dasgoravaniswritings> > My struggle > > > > Thanks Mark K., for your message about Saturn. > > I used to be an explosion of activity daily, and it was very focused, and > successful. Whatever I attempted worked well. I used to employ friends, got > much done, and felt happy. I had faith in Vishnu¹s existence, and felt clear > about just about everything, so I thought. When we can see or point to the qualities of our actions, that may have been responsible for our present 'griefs',....this is almost the complete ball game... Those who can't see, or refuse to accept, even when friends, or life, is trying to show then,... their ...'whys'.... are even more lost.... > > Then slowly in Sani Dasha, especially Saturn/Venus, it was taken apart > inside me. I began to lose faith, then I lost marriage, businesses, and my > happiness. I've already told you my Sani story, and now since I've finally come out of the dark, Saturn tunnel, I can say with more confidence, that.... the extent to which we suffer, is in direct proportion, to how much attention we need to put on Sani, for example..... Eventually I got really depressed, more and more. I turned to > substances for assistance, on a steady basis. > > Although losing slowly my material and mental stability, I did gain more and > more insight into other things, specifically history as well as ³seeing², or > psychic ability, astrological ability. > > Nowadays I struggle to exist, materially and mentally. It¹s really > questionable whether I will make it in either. I type from a very aged > computer, through a phone line that could be turned off in not too long, > from an apartment I cannot rent even for this coming month. It¹s almost > over. > > It is noteworthy in my chart that the moon is slammed by Saturn in both Rasi > and Navamsa, and Saturn is exactly 9th from Venus, and exactly on the > midheaven, while at the same time Jupiter is exactly 9th from lagna. It's very important, I think, to be able to find the Jyotish 'reasons' why we're suffering in the ways that we are... This is the first important part of Jyotish... However, even more important than this,....where our suffering is coming from.... is the knowledge of how we can strengthen ....in this case....Sani! > > I can admit that I have been experiencing very high sexual lust for decades, > up until rather recently. That has been a problem. I am happy that insight > is helping finally to see through that one. > > But I suppose more than anything the ³manic² nature of my nervous system, > which operates ³hot and fast² is the root cause of my suffering on a > material level. This letter sounds cool, but when I leave the keyboard, the > mental ³chatter² will resume. I agree that calmness and cool, slow being > and thinking is the key for me, as it was for Mark. I have to really > struggle to be calm, and act, just act, in a cool thought out manner. This struggling is only because we're relatively new to living from silence.... And I, too had a better Jupiter then my Sani, so it was easy to glide, on the power of Jupiter. But, Sani periods, even Sani transits, show us, really, how powerful we are in the particular flavors of 'Saturn',....and when our symptoms....are malefic.... that's nature's way of showing us, how we're doing... I know it's depressing, even, being depressed,..... but know this... there is a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel... and the particular Saturn light,....is extremely bright and lovely... I wouldn't have thought possible, during the first 5 or 6 years of my Saturn Mahadasa, but now, after spending a lot of time and energy,.... studying and then, surrendering to Sani's graces, now...I can say.... the light is wonderful! The > jumpy, fidgety, freaked out, mumbling, crying, just ³freaking out² mental > chatter is really intense, and always with me. That¹s the thing...it¹s > always there. That¹s what¹s hard for people who lose it. They hear too much > in their heads. > > I am trying so many things, including the prescribed things like Lithium, > but in the end these days I¹m coming around to ³it¹s up to me to fix me². > I¹ve called out like crazy but it seems nobody else can fix me. I¹m still > alone, and more rejected than ever by most who know me. I¹m poorer than > I¹ve ever been, and have a harder time focusing my mind than I have ever > had. I really wonder if I will survive much longer generally. I¹m trying. > Now I¹ve come around to zero substance, of all types, period. I can¹t take > it anymore. It¹s an impediment for sure. > > I would say in all honesty, at the risk of being judged, that I have been > given much, and the price tag is the appearance of suffering. You have been given, 'much' means you've deserved it... Your great Jupiter, in Sagittarius, lord of the 9th, in the 9th is such an amazing....Yoga! Like me, and I had a better Jupiter too, Jupiter in Pisces, in my 6th.... But, taking on the challenge of Saturn.... will mean, once you get out of the dark tunnel, and into Sani's light... you'll have more compassion, and joy, ...especially for others,....because you've been there... You'll make an especially, heart warming teacher,....with that experience.... I say > appearance because on one level I¹m not suffering. On an inner level, I¹m > overjoyed, because I have been allowed to see through the illusion. Not only > a spiritual vision, but even subtle material seeing is mine. I think in > order to be in that world, you cannot be in this other one, this dull one of > money making, surviving, rising in material goods and life, and so on. It¹s > kindof one or the other. The more you go one way, the more you lose on the > other side. Again, your great Jupiter is responsible for this great gift.... and you've created that, and therefore deserve it too.... Though gratitude, towards life, or other Gurus, for helping us.... can be appropriate... > > I can see all of Western history from Rome forward in sweeping arrays of > mindsets and attitude changes, right on up to the present, and that is > really special to me. I can see what has formed the people around me, from a > historical viewpoint, and that is amazing. So it¹s not all suffering. But > it¹s hard to care about the mundane with such a mind. I wish I was secure > somewhere materially, so that I could go on with what I do well, which is > study, write, art, talk to others. In person, people find me interesting. I > would like to teach young people, say high school, or better, college, about > Western history and Spirituality. > > I do struggle, right now today, for my sanity. This is very hard. Mental > dis-ease, is very hard. It actually is quite painful, and you cannot > understand this unless you¹ve had it. To the extent that you have ³gone > mad² yourself, only to that extent can you imagine the mental anquish of > another who suffers in that way. It¹s something you cannot explain. It must > be experienced. People who work in mental health with those who are > screaming in paranoia, fear and complete pain, cutting themselves and > wanting to die, freaking out is hysteria, sweat, tears, and so on...those > workers too have some idea. But for those of us in it, or struggling > against the demon of insanity, we alone know that it is PAIN, and not just > ³weird thinking². It¹s extremely painful to feel that you are on the wrong > planet, or imprisoned in a body, really feel that, or feel that you will be > persecuted to the point of death, etc. It¹s extremely painful. > > I can see that the world is boiling in a reactionary stew of karmic war. > Because one time someone hurt someone else, the echo of that goes down > through the generations of persons on both sides of that original battle or > hurt. Everyone is born with a problem in them, a grudge, a mental problem, > an attitude, and the war goes on. It makes me appreciate how Jesus¹s > solution was ³turn the other cheek² and ³Love your enemy². Somewhere, in > other words, along the line of history, we have to put the past to rest by > forgiveness. We have to stop the karmicly rich battles that just continue > the pain and suffering. > > The chuckles I get internally because of my intense ability to see truth, > see through the illusion, are welcomed and fun and nice. The price tag for > this vision is not at all nice. I have to live with both. > Just don't forget, it's not your wonderful 'ability to see truth',...that's the problem,.. it's not having quite enough wisdom, yet, of Saturn.... that's responsible...for the sufferings... Maybe what you're also meaning is perhaps, because the two, Jupiter & Saturn are so close, that you thought the wisdom of the one, was enough.... I think that was true, a little for me... Because of my 'ok' Jupiter,....in Pisces in 6th, looking at my Moon, and Saturn, in the 12th.... I remember thinking .... my love of God....was soooo intense, ....it should be enough... That's why it was particularly hard for me to see, the source of my sufferings for so long... That's where Jyotish helped me emmensely...... Learning that we have both a Jupiter and a Saturn,....sense, or parts of us....helped me see, yes, I'm okay, with Jupiter but not strong enough in Saturn's wisdoms.... > When I see an ad that shows a pretty blonde and says ³Get the home or car of > your dreams² etc., I see history so clearly, and the attitudes of conquest, > plunder and greed that were a part of the blonde history since the dawn of > that race¹s departure from Scandinavia. It¹s so very clear. And the > ³American Dream² is based on that mainly ³Engle² view of life. It¹s not the > view held by Indian Brahmins, for example, or Muslims, or many others. It¹s > particularly of a certain race, and that race rules the world. I can > establish this historically clearly, I believe. > > When I see many Americans in their huge SUV¹s despite waning supplies and > rising prices of petrol, I cannot believe how this attitude lives on today. > But it does. I stand on the street these days, dressed like Braveheart, > holding a ³Vote for Kerry² sign, and these people give me the bird (flip me > off) (insult me). They do not understand that THEY are the terrorists, not > the Muslims. They have always been the terrorists, and still are. > > As we torture Iraq for no good reason except greed and fear, led by > businessmen who are unbelievably insensitive, uncaring, unspiritual, > irreligious, and simply bad demons, my mental suffering increases. The > world has enough for all of us, but not our greed. So when I see fat > American republicans in their SUV¹s, I suffer. I suffer to be an American > nowadays, under Bush. It¹s awful. > > I suffer that the teachings of Christ are used by these people as if THEY > are Christians. What a joke. The cross used to be a symbol used ³by the > little oppressed ones² to show their solidarity with those who are killed by > Rome, the all powerful oppressor... Now it¹s often the symbol of rich white > so called Christians like Bush. Bush-Shite! > > God Bless America. This term makes me suffer. God, if He exists, will > bless whomever he chooses, and I predict that Iraq will eventually fall to > ³those Muslim insurgent terrorists² just as Vietnam fell to those who REALLY > live there. > > By the way, I see America as the terrorists, and the ³Insurgents, > terrorists² as Bush calls them, as homeboys (Arabs) trying to stop a massive > Roman army from constantly bombarding their homelands, threatening their > safety, threatening their temples, religious leaders, way of life, right to > practice their way of life, etc., just as the ancient Celts tried to fight > off Rome. When you are bombed from above by invisible airplanes, and you > yourself have no such technology or organized army because you spent your > life on other things... Of course you resort to guerilla tactics. America > did this against Britain in the early days. Has our president and has our > country forgotten that we too, as a country, were ³terrorists². We > supported French ³Terrorists² against the Hitler regime. We support them in > many countries, including all over Africa, South America, and in Arab > Nations as well. > > All of this makes me suffer. I ponder it and I go into insanity. I cannot > NOT think about it. Practically I suffer FOR the world. I feel the pain of > others, and understand them. I sympathize. Then I cannot work. I can only > do art, or protest, or cry. Perhaps it is your Moon, in the good 11th house, that makes you sensitive to others... Or maybe it's the good Jupiter, that really is very compassionate, by nature.... Whatever the reason,.... feeling compassion, but not being able to maintain your own bliss..... are two different things... Compassion, and sensitivity, even empathy, ....are very important... but we need to be established in our Oneness, inside,.... like a Christ.... and then we'll be even much more help to others.... How can I work to maintain a life when there is > nothing but pain and misinformation all around me, We can work to maintain, .....and create our lives.... because this is what we, and everyone needs to do.... This is the Saturn way, to do one's responsibilities, to do what needs to be done, each day... And as we do those simple things,... to bed on time, up early... good daily activity,... eating in time,... etc.... then, Saturn grows positively,....stronger... and the mistakes of > history still being made everywhere, especially my pet peeve which is the > WASP attempt to constantly tell everyone else that they are Shite and WASP > ways alone are good such as ³We have to help the world be democratic². > Bush-Shite. We don¹t have to inflict our government on anyone. That is NOT > our duty. That¹s a cover up for grasping wealth in other lands. That¹s > all. Has Bush ever read the Quor¹an? I doubt it. > > I do not hate Muslims. I do not hate Arabs. I do not hate Iraq. And I don¹t > think Muslim boys fighting to get Americans and American ways out of their > lands are ³terrorists². I think they are brave guerilla warriors fighting > for what they believe, and their ways, their rights, and their lands, just > as my ancestors did against the invasion of the outsiders who simply wanted > to plunder and control. > > This is why Jesus was for the little guy, the meek, the downtrodden, > oppressed, but good people. Same with other great, really great, leaders, > not the awful and cruel leaders, who are just about wealth, power, control, > and are personally uneducated and insensitive. \ I think Christ was for the meek, 'guy', because in meekness is 'innocence',....and learning needs receptivity.... My Guru, has this great expression, too, he says in his translation of the gita: "Until a seeker of truth, gets tired of doing it their own way, knowledge never comes...." Now, I know this receptivity,....whether it comes to a poor, or rich person....is soooo vital... > > With all of this in my head, I hardly am concerned anymore with my personal > survival, wealth, etc. I understand why the likes of Jesus, Caitanya, > Verkingetorix, Boudika, Gandhi, and many many others, just gave up > possessions and took to wandering and teaching, or fighting against the > oppressor. It¹s way more noble than participating in the ocean of > stupidity, greed, and support of tyrannical empires and emporers. > > So whatever my chart is, this is what it produces. I used to want to work > through the system, and I did, for a long time, but now it has grown hard. > I am extremely challenged by my material circumstances. I do not know if I > can survive. I feel the impending encroachment of homelessness. It¹s scary. > I struggle for my sanity because I so much want to help stop the insanity > and suffering of peoples, wars, governments, etc., as mentioned above, but > don¹t know how, feel powerless to do so, and thus, I suffer. > Just focus on enlivening more....Saturn....steadiness.... Out of Saturn.... quietness..... peace and even bliss.... comes the special integration of rest with activity..... which makes life feel grand.... > Right now, today, I will struggle against ³insanity². It hurts. I will > ponder all of the above. I cannot stop that it seems. I cannot stop and be > happy just taking care of myself. I never lived for myself. We never live, just for us alone.... but we need to be able to focus on 'us' sometimes... when that's especially rocky.... Taking care of 'self',....is #1,....and once doing that.... and it can be enough to just have a great meditation, program in the morning... then, we can focus on others..... but.... Now I am alone, > and need to ³just take care of my own business², but that never interested > me. And perhaps,....nature is telling,.....you ....you need to have more of that special.... bliss...of aloneness,..... which isn't lonely.... but is really internal....bliss.... I joined Hare Krishna at 19, giving up a good life to do so, hoping to > ³save the world². I¹ve always been this way. I am afraid, I hurt, I cry, > right now, today, right now, this minute. I will try to work on my business, > and make money, but the lonliness and seeming stupidity of my personal > choices and existence as judged by my pennilessness and friendlessness > weighs on me. Personal loneliness, isolation....and sadness due to Moon/Sani, in my 12th, ..... was also my path.... but after my 2nd failed marriage,....I finally accepted, ....something I had been feeling... and that was....perhaps....nature wanted me to learn to be happy, by myself.... first... and so, I took a deep breath,....began to face.....that....awkward.... very difficult,... lack of internal center.... and push past...that.... spending more time, to rest,...to meditate... and be.... And slowly, and surely....each day that I meditated.... I began to see, that ....that bliss was there,...inside.... only my small Moon, had a hard time,.... seeing it.... So, I worked on my Moon too. The Moon cycle, watching the Moon, waxings and Wanings...each day..... helped me a lot to be more intune with the Moon, too! My neighbors stare at me in my funny dress, blue body paint, > and weird vehicle with strange messages painted onto it. I feel alone. Even > my so called friends fear me and avoid me. It¹s very painful. > > My heroes, the men and woman I respect, nearly all of them died in the jails > of their own countries, or the oppressors, or were assasinated by their own > governments, or committed suicide to avoid capture, etc., or lived in > ³insanity² waiting to die. As Swami Bhaktivendanta said ³This world is no > place for a gentleman². > > In ancient Rome, people loved to watch animals, slaves, Christians, and > other victims of their empire get tortured and killed in the arena. > Christian martyrs arose out of that, and even struck some thinking into the > dulled Roman heads about their evil ways. Todays ³reality shows² are > similar to the ³arena games² of the Romans. It¹s sick. The consumption, > greed, stupidity, dullness, insensitivity of Roman ways during it¹s fall are > completely apparent in America today. Because of this, again the opposite > will arise from within it, and eventually this will destroy it. The slaves > (the poor people) will rise, new religions will rise, and real sacrifices > will be made, and America, the ugly version of today, will come tumbling > down. > > Knowing this, how can I not suffer. For the battle for a new righteousness > in America has not yet become totally apparent to the masses, the battle has > not become overtly begun, and I am poor, and I am alone, and my mind races, > my age increases, disinterest increases, therefore how can I not suffer? We can,...and should not suffer! because this isn't the lesson of life! Life is Bliss! It's eternal, immortal,...and the living presence of a divine essence... which curses, and pervades every particle and fabric of us,....and everything... Not feeling that bliss... when it's all around us.... is the real loss in the world... And those of us, who are interested in 'spirit' in this life... bringing more of 'that',...into our selves...and this world... is a great pupose! Being a teacher of the 9th house bliss,.... is not just the knowledge of Spirit... which Jupiter in Sagittarius, very much represents.... but, 9th House also represents the 'spirit' or Consciousness of Spirituality,....too... And you need to be that 'bliss', to be a great teacher.... And Saturn will help you find that bliss!!! : > > Really maturing as a soul in this world means to come to the point of being > a spirit over matter. It doesn¹t feel ³comfy² for the body always. In fact, > it often feels ³uncomfy² for the dear body of nerves and flesh. I am a lush > (Venus in the first), but I cannot let that over-rule the spiritual warrior > part of me. So I fear very much, the austerities that I feel quite confident > will be mine alone to enjoy (sarcasm). > > Simply speaking the truth as I do is enough to get you a good dose of > austerity in the form of criticism and lonliness, as one must go along with > the lie to maintain a good material life here in the heart of the evil > empire. > > Since I can¹t lie, I stand out in the evil empire. I cannot go along with > it. > > Now the Hitler like government of Bush-Cheney-Ashcroft are making America > such that you CANNOT LIKE Muslims without being called a sympathizer with > the enemy. They watch emails through their computer monitoring systems, and > anyone who is OK with Muslims, or says anything Pro-Iraq, etc., is labeled > an enemy-sympathizer. The Nazi-ism has begun. They are taking away our > rights in this country, and making it another Totalitarian state, as they > always strive to do (that particular strain of humans who are unfortunately > currently in power, again). > > So if you think, and are honest, you are an enemy sympathizer. In order to > be ³free² in the empire, you must agree with all their Bush-Shite, which > means, you have to stay stupid, and hate others who never did anything to > you. And please, do not 911 me. That¹s NOTHING compared to what we¹ve done > to them, and to MANY other free nations. Besides, it is clearly known and > documented for any thinking person to see that Bu$h is in bed with the Bin > Ladden family in internation arms dealing, and the $audi government too. So > don¹t 911 me. All these families make money off that event, through the > ensuing use of weapons and arms deals etc. It¹s as sick as could be. It¹s > demonic. It¹s VE$RY EV$IL. > > Once during my best financial times, an acquaintance commented to a friend > of mine that I didn¹t buy a nice car, even though I could have. Thank you. > Enough said. It was never the aim of my life to ³enjoy² here like that. I¹m > so glad I never participated in the stupidity of outright material lust and > greed. I am so glad I was always focused on trying to spread good things, > like spiritual knowledge, and I¹m glad I gave up my youth for Krishna and > Caitanya. I have no regrets there. I fear only the pain of my coming times, > because I cannot imagine the evil empire will leave me alone, because my > mouth won¹t leave them alone, and they don¹t like being revealed. Since they > come from and live by darkness of ignorance, they dislike the flashlight of > truth and they attack the mouth which shines it forth. > > I am sorry for my many mistakes. I realize I¹m still making more of them. > If you can somehow save me from my pain, feel free (sarcastic approach to > genuine hope for relief). I wish I could believe it¹s a sunny day. I wish > I could regain some of the happiness I used to feel. I am afraid I won¹t > because I¹m afraid that so long as their is this large scale evil going on > in the form of disinformation, greed, exploitation, and so on, I won¹t be > able to rest easy. I can¹t think ³it¹s just the world¹s karma, and the > little innocents in Iraq for example are SUPPOSED to die and BU$H is > SUPPOSED to dish it out to them². It¹s not a restful ideology to me though > it¹s been preached to me by many fellow so called Vaisnavas and Astrologers > alike. I tend to want to speak out against it, which brings the big guns > down upon you. > > In summary, Jupiter smiled upon my birth intensely. Thank you God, you are > with me. Saturn too was present in a big way (pun), and said, but your work > will make you suffer... It's not Jupiter, that makes us 'suffer', it's Saturn..... And it's not really Sani that makes us suffer, but....'us',...what is that saying... oh, yes, 'ignorance is no excuse under the law.....you break the law, you suffer accordingly...' One of the greatest things I've learned from Saturn,.....is that life, in-tune with Nature, is a lot more fun, then, straining, or being out of tune.... Saturn, represents the wisdom of that in-tune...ment.... Sani represents stillness, and quietness, yes.... but also being... Saturn only acts up, when we don't 'act'.....with enough silence... I was born in Sade Sat, I was born with a very challenging Moon w/Saturn.... and it wasn't until I learned to meditate, that the intense, 'grief' that I felt every day, started to be less.... And then, it wasn't until I learned Jyotish, where I learned that, 'I', personally, needed even more Saturn silence, then I thought,.... and when I surrendered to 'that',....to Sani,....then,...my life finally,....turned around... I have to say, the last 7 years have been the happiest of my life... and me, still in Saturn Mahadasa.... Now, I realize....Sani wants us to have one foot completely, still, in...silence.....while the other,... Jupiter one...moves forward.... then, they shift,....and the other foot, needs to become saturn like, still, and the previous foot becomes the expansive, Jupiter foot! what Jupiter places in you, will make you suffer. > > This is the real meaning of my ninth house. You cannot have that strong of > a Jupiter in this world WITHOUT Saturn coming along for the ride. That¹s a > fact. So it is in my chart. That¹s a SPIRITUAL Jupiter, not a > materialistic one, as some others have very nicely. Mine is > religious/spiritual. So Saturn HAS to come, because the evil empire still > exists, and a strong Spiritual Jupiter will ALWAYS be the key enemy they > seek to squash, so that the masses will remain their slaves with no real > knowledge of their own souls. Well said, and realizing....just how to allow more wisdom of Saturn,...to come into your life... will greatly help that house... There is this tension between Sani & Jupiter, anyway, because they're sooo different, but then, you put them into the same house, or as in my case, in opposite houses, and their perspectives strongly influence each other.... In other words, progess and expansion, will then depend more strongly on how balanced Sani, especially is.... In your chart, 'das', Jupiter is the benefic, and Saturn is the hindering influence... but, this is just so you learn to understand, trust, surrender,...and grow in Sani's special wisdom. As you do that even more and more, especially on a non-intellectual, physical, nervous system, level....then Sani.... will turn around and become benefic! What a joy that is, when 'we' make that experience, happen... Sani, for most is the worst malefic,...(functional, anyway) and perhaps that's because of the intense, out of tune, world we live in... Nature, however, is completely pure and impartial. Nature allows us to do whatever we want.... there's only one rule,.... we have to experience the consequences of those actions... And where we might not have understood about Saturn balance, or wisdom in our last life, in this one,....we can begin to put more attention....on Sani's special, blessings.... The malefics in our charts, are not just our sufferings or our consequences, ...... they're also the special opportunities, that we're meant to grow in... and once we embrace them, learn their lessons, then,...our reward,.....natural, new consequence of our newly learned insights...... we'll experience the functional 'beneficness' of those old planets.... > > Divide and Conquer. Bu$h wants U$ to HATE muslims, the latest enemy of > their creation, so that we will fear, and act under their ³leadership², and > pay more money to them, for THEIR weapons, from the companies THEY own, so > that their agenda WILL BE ACCOMPLISHED but not by their own labor, but > yours, ours. > > They are dividing us, whereas Spirituality unites us. We are all one as > souls, but only different in external dress, which includes our cultures, > prophets, etc. The aim is one, to live in peace and be able to rejoice in > Spirit, live in Spirit. The aim of life is not to worship MTV, Hollywood, > lust and greed, etc. No. It is to have farm life, village life, happy life, > simple life, realize Spirit, and become Divine. > > Enough for now. Thanks for listening. If you read all and understand, I > shake your hand, or even hug you. > > With love, your brother in Spirit, > > Reichard MacQuoid-Wuerst > (Das Goravani) \ Jai Guru, Mark Kincaid founder Starlight Unlimited, a business, promoting Jyotish into all areas of life. Nature's Astrology: / a , looking at the best of Western & Eastern Astrologys, and how we can encourage a development of a true, modern day Science of Astrology and new : kincaidmark/ for those who want more formal jyotish. > > > > > > > > > > > Links > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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