News from Das Goravani

[Guest guest]

Hello

 

I continue to recover from a long mental/emotional illness or trauma.

 

I am trying to catch up. There is much unanswered email and phone calls. I'm

sorry.

 

I am happy to see that sometimes you help each other on this list.

 

Sometimes for weeks I am not able to read or attend to business.

 

However, things are improving these days for me. The meds and my choices of

who to live with are improving me. I am free from all bad habits at this

time.

 

I could write a long article on the causes, curing and details of serious

mental illness. It's quite a subject. For now, I'm trying to tend to

business.

 

I reall appreciate your love, support, patience, and helping of each other

with Jyotish and the software.

 

Those of you concerned about me should know that it is indeed true that

things are improving for me. I am fully free from a certain past long term

relationship that was detrimental to me. I am free from my past bad habits

picked up to cope with my problems. I am on meds that work for me including

Lithium. I am much more stable than in past times when I blurted out my woes

to this list. I am living with my daughter and her husband- people who

actually love me and don't mess with my head. My psychiatrist and family

members clearly see my progress, as do I. I am slowly getting back to work.

GJ3 WILL happen. I'm not going away.

 

Celtic: Still collecting books, studying, painting it, and so on. This is an

awesome area of study. There is so much being done here. An ancient culture

is being rediscovered, dusted off, and brought out, by people from

Universities to little guys like me. It's very exciting. It's very similar

to Vedic culture in many ways. As we try to convince the materialistic white

western culture to spiritualize, it will be helpful to show them one of

their OWN past spiritual cultures. This is one benefit of this work.

 

Jyotish is the ultimate existing astrological system, which is a big part of

showing the truth of life to everyone. Jyotish works, and this flies in the

face of much of what is now the Western Paradigm of life, based largely on

free will and using Divinity as an order desk at best, rather than a Shelter

and Destination after many perfect lessons.

 

Regarding my email addresses: Some of you write to all my addresses, such

as

 

 

service

sales

 

I just want to say:

 

I check all 3 ALWAYS at the same time, and thus I get your emails in

triplicate. You need only send to one of them. They all get equal attention,

which unfortunately has been just to collect the mail usually. The main one

is . I am trying now to get to answering months worth.

 

Regarding my name: I was born Richard Wurst, which means "sausage" or "meat"

in German, so I changed my name in the 80's to a Hare Krishna compatible

name, since that was my great love then, and that was Das Goravani. This is

my legal name still today, on my drivers license etc.

 

I am however Irish largely, and love the Celtic culture, and have a right to

use the Matriarchal name of my family, which would make me Richard McKay. In

Scotland this work make me Roik McKai. There are many spellings of this

interesting and ancient clann name, including it's full spelling, MacAoidh.

 

I sometimes sign off one way, sometimes the other. You could say I'm

inbetween names. I love Hindu culture, but feel that I am in a Celtic body,

or a White body, and indeed nowadays I dress in clothes which are painted

all Celtic. I have taken to painting my clothes with celtic designs. This is

making me look quite like a native, so to speak. I am interested in helping

to bring back this culture, which is "my culture", using my bodily identity

temporarily here. It is a very spiritually based culture, believing in

reincarnation and many things similar to my beloved Hinduism.

 

So if I sign off as Roik McKay, don't laugh at me, it really is my name,

just as much as Das Goravani, or perhaps more so.

 

I think it was/is my karma to have learned from Great India so as to be

better able to help revitalize my own mother culture so to speak.

 

I think Sanjay Rath can attest from his trip to Ireland that there is much

more there than just a green grassy Island. It was the final home of one of

the greatest ancient cultures which was nearly obliterated by the sands of

time and Roman legions, and other things a very long time ago.

 

One great Welsch (Celtic) scholar wrote that in India the modern Celtics can

find the best representation of the ancient celtic priesthood. This is true

in my mind. This is why, I think, I was led to it. I am to learn from/serve

both. I want to do so, and am doing so.

 

Depression and collapse is largely caused, often, by the realization that

one's dreams are not going to be fulfilled. This is selfish on one hand,

true, quite mundane, quite unworthy. Making it through such a test however,

the person can go on in a more detached way. This is happening for me. You

must adjust, and I am adjusting, and then you can go on with more realism,

more in touch with how things really are. Sometimes we break, so as to be

rebuilt better, or as Sabine told me once, we "mulch" in Winter to grow in

Spring. Midlife crisis is strongest for those with the most ego and the

biggest dreams, and mine were big.

 

My greatest lust and attachment has been not fulfilled enough, and so I did

alot of crying over this, felt alot of fear over this. It remains

unfulfilled, but I am learning to go on anyway, like a child. When one is

used to commanding things, and being like a King, to be beaten by a

seemingly small opponent is a great cause of shame, distress, pain, anquish,

and so on. It's easy to talk about detached service to divinity, but hard to

do it when really tested. I talked alot, then I was tested. Still am being

tested. Still failing. Still trying.

 

I am at this time trying to process all emails, orders, etc., which have

piled up over the last month or so, or months.

 

Regarding my honesty and my problem, blurting out, telling the world, etc:

 

Many have advised me not to do this. Sometimes I did it out of severe panic,

in the past that is. This letter is written with a cool head, not out of

panic. As many warnings and laughing pointing fingers as I've received, so

also have I received many thanks for what I've done in honesty. So I've

decided not to hide my personal plight. I find it to be like like "illusion

busting" to be one of the ones who is honestly speaking about their life.

Sometimes it helps others who have similar troubles. I have received the

most heartfelt thank-you-letters that you can imagine, so I go on as I am.

 

I have come to recognize that it is indeed a bit of a loss of energy, and an

opening for damage or ridicule, losses, to act in this way, to speak

publicly in this way, so it is a sacrifice in some ways. In other ways it is

a fortification, as honesty is indeed, a reward in itself, and a type of

strengthening factor in itself. I have 1st lord in 12th, and 10th lord in

9th, so these factors indicate one who "gives up" and "gives out" more

easily than keeping for self, in order to survive and rise in life. It's all

in the plan.

 

With love to you,

 

das goravani