(No subject)

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everybody for sharing your thoughts and writings with me. After

reading again and again the e-mails, I think I’m finally making up my

mind in a way that makes it less hard to live with the destiny idea.

I know I just can't go on thinking that I can't change things. I have a deep

feeling that I’m in the wrong place. I just can't spend 80% of my life

just making my company’s stockholders richer, fighting for market share.

If that's my mission here in earth, it’s very sad...

But if I can have I different mission, I still don't know what it is, but I will

sure try do discover. Maybe "the stars just impel, they do not compel" and we

are really co-creators of our reality, in the past, present and future.

Of course I have a lot of fear in leaving my job and not being able to make

enough money to live comfortably. I see now that I keep making myself a lot of

excuses not to do what I think I should, that is having another kind of job,

one which could make a difference for people lives, related to things that I

believe in.

I think first I’ll have to face these fears and then try to find out what

I could do, what are my talents.

Ruth, I liked what you said about my numerology, I really love arts and artists

but I feel I have no talent and no creativity. I would love to be an artist,

work with creativity or even write books, but I really do not feel capable. In

my school life I showed being very good with numbers, and that’s why I

studied engineering. But during college I realized that I chose the wrong

career. I was good at it, but I didn’t like it at all. It was at that

time that I started feeling that I had to have a cause. Working just for money

wouldn’t satisfy me. But I needed money, so I went for it.

I don’t regret, but I have to change now. Everything shows me I have to

change (just the planets that don’t...).

I’m reading the book Autobiography of a Yogi from Paramahansa Yogananda,

and in a chapter that talks about astrology his guru says that the message

written in the sky when we are born does not have the intention to emphasize

our destiny, but to wake up our will to free us from our universal prison (I

don’t know if prison would be the exact word).

I like it! I can live with that! It motivated me to continue studying astrology.

I still don't have all the answers for my questions but I feel better now, thanks to all of you!

Rosa.