Religious verse Functional

[Guest guest]

>

> Das, I have read long posts from you with you crying about self isolation,

> lonliness, depression and you inner battles with yourself. We have to ask

> has all your "spiritual training" actually made you into a more functional

> human being.

 

Hmm, well, I'm obviously troubled, for years. Can't deny that.

 

I've thought how to answer this, and truly to be honest, I think the truth

is that some of us are culture leaders or makers, and we sacrifice for the

greater good. That's what I've done, and I've paid a heavy price. No, I'm

not normal, and in the usual sense, not that functional, but then, I never

wanted to be with the normal crowd. It got really shallow and boring by age

19. Just that I thought there would be more company, but I isolated myself

by working at home, unknowingly really, and didn't realize what would

happen.

 

The countless thank you letters I've received are the accomplishment. I'm

above and beyond functional in that way, have done much more than most in

some ways, by the sacrifice.

 

There's a good chance my problems are temporary, thought it's been long, and

that one day they will be solved when I'm out more, know more people

personally rather than just professionally through email.

 

My horor dear Andrew comes from the general nature of the people of America

being some distance below my personal standard of what is interesting,

acceptable as souls, and so on. I'm just not impressed by the current

"norms", and seeking more, find it difficult.

 

I was shocked that I wasn't having to turn away prospective wives from

amongst the "enlightened", thinking that my work would qualify me as

"desirable", but I've been so wrong about how life and people work.

 

So my answer is my training introduced me to great things, angels really,

God, Angels, Divinity, Beauty, yes, greatly so. I can defend it.

 

No, it has not made me more functional in the "normal" realm. It has harmed

me there.

 

There are really good people who think I'm a really good person. I just

wanted a partner and haven't found one. That's the only thing that's really

been wrong, as I wasn't wired for years, to be able to be alone. I am based

on passion and mission, it fills my head; I don't have any circuits that

regulate and make it ok when it's just "life, day after day, alone and the

same". I couldn't cut that mustard, and still can't, but I'm better, good

enough to function more than I was.

 

I think the training I received is excellent in many ways, and I know alot

about many important real things because of it. My problems are related to

other parts of my karma, and don't mean that Brahmacari Vaisnava training is

bad or disfunctional.

 

People like me who care about spiritual information being disseminated are

responsible for pretty all that we are dealing with here, and amongst us, I

dare say, is Maharishi, Paramahansa Yogananda, Ammachi, Rajneesh, Jesus,

Mohamed, and many others. I think to discount spiritual training, lifestyle,

priesthood, completely, is wrong, and would leave the world a very cold and

empty space with no real value attached to life, just plain materialism.

 

I don't think that would be good.

 

Today I got alot from reading a book on Celtic Shamanism by the Mathews. It

was very helpful. Their sacrifices helped me. My sacrifices have helped

others. I think this is good. We who devote to learning, keeping and

teaching these matters do make a difference, but often with great personal

sacrifice.

 

David Frawley has a hard time with relationships, he told me so personally.

He has written fantastic books. They help people. There are many like this.

 

In order to write what I have on my website, I had to be who I am, and so

many people thank me for it, including many Hindus from India and all over

the world. Sacrifice.

 

Krishna says: The supreme eternal is always situated in acts of sacrifice.

 

I can't change this aspect of me, that I care about truth, big truth, the

biggest. I can only hope that one day I won't be alone all the time. I think

how to make it happen, but can't yet figure that out. I'm currently

sacrificing to try to finish an awesome piece of software, always alone, but

I can't leave it for lesser concerns. I just wish and hope and pray, and

mainly, I pray for the ability to serve without desire for things for me.

 

Peace Andrew, you are a good astrologer and forthright speaker,

 

das goravani